Tag Archives: daily beast

  today in brilliant email pitches from other websites

Lady On Website Wonders If Sarah Palin Is Real Or Not

This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN? Read more on Lady On Website Wonders If Sarah Palin Is Real Or Not…
  psychopath mad libs

Sarah Palin Is NOT Afraid To Discuss Levi Johnston With A Pejorative Reference To His Own Alter-Ego (?)

Hey Mr. Levi Johnston, you better WATCH OUT because Sarah Palin as a new very hurtful nickname she will begin calling you! It is “Ricky Hollywood,” for reasons! Reports Ben Smith: “Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska, responded: ‘I don’t think a national television show is the place to discuss some of things he’d been doing and saying.’ She continued: ‘By the way, I don’t know if we call him Levi — I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now, so, if that’s the case, we don’t want to mess up this gig he’s got going…. Kind of this aspiring, aspiring porn — the things that he’s doing. It’s kind of heartbreaking.'” Smith with the etymology after the jump. Read more on Sarah Palin Is NOT Afraid To Discuss Levi Johnston With A Pejorative Reference To His Own Alter-Ego (?)…
  haters

Obama Cares More About Dumb Skip Gates Than Every Woman On Earth, Combined, + Rihanna

Well it is ABOUT TIME someone spoke out about Obama’s malicious treatment of Rihanna that night like a year ago when her boyfriend, Rihanna’s Boyfriend, hit her. And look, we already have the Daily Beast, explicitly designed for the publication and promotion of such a crucial polemic: Read more on Obama Cares More About Dumb Skip Gates Than Every Woman On Earth, Combined, + Rihanna…
  best friends

Meghan McCain Will Defend You In Her Experimental Blog Novel, Joe Lieberman!

Now Meghan McCain is going to defend Joe Lieberman! No do not groan, this will be great! You know, at some point, someone will presumably let Meghan McCain in on the Meghan McCain “in-joke.” This will be a very sad day. Exhibit A, from beautiful, young Meg’s Daily Beast column: “I find it especially ironic that most of those who criticize Senator Lieberman more often than not have never run for elected office. But as the old saying goes, those that can’t do, criticize.” This is like… the rhetorical equivalent of an MC Escher drawing done in lipstick. Read more on Meghan McCain Will Defend You In Her Experimental Blog Novel, Joe Lieberman!…
  john mccain's daughter

The Meghan McCain Warholboobstwitter-gate Apologia

It’s here it’s here it’s here! We have not slept since Meghan McCain first promised the promised Daily Beast column in which she would refuse to apologize for her boobs’ preference for pop art. This was the biggest scandal in D.C. politics, just yesterday. “And I hadn’t even exposed a nipple,” she whines emptily and cynically. This whole thing is just such an excruciating exercise in bad faith, in which ole Meg asserts ad nauseum that she, like all American women and daughters everywhere, has boobs, so if y’all aren’t ready to deal with that then you should get ready, alright? Read more on The Meghan McCain Warholboobstwitter-gate Apologia…
  wonkette: or virtue unrewarded

Meghan McCain Did NOT Enjoy That One Time Your Wonkette Was Nice To Her!

WHAT UP Meg McCabe? It’s gonna be like this, is it? “After my recent appearance on Jay Leno, one Web site posted a comment from the editor saying, mockingly, they have a ‘NEW ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY for comments of a certain strain about young Meg’s physical appearance. She is an impressionable young brilliant Republican strategist!’ You can imagine the kind of charming comments that followed.” Meghan McCain what are you doing? NEW 99% TOLERANCE POLICY for comments of a certain strain. [Daily Beast] Read more on Meghan McCain Did NOT Enjoy That One Time Your Wonkette Was Nice To Her!…
  shhh

The Least America Could Do Is Wish Mark Sanford Luck On His “Secret-Agent Mission”

Hey remember Mark Sanford’s affair? Well, Mark Sanford certainly does, and he would like to take this opportunity to implore you to just GET OVER IT. In fact, he will be publicly reminding everyone of his own Argentinian extramarital sparkin’ thing until America decides to just grow up and forget it already. But you know, while we’re on the subject of Mark Sanford, Mark Sanford has a few ideas about some helpful metaphors everyone can use in dealing with this whole “Mark Sanford situation”:  “Everybody is assigned their own secret-agent mission in life. And at times the tricky part, the hard part, is finding out what that secret-agent mission is. Some of us do it early, some of us do it later in life.” Read more on The Least America Could Do Is Wish Mark Sanford Luck On His “Secret-Agent Mission”…
  america's literary masters

Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself

Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. Read more on Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself…
  media hires

George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast

Uhh: “Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me fishing when I was a kid. We’d go fishing for bluefish off the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of fishing from listening to him, and the joy of fishing from watching him. Dad’s a good hunter, too, and one Christmas he gave me a shotgun, a .410. I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks. Those are fond memories.” [Daily Beast] Read more on George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast…
  whoa hey

SELL OUT: What the dickens is this? It’s a piece your male associate editor wrote for Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency (can we still call it that?) about Terry McAuliffe’s insane Virginia governor campaign, fun. It has a vague “structure” and “argument” and simply would not have been appropriate for Wonkette. [Daily Beast] Read more on …
  young meg mccabe

Meghan McCain Reveals Nothing In New Column About Nothing

Nah, we’ve read the whole thing, and there’s nothing dirty. Tricksy tricksy Meghan! The column’s called “The GOP Doesn’t Understand Sex” and it’s like, for serious, what is up with the GOP totally not ever talking about sex? What is up with that dudes? But she’s Meghan McCain and she don’t censor nothin’, she’ll write about sex (vaguely) all day long; can you hatin’ bitches even handle that? Read more on Meghan McCain Reveals Nothing In New Column About Nothing…
  internet fight!

Meghan McCain Rant Directed At One MATTHEW YGLESIAS?

Hey we solved a mystery, maybe! In her infamous Twitter Rant, Meghan McCain cites “a particularly nasty comment from a person I won’t say how but I indirectly work with questioning if I have ever worked.” Blah blah blah WHAT? (Just read it a few times and it will vaguely resemble English.) So who is this secret meany? He would have written something for the Daily Beast (freelancing = “indirectly working with”)… why it must be prominent young communist MATT YGLESIAS, YES? Read more on Meghan McCain Rant Directed At One MATTHEW YGLESIAS?…
  naughty naughty!

Meghan McCain Hellish Twitter Rant UNCENSORED

Whoa hey it’s Meghan McCain goin’ nuts on Twitter! It seems that a “co-worker” of hers at Tina Brown’s Death Lion has been talking SHIT about her and how she’s never had a job before, something your Wonkette had never considered until now (PSST search “meghan mccain” “unemployed”). This led Meghan to a churn out a 9-twat-long rant listing every job she’s ever had, because UMM OMG she’s the most employed person ever, bitch? She then SCRUBBED this thing entirely — because it was insane — but someone had already e-mailed us the page, which was probably her plan in the first place. Read more on Meghan McCain Hellish Twitter Rant UNCENSORED…
  first daughter first love

Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts

Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency, Cthulhu du Jour, continues to pay Meghan McCain a few dollars to write what is starting to sound like some fading newspaper’s “youth columnist.” It is dismal. And today, it’s just some used-up “Whoa Karl Rove is on Twitter” waste product, which even your Wonkette got tired of back in January, when George W. Bush was still president. Read more on Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts…
  condi's world

Condi Rice’s Big Adventure At The Masters Tournament

Condi Rice wrote an article for Tina Brown’s Internet Welfare Program For Lonely Republican Spinsters, and it is all about her new favorite game, golf. Somebody who knows something about golf might be able to “analyze” this article but we are not Deadspin over here so let’s just pick out some funny quotes. Read more on Condi Rice’s Big Adventure At The Masters Tournament…
  like is she for real?

Meghan McCain Lands Book Deal For $100 Million Ameros

It is the political news of the century, and the New York Observer has WON THE AFTERNOON: “Meghan McCain’s Book Sold to Hyperion For High Six Figures.” Yup! Somehow her insanely terrible Daily Beast/cable news media sojourn has worked, and now she is rich as the dickens, all over again. So what’s the book about? Will it be like her columns? “Umm Hey Government Guys? This Ahmad Chalabi Dude Is Totes Lying To You?” Read more on Meghan McCain Lands Book Deal For $100 Million Ameros…