After a multi-week hiatus, today’s Wonk’d features the return of George Stephanopoulos, who’s hip to the best pizza in DC. Also, from NYC, the bi-metro Clintons party with, but not like, rockstars, while Al Gore dry-humps his SUV. Cynthia McKinney keeps it real, and, uh, Ruben Studdard was here for some reason. Finally, a sighting so heinous it needs a disclaimer: If you make the jump, and read what follows, you will be unable to completely erase the mental image from your mind. Things thought cannot be unthought — even with all the drugs you bought last night for the weekend.

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Instead of protecting and serving, local cops have launched a jihad against the crippled and sickly.

Here we have a D.C. Metro Police cruiser parked in a handicapped space at the Harris Teeter in Pentagon Row. We know it is a crowded parking lot, but the handicapped spot? What kind of grocery emergency could warrant that, especially when the fire lane and loading zone were wide open?

Oh well. At least they’re not shooting everybody, like the cops in Prince George’s County. And at least Cynthia McKinney didn’t hurt anybody.

Two Prince George’s County police officers shot and killed a shoplifting suspect, another officer accidentally shot his own mother, and a third officer shot a man in a grocery store — all within a few hours Sunday and Monday, police said.

Officials Officially Cross the Line [DCist] MORE »

So, um, other than the aforementioned “Atlanta Progressive News,” nobody seems to have picked up the story that McKinney plans to challenge the results of her primary loss in court. We are keeping our fingers crossed that this is because the Jewish media refuses to give her the attention she deserves and not because, you know, the whole thing was made up. MORE »

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Because we love you, here is the entirety of Cynthia McKinney singing along to Pink’s “Dear Mr. President.” While editing the clip, we were surprisingly moved.

Shortly thereafter (in a stunning reversal of our usual Saturday nights) came the post-tears brawling — after the jump, what video evidence there is thus far of the Cynthia McKinney boom mic beat-down. If this is the last we hear of her out here in Washington, she could not have picked a classier way to go — Joe, you could learn a little something.

McKinney Supporters, Media Scuffle [11Alive]
Earlier: McKinney Update: Fisticuffs!

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Hank Johnson may have won more “votes”, but Cynthia McKinney knows how to get more press, because if you get into an altercation with the media, you can pretty much guarantee that they’re going to report on it. Take notes, Mr. Johnson, take notes. MORE »

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• Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman lost the Democratic primary last night to Ned Lamont. He will run as a “petitioning Democrat,” which is a thing he made up. [NYT, WP]

• Representative Cynthia McKinney lost her primary runoff to Hank Johnson in Georgia, signalling the end of her vaunted “political machine.” [AJC, AJC]
• The White House will call on Congress to alter the War Crimes act to eliminate the threat of prosecution for “political appointees, CIA officers and former military personnel for humiliating or degrading war prisoners.” [WP]
• The Fed is done raising interest rates (for now). [NYT]
• Despite being forced to remain on the ballot, Tom DeLay will not seek reelection to Congress. [NYT]

Pictures: Getty Images.

Things sound great for Lamont, but administer salt in liberal doses. (1% of precints reporting: 57.9% to 42.1% for Ned)

Absentee ballots and turnout are both pro-Lamont, exit polling is closely-guarded, but people who know people who know people say it’s the same story.

(Hotline has McKinney down — WHERE WERE THE WONKETTE READERS?)

(rest of this mess now after the jump — relive the magic!)

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And boy, have we been missing out: MORE »