Tag Archives: culture wars

  Part 21: The Dumbino Theory

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War to cover that we’ll just have to wait another week while we get through some of the delightful proxy wars of the late 20th Century. And of course, let’s not forget to blame The Liberal Media for the sixties! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning…
  Part 20: More Red 'Bating

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read

Fasten your seatbelts, Time Tourists, because this week, our visit to the world as seen through a 10th-grade evangelical textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, will continue our whirlwind tour through the MADcap world of the Cold War (Spoiler: Reagan wins it through deficit spending and yelling at a wall). Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read…
  Part 19: Blecch in the USSR

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Protect Homeschooled Darlings From The Big Mean U.N.

Be of good cheer, intrepid Wonketteers! We are very nearly finished with our 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, which means that very soon, Saint Reagan and Jesus will come to take us home! (That, or we’ll delve into a sex ed book from the same publisher.) Last week, we polished off World War II, so this week, it’s time for the bestest clash of civilizations evar, the Cold War. So dust off your Civil Defense helmet, hunker down in your fallout shelter, and learn to love The Bomb! But first, a word about the United Nations, which is both a “colossal failure” and the “foundation for a totalitarian, one-world government.” Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Protect Homeschooled Darlings From The Big Mean U.N….
  Part 18: You Theocratic Bastard I Read Your Book!

Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Annexes The Sudetenland

This is another weird chapter in our fundamentalist textbook for 10th graders, World History and Cultures in Christian Perspective. Where much of the book emphasizes how the world has gone wrong by abandoning God, theological matters are almost wholly absent from the chapter on World War II. The editors don’t even say that God wanted America to win! For the most part, World History gives us a chronological account of WW II that’s very similar to what you might find in a secular textbook. Except, you know, for the parts about how Germans’ acceptance of the theory of evolution made Hitler inevitable. Read more on Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Annexes The Sudetenland…
  Part 17: Tell Me About the Free Market George

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Read In Your Hooverville Homeschool

As we’ve noted previously, our 10th-grade Christianist textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, is a weird patchwork of preaching and history as filtered through late-Reagan-era rightwing politics. This is especially noticeable in the chapter “20th Century Liberalism: Retreat from Responsibility and Authority” which we wrap up this week. The God Stuff in this chapter is concentrated in sections we’ve already covered, starting with attacks on science, then moving on to the pernicious secular humanist agenda of philosophy and education and eventually finding good guys and bad guys in the arts. By the time we get to the economic boom and crash of the 1920s and 30s, the editors almost seem to have run out of preaching — at least about God. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Read In Your Hooverville Homeschool…
  What's a Meta For?

Rhode Island Prof Learns Only Wingnuts Allowed To Use Violent Metaphors

[Updated 12/22/12; see end] So, after the Newtown massacre last Friday, Erik Loomis, a University of Rhode Island history professor, got on the Twitter Machine and expressed the sort of outrage that a lot of people were feeling that day toward the Gun Lobby and its chief: I was heartbroken in the first 20 mass murders. Now I want Wayne LaPierre’s head on a stick. On the internet, this sort of comment is pretty much what you call “mild.” However, Erik Loomis is not merely an academic; he is also a blogger at Lawyers, Guns & Money, and so he is someone whose comments get noticed in the Angersphere. The Daily Caller, for instance, said that Loomis “unleashed a flurry of profanity-ridden tweets demanding death for National Rifle Association executive Wayne LaPierre.” Other wingnuts soon followed in accusing Loomis of making “death threats” against LaPierre, including a genius whose blog breathlessly announced Professor calls for assassination of NRA CEO. And so, it only stands to reason that campus and state police were sent to meet with Loomis after they received multiple reports that he had made death threats; eventually, Loomis began receiving actual death threats of the “I am going to kill you” rather than the metaphorical variety. The university is also receiving many calls and emails calling for Loomis to lose his job — he is not yet tenured. But remember, he started it. Read more on Rhode Island Prof Learns Only Wingnuts Allowed To Use Violent Metaphors…
  Stick a Bork in Him He's Done

Robert Bork Finds Out if God Is A Strict Constructionist

Robert Bork, the partisan hack who finished carrying out Richard Nixon’s “Saturday Night Massacre” in 1973 (after two other men with actual character resigned rather than cooperate), helped to make the intellectually bankrupt notion of Constitutional “originalism” a staple of mainstream conservatism, and went on to fail to win confirmation to the Supreme Court, has died at the age of 85. According to leading experts, the 1987 Senate hearings on Bork’s confirmation marked the crucial point at which modern American political discourse began to irreversibly go into the shitter. Read more on Robert Bork Finds Out if God Is A Strict Constructionist…
  This Way To the Ovens

Plucky Girl Convinces Hasbro To Market Easy Bake Oven To Boys, Maybe Destroys American Manhood

You may have heard about this when it popped up a few weeks back: 13 year old McKenna Pope of Garfield, New Jersey, started a petition on Change.org calling on Hasbro to change its marketing for the Easy Bake Oven to make the product appealing to both boys and girls. She also made the video above, in which she explains her campaign was motivated by her 4-year-old brother saying he’d like to make half-baked dough messes, but that since Easy Bake is really “for girls,” no maybe not. In a development that surprised absolutely no one, the story immediately became fodder for culture warfare, with progressives nodding approvingly at the young activist and conservatives either bemoaning the story as part of the war on masculinity or huffing that everyone knows that all great chefs are MEN anyway. So now, Hasbro has announced that it will indeed be introducing a redesigned Easy Bake Oven next summer, with packaging and advertising that features both girls and boys. Hasbro invited McKenna and her family to their Pawtucket, Rhode Island, headquarters to see the new silver and black toy and meet with the toy’s marketing team. Yay! Read more on Plucky Girl Convinces Hasbro To Market Easy Bake Oven To Boys, Maybe Destroys American Manhood…
  Part 16: Are You My Dada?

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That May Not Know About Art, But Knows What God Likes

It’s Art Depreciation Day for Homeschoolers, as we learn from our 10th-Grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. After polishing off the dangerous liberal fads of “philosphy” and “education” last week, we’re now ready to learn all about how godless liberals tried to wreck culture through their pernicious effects on the arts! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That May Not Know About Art, But Knows What God Likes…
  Part 15: Scary Thinkers Whose Books Are Dangerous (Or Would Be If Anyone Still Read)

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Ward Off Dangerous Modern Thinking

Greetings, Heathens! Welcome to another voyage into Homeschool America, via our 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures in Christian Perspective, and its staunch opposition to anything ungodly, and of course to most of the modern era. Last week, we learned why science is not really scientific (because no Jebus, duh); this week, we’ll see just how many other aspects of modern culture can be demonized in a few short pages! Let’s start with philosophy! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Ward Off Dangerous Modern Thinking…
  If 'Intelligent Design' Evolved From Creationism Then Why Are There Still Creationists?

Indiana Wingnut Will Require Teachers To Prove Everything They Say Is True

Even if they never do any real science or win any court cases in favor of their position, you kind of have to give creationists credit for occasional creativity. Sure, it’s the pathetic kind of creativity that you’d expect from a kid who’s trying for the seventeenth time this year to get out of an assignment, but it is, nonetheless, inventive. The most recent legislative heir to Arnold Horshack is Indiana state Sen. Dennis Kruse (R-Olduvai Gorge), who last year introduced a bill that would require public schools to teach creationism (it was eventually defeated), and who earlier in the current session suggested he might introduce a bill written by the creationist-oriented Discovery Institute. But apparently, someone pointed out to him that school districts and states have lost every single lawsuit aimed at suggesting creationism or “intelligent design” be taught as actual science, so he has decided to approach the issue from a new, creative angle! Kruse’s new proposal, which he calls “truth in education,” would merely require teachers “to provide evidence if students challenge their science lessons.” How could anyone possibly object to that? All it would mean is that any time a kid wants to completely derail a lesson, they could say “prove it.” This is possibly the first time that the tactics of internet trolls could be enshrined in education policy. Read more on Indiana Wingnut Will Require Teachers To Prove Everything They Say Is True…
  Do You Want Radio Raheem in the State Department?

Scary Black Lady Susan Rice Once Said That White Children Should Be Forced To Learn Of Blacks’ Existence

In an article that proves conclusively that U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice is, in fact, the scariest Black Power Radical who ever scared a white person on the internet (at least since that one terrifying door-opening man in Philadelphia on election day), the Daily Caller has a bombshell exposé that tears the lid off Rice’s involvement in writing a 1986 book that advocated a radical socialist agenda to teach black history in our nation’s schools. Even to white children!!!! Seriously, that’s in the actual headline: “Susan Rice in 1986 book: Make white students learn black history” Sure. Go ahead and shock us, Daily Caller guy Charles C. Johnson! Read more on Scary Black Lady Susan Rice Once Said That White Children Should Be Forced To Learn Of Blacks’ Existence…
  And What About All Those Red Indians?

No, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Triumph Over Socialism: Your Tofurkey Warblog

It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You serve Susan Stamberg’s socialist NPR cranberry relish, and your Teabagger brother-in-law recites how the settlers of Plymouth Plantation nearly starved because they had socialism forced upon them, but finally prospered after they became capitalists. Here’s a fairly typical version of the story that was emailed to our Wonkette tip line; other versions are promoted by ugly bag of mostly lipids Rush Limbaugh and by the now-departing Rep. Todd Akin (R-Shut Down). Happily, there are a couple of good debunkings of this idiocy, although they probably won’t carry much weight with teahadis, since they come from the radical communist New York Times and the Marxist-Trotskyist-Muslim-Gangnam-Style Right Wing Watch. Should culture war break out around the dinner table, you may just want to say you got your rebuttals from Paul Harvey. Then when they go to look it up on their smartphone, you can spill gravy on it. Be sure to apologize. (We got that tactic from Saul Alinsky.) Read more on No, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Triumph Over Socialism: Your Tofurkey Warblog…
  Part 10: Did We Mention That They Really Don't Like Marx?

Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses

Welcome, Comrades! We’re still making our way through the “we really don’t like communism” chapter of our 10th-grade textbook for Christian schools, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. So pour a nice glass of Victory Gin, hum the Internationale, and we’ll visit History’s Greatest Monsters, your Godless Commies. Now, last week, we found out that communism is just the worst thing ever! This week, we learn that your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason the textbook wants to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. It’s really sort of endearing just how much the editors want to make clear that Karl Marx was a bad, bad man motivated by, as they put it, “a violent hatred for God and humanity.” Because really, isn’t the study of history primarily about identifying who the Good Guys were and proving that the Bad Guys were cartoon supervillains? Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses…
  intolerable acts

Wingnut Reverend Teaches Us 3 Words Wrecking US Amercia: Tolerance, Diversity, & … Uh, Oops!

You know what we don’t have enough of in our great modern American U.S. society of today? FEAR. Not only is Sesame Street indoctrinating children with the dangerous notion that they shouldn’t fear monsters, the poor dears are also being told, over and over again, that they have to “get along” with “others.” Well by golly, Rev. Michael P. Orsi has had about as much of this nonsense as he can take (we think maybe he saw a white dude holding hands with an Ay-rab dude, or maybe it was a Messican, who can tell?), and he wants to set us straight (no pun intended) about a thing or three: Read more on Wingnut Reverend Teaches Us 3 Words Wrecking US Amercia: Tolerance, Diversity, & … Uh, Oops!…
  Part 9: Marxy Marx & the Fundie Bunch

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children

So now that we’re well into the nineteenth century with our hilarious 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, we’re getting to some of the pivotal Bad Guys from the editors’ closetful of nightmare boogiemen. Last week it was Charles Darwin and a collection of terrifying Victorian philosophers who advocated such radical notions as benevolence to the poors. This week, we’ll be tackling the monster that scares the editors more than science, maybe even more than the Pope: Godless Communism! And by this, we mean actual communism, not just all of the little bits of social reform that these nimrods also like to call “communism.” It is worth noting that, by the time this edition of the textbook was published, in 1997, the USSR and Eastern Bloc had already fallen, China’s economy was solidly capitalist, and the remaining countries that could be called “communist” could be counted on one hand. So of course, World History presents communism as the single greatest threat to freedom in the world, because after all, the UN still exists. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children…
  Part 8: Science Makes Everything Much Worse

Sundays With The Christianists: With This ‘World History’ Textbook, Your Homeschooled Babbies Will Not Evolve

It’s time for another visit to the funhouse mirror held up to history by our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. If the Church of Rome was the textbook’s designated Big Bad for the period from Constantine through the Reformation, then history’s other greatest monster is Charles Darwin, who along with Karl Marx, provides the heresies against which World History will kick for most of the modern era. Buckle up, gentle readers — we’re headed for a Culture War zone. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: With This ‘World History’ Textbook, Your Homeschooled Babbies Will Not Evolve…
  Let God Sort 'em Out

Gentleman in Virginia Romney Office Has Novel Idea For Welfare Reform: Execute ‘Illegitimate’ Parents, Adopt Out Their Kids

Clifford Russell, a nice man working in the Mitt Romney campaign office in Bedford, Virginia, has a plan to reduce this awful entitlement culture that we have here in US Amercia. During a visit from freelance writer Christopher D Cook., Mr. Russell expounded on a number of important issues, proclaiming that global warming is “a total fiction,” that the NAACP is “the most racist organization in America,” that “Everyone in Iraq under Hussein was a terrorist,” and of course that the best way to address poverty would be … well, let’s let Clifford Russell speak for himself, with Cook offering him chances to walk back or clarify his views: Read more on Gentleman in Virginia Romney Office Has Novel Idea For Welfare Reform: Execute ‘Illegitimate’ Parents, Adopt Out Their Kids…
  Part 6: How I Learned to Love the Dark Satanic Mills

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schooled Child Laborers

Greetings, intrepid Temps-Voyageurs! Let us not tarry, for there is much to explore in this quaint and curious volume for Christianist 10th-graders, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. Last week, we finally reached the founding of the USA, that pivotal moment when the Founders decided which parts of the Bible to include in the Constitution. (To be fair, World History doesn’t actually say that, limiting itself to the far more cautious “the hand of God was clearly visible in the framing of the Constitution.”) Today, we visit the exciting world of the Industrial Revolution, which you may remember was that time during the Olympics Opening Ceremonies when chimneys came out of the floor and Kenneth Branagh looked like Abe Lincoln but was actually the Great Industrialist Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Now, let’s be off, and mind you don’t tread on any butterflies. (Ha-ha, that is a joke — evolution is not real, so stomp as many as you wish!) Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schooled Child Laborers…
  Jesus these people

Hero Rep. Paul Broun Takes Bible-Based Stand Against Hell-Spawned Lies of ‘Science’

Speaking in front of a wall of glassy-eyed dead deer to an audience of glassy-eyed Christians at last month’s 2012 Sportsman’s Banquet at Hartwell, GA’s Liberty Baptist Church, serial Obama-speech-boycotter Rep. Paul Broun (R-JesusJesusJesusland) single-handedly disproved evolution and the Big Bang, and embryology, for good measure, revealing that they are “lies straight from the pit of Hell.” Read more on Hero Rep. Paul Broun Takes Bible-Based Stand Against Hell-Spawned Lies of ‘Science’…
  thou shalt not publish thy editor's wife

Washington Post’s Sally Quinn Does Magick, Knows God Loves Mitt Romney

Vapid publisher’s spouse and party-planning expert Sally Quinn has heaved up another of her insightful “On Faith” columns. This is a person who has in the past used her column to explore the spiritual dilemmas involved in choosing a Dancing With the Stars victor; explaining that 50 Shades of Grey actually reflects a “religious phenomenon” (holy fuck!); oh, and by the way, no big deal, told a panel this week that she is a witch (we can hardly wait to see what the Maine GOP thinks of that!). So we were not expecting Deep Thought; but this time she’s gone especially shallow: When Mitt Romney mentioned the “Creator” in the debate Wednesday, he owned it. “We’re all children of the same God,” he said. That’s about 85 percent of the country he was talking to. That should have been President Obama’s constituency but he let Romney have it as he let Romney have the debate. We were not aware that it was actually possible to call dibs on The Almighty, but Mitt apparently did indeed own that round, and Obama compounded his error by missing the chance to call “shotgun.” Read more on Washington Post’s Sally Quinn Does Magick, Knows God Loves Mitt Romney…
  Today's False Equivalency Update

‘The Left’ Is Anti-Science Because Of Hippies, Says New Dumb Book

Hey, there, fellow leftists! Hope you’re all having a great day eating organic arugula, liberating lab animals from a university research facility, and withholding your children from getting vaccinated! Because it turns out that, despite the fairly well-documented dislike of science facts by many on the right, it’s really libruls who hate science, as the Moonie Times discovered when it spoke to Dr. Alex Berezow, a microbiologist and science blogger who just happens to have co-authored a book on that very subject, Science Left Behind: Feel-Good Fallacies and the Rise of the Anti-Scientific Left. It’s apparently a kind of reply to Chris Mooney’s 2006 The Republican War on Science; we will happily admit to not having read either one. So is this another case of Both Sides Do It, then? Let us “examine” the “evidence” and “form” a “conclusion”! Read more on ‘The Left’ Is Anti-Science Because Of Hippies, Says New Dumb Book…