Tag Archives: daily beast

  america's literary masters

Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself

Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. Read more on Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself…
  media hires

George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast

Uhh: “Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me fishing when I was a kid. We’d go fishing for bluefish off the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of fishing from listening to him, and the joy of fishing from watching him. Dad’s a good hunter, too, and one Christmas he gave me a shotgun, a .410. I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks. Those are fond memories.” [Daily Beast] Read more on George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast…
  whoa hey

SELL OUT: What the dickens is this? It’s a piece your male associate editor wrote for Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency (can we still call it that?) about Terry McAuliffe’s insane Virginia governor campaign, fun. It has a vague “structure” and “argument” and simply would not have been appropriate for Wonkette. [Daily Beast] Read more on …
  young meg mccabe

Meghan McCain Reveals Nothing In New Column About Nothing

Nah, we’ve read the whole thing, and there’s nothing dirty. Tricksy tricksy Meghan! The column’s called “The GOP Doesn’t Understand Sex” and it’s like, for serious, what is up with the GOP totally not ever talking about sex? What is up with that dudes? But she’s Meghan McCain and she don’t censor nothin’, she’ll write about sex (vaguely) all day long; can you hatin’ bitches even handle that? Read more on Meghan McCain Reveals Nothing In New Column About Nothing…
  internet fight!

Meghan McCain Rant Directed At One MATTHEW YGLESIAS?

Hey we solved a mystery, maybe! In her infamous Twitter Rant, Meghan McCain cites “a particularly nasty comment from a person I won’t say how but I indirectly work with questioning if I have ever worked.” Blah blah blah WHAT? (Just read it a few times and it will vaguely resemble English.) So who is this secret meany? He would have written something for the Daily Beast (freelancing = “indirectly working with”)… why it must be prominent young communist MATT YGLESIAS, YES? Read more on Meghan McCain Rant Directed At One MATTHEW YGLESIAS?…
  naughty naughty!

Meghan McCain Hellish Twitter Rant UNCENSORED

Whoa hey it’s Meghan McCain goin’ nuts on Twitter! It seems that a “co-worker” of hers at Tina Brown’s Death Lion has been talking SHIT about her and how she’s never had a job before, something your Wonkette had never considered until now (PSST search “meghan mccain” “unemployed”). This led Meghan to a churn out a 9-twat-long rant listing every job she’s ever had, because UMM OMG she’s the most employed person ever, bitch? She then SCRUBBED this thing entirely — because it was insane — but someone had already e-mailed us the page, which was probably her plan in the first place. Read more on Meghan McCain Hellish Twitter Rant UNCENSORED…
  first daughter first love

Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts

Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency, Cthulhu du Jour, continues to pay Meghan McCain a few dollars to write what is starting to sound like some fading newspaper’s “youth columnist.” It is dismal. And today, it’s just some used-up “Whoa Karl Rove is on Twitter” waste product, which even your Wonkette got tired of back in January, when George W. Bush was still president. Read more on Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts…
  condi's world

Condi Rice’s Big Adventure At The Masters Tournament

Condi Rice wrote an article for Tina Brown’s Internet Welfare Program For Lonely Republican Spinsters, and it is all about her new favorite game, golf. Somebody who knows something about golf might be able to “analyze” this article but we are not Deadspin over here so let’s just pick out some funny quotes. Read more on Condi Rice’s Big Adventure At The Masters Tournament…
  like is she for real?

Meghan McCain Lands Book Deal For $100 Million Ameros

It is the political news of the century, and the New York Observer has WON THE AFTERNOON: “Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures.” Yup! Somehow her insanely terrible Daily Beast/cable news media sojourn has worked, and now she is rich as the dickens, all over again. So what’s the book about? Will it be like her columns? “Umm Hey Government Guys? This Ahmad Chalabi Dude Is Totes Lying To You?” Read more on Meghan McCain Lands Book Deal For $100 Million Ameros…
  insult to injury

CNN Readers Viciously Attack Meghan McCain For Not Getting Dates

Every unemployed blogger knows how hard it is to find romance when you’re not doing much of anything except being supported by your parents. This alone could explain Meghan McCain’s dating predicament! But instead of just trolling for free or cheap sex on Craigslist like a normal human, she had to whine about it on Tina Brown’s Waughvian Internet Lark, which statistics show is a very unreliable means of getting laid. Read more on CNN Readers Viciously Attack Meghan McCain For Not Getting Dates…
  spinsters

Meghan McCain So Lonely Because GOP Dudes Just Want To Do Her Old Mom

Terminally unemployed beer heiress Meghan McCain continues her very weird too-much-information blogging at Tina Brown’s secret charity project for the rich, The Daily Beast. Today, we learn how she is just not getting laid at all, and she is NOT turned on by Obama supporters (because they hate her fraud dad) but she is also not really charmed by GOP guys, because they’re all homos who will only date Meghan if she’ll dress like her mom — pearls, weird pants-suits, etc. — because all the closeted Republicans need somebody who looks kind of like that to be the “political spouse.” Read more on Meghan McCain So Lonely Because GOP Dudes Just Want To Do Her Old Mom…
  major interviews

Meghan McCain Grills Mother Cindy In Stunning Interview

Like many unemployed Americans, “first daughter” Meghan McCain now blogs for The Daily Beast. Tapping deep into her journalistic Rolodex of sources, she was able to score an interview with John McCain’s second and current wife, Cindy! Meghan uses the opportunity to ask such pressing questions as, “The one thing I always wished was that people would have gotten to see your sense of humor in different situations. Why do you think that never was able to happen?” Ha ha THE INTERNET. Read more on Meghan McCain Grills Mother Cindy In Stunning Interview…
  ex-flappers

McCain’s Auntie Says He Will Die In Office, But Whatever

Almost as hilarious as John McCain’s 96-year-old mother Roberta is her twin sister — McCain’s auntie! — Rowena Willis. These spunky gals just say whatever the hell they think of first, making them ripe targets for reporters’ exploitation. Willis is now telling The Daily Beast this truth about her nephew: “I’m hoping he wins, for the country’s sake. I figure it will kill him, but he’s going to die one day anyway, so he might as well do it there.” She also says that Roberta doesn’t give a shit who wins. [Daily Beast] Read more on McCain’s Auntie Says He Will Die In Office, But Whatever…
  dept. of things making zero sense

Former Edwards Staffer Will Vote For McCain, Because Of Economy

With every Republican short of Roberta McCain endorsing Barack Obama, it only makes sense that somebody would try to dig up a Democrat voting for McCain (NO LIEBERMAN DOES NOT COUNT). And here it is, your token Democrat Wendy Button, writing in Evelyn Waugh’s Weblog Compendium of Critical Musings about how the Democratic party has abandoned her. She worked for John Edwards — a big fat libtard liberal with fancy ideas about how government should help people, and poor people shouldn’t be poor — and now, after the media made fun of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton, she will be voting for John McCain, because he has promised not to raise rich people’s taxes. Huh? On a side note, if this gal can get a job writing for three major Democratic presidential candidates, your Wonkette editors should get the fucking Nobel Prize for literature. [The Daily Beast] Read more on Former Edwards Staffer Will Vote For McCain, Because Of Economy…
  new muslim traitors

Christopher Buckley Quits National Review, Scorns Them All

After Christopher Buckley insulted his dead father’s National Review magazine by endorsing a liberal black Maoist over the Crazyfarts McBombs and Sideshow Moosetits ticket, every editor at the National Review and every wingnut with an AOL account called him a traitor to his own family, Jesus, and The Cause. And so Buckley has now quit his columnist position at the magazine and written a rather brutal excoriation of Modern Conservatism on Tina Brown’s new Huffington Post, The British Space Cyclops. Read more on Christopher Buckley Quits National Review, Scorns Them All…
  but obama's black!

Famous Conservative Son of Famous Conservative Legend Is Voting For Barack Obama

Not that it matters, because the modern Republican fat-ass troglodyte with a sixth-grade education and a dollar-forty in the bank is not exactly spending a lot of time reading books, but talented conservative author and essayist Christopher Buckley is now officially in the tank. He is voting for Barack Obama. (Yes, Christopher B. is the son of William F. Buckley, the founder of both the National Review and mid-20th Century conservative intellectualism, which is 100% dead forever now.) Read more on Famous Conservative Son of Famous Conservative Legend Is Voting For Barack Obama…