This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN? MORE »

Hey Mr. Levi Johnston, you better WATCH OUT because Sarah Palin as a new very hurtful nickname she will begin calling you! It is “Ricky Hollywood,” for reasons! Reports Ben Smith: “Asked by Oprah about Levi Johnston, Palin, R-Alaska, responded: ‘I don’t think a national television show is the place to discuss some of things he’d been doing and saying.’ She continued: ‘By the way, I don’t know if we call him Levi — I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now, so, if that’s the case, we don’t want to mess up this gig he’s got going…. Kind of this aspiring, aspiring porn — the things that he’s doing. It’s kind of heartbreaking.’” Smith with the etymology after the jump. MORE »

Well it is ABOUT TIME someone spoke out about Obama’s malicious treatment of Rihanna that night like a year ago when her boyfriend, Rihanna’s Boyfriend, hit her. And look, we already have the Daily Beast, explicitly designed for the publication and promotion of such a crucial polemic: MORE »

Now Meghan McCain is going to defend Joe Lieberman! No do not groan, this will be great! You know, at some point, someone will presumably let Meghan McCain in on the Meghan McCain “in-joke.” This will be a very sad day. Exhibit A, from beautiful, young Meg’s Daily Beast column: “I find it especially ironic that most of those who criticize Senator Lieberman more often than not have never run for elected office. But as the old saying goes, those that can’t do, criticize.” This is like… the rhetorical equivalent of an MC Escher drawing done in lipstick. MORE »

It’s here it’s here it’s here! We have not slept since Meghan McCain first promised the promised Daily Beast column in which she would refuse to apologize for her boobs’ preference for pop art. This was the biggest scandal in D.C. politics, just yesterday. “And I hadn’t even exposed a nipple,” she whines emptily and cynically. This whole thing is just such an excruciating exercise in bad faith, in which ole Meg asserts ad nauseum that she, like all American women and daughters everywhere, has boobs, so if y’all aren’t ready to deal with that then you should get ready, alright? MORE »

WHAT UP Meg McCabe? It’s gonna be like this, is it? “After my recent appearance on Jay Leno, one Web site posted a comment from the editor saying, mockingly, they have a ‘NEW ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY for comments of a certain strain about young Meg’s physical appearance. She is an impressionable young brilliant Republican strategist!’ You can imagine the kind of charming comments that followed.” Meghan McCain what are you doing? NEW 99% TOLERANCE POLICY for comments of a certain strain. [Daily Beast]

Hey remember Mark Sanford’s affair? Well, Mark Sanford certainly does, and he would like to take this opportunity to implore you to just GET OVER IT. In fact, he will be publicly reminding everyone of his own Argentinian extramarital sparkin’ thing until America decides to just grow up and forget it already. But you know, while we’re on the subject of Mark Sanford, Mark Sanford has a few ideas about some helpful metaphors everyone can use in dealing with this whole “Mark Sanford situation”:  “Everybody is assigned their own secret-agent mission in life. And at times the tricky part, the hard part, is finding out what that secret-agent mission is. Some of us do it early, some of us do it later in life.” MORE »

Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. MORE »

Uhh: “Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me fishing when I was a kid. We’d go fishing for bluefish off the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of fishing from listening to him, and the joy of fishing from watching him. Dad’s a good hunter, too, and one Christmas he gave me a shotgun, a .410. I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks. Those are fond memories.” [Daily Beast]

SELL OUT: What the dickens is this? It’s a piece your male associate editor wrote for Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency (can we still call it that?) about Terry McAuliffe’s insane Virginia governor campaign, fun. It has a vague “structure” and “argument” and simply would not have been appropriate for Wonkette. [Daily Beast]

Nah, we’ve read the whole thing, and there’s nothing dirty. Tricksy tricksy Meghan! The column’s called “The GOP Doesn’t Understand Sex” and it’s like, for serious, what is up with the GOP totally not ever talking about sex? What is up with that dudes? But she’s Meghan McCain and she don’t censor nothin’, she’ll write about sex (vaguely) all day long; can you hatin’ bitches even handle that? MORE »