Tag Archives: dads

  Dad Boners

Oh Look At All These Dads Creeping On Their Daughters, For Jesus

“Do not allow the obvious metaphor behind us to give you any ideas, young lady.” In virginity news, let us now examine Swedish photographer David Magnusson’s photographs of fathers and virginal daughters at their purity balls. What is a purity ball, you ask? Oh, just a formal ceremony where a daughter pledges not to experience natural, healthy sexual pleasure in any way, shape, or form until she’s married, of course. She makes the promise to God, but since he’s busy being invisible in the sky, her dad stands in. This makes sense when you consider the aggressively patriarchal nature of conservative Christianity. It also makes sense when you consider that some fathers are not happy nice time people but are instead creepy, overprotective hymencopter dads, who totally look like they want to fuck their daughters. Read more on Oh Look At All These Dads Creeping On Their Daughters, For Jesus…
  vice history's greatest monster

Pearls, Clutched: Joe Biden Mocked Paul Ryan’s Dead Dad By Saying ‘Dad’ And ‘Paul Ryan’ In Same Sentence

The Weekly Standard reports! Vice President Joe Biden invoked Paul Ryan’s deceased father to question the Republican vice presidential candidate’s values: Blah blah blah, transcript transcript transcript. Ryan’s father died when the congressman was 15 years old. That is pretty low, you guys, acknowledging the existence of Paul Ryan’s dead father, and commenting on things that have come out of Paul Ryan’s mouth. That is soooo Joe Biden. Why can’t Joe Biden be nice to people for just one time in his life? Read more on Pearls, Clutched: Joe Biden Mocked Paul Ryan’s Dead Dad By Saying ‘Dad’ And ‘Paul Ryan’ In Same Sentence…
  law and order: dads

Loughner’s Annoying Dad Bothered Him On Way To Alleged Murders

Saturday’s shooting spree and attempted assassination in Arizona is a story of senseless violence, mental instability, but also bravery. But also also, it is a story of dads being dads. Dads: Why won’t they leave you alone? Why are they constantly asking you to turn down the music up there? Why are they always trying to mess up your murderous rampage at the local grocery store? GOD, DADS, YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. Obviously, as Jared Loughner shows us, trying to plan out an assassination when you still live with your parents is the worst. “Get out of my room! I’m trying to work on the grisly murder of a government official and random bystanders! Jeeeeeeeeeez! Can’t I get a little privacy?” Read more on Loughner’s Annoying Dad Bothered Him On Way To Alleged Murders…