Tag Archives: culture war

  Game Over Man! GAME OVER!!

NRO Has Smart Plan To Save America: Raze The Universities & Re-Educate All People In Glasses

Some people simply do not handle losing very well. Unable to accept that the electoral system in their beloved Constitution could possibly allow those other people to win, they suggest that maybe we need a revolution, or that America died and God’s wrath is at hand, or that maybe rassenfracken pimps whores welfare brats makin’ us just dang ol’ soulless spiritual suicide, man, tellyawhut man, dang ol’ shiiiiiiit. (Also, thanks for the pageviews, Reddit!) The grownups in the spurned party, on the other hand, faced the day after the election by asking themselves the Hard Questions, like “what aspects of our agenda may have proven unpopular with the electorate?” or “how might we best adjust our message to meet a changing electoral landscape?” Or, if they’re the NRO’s David Gelertner, they might ask, “Where did all these degenerate communist morans come from? Must be the colleges! They’re full of radicals! Let’s root out the colleges!” Read more on NRO Has Smart Plan To Save America: Raze The Universities & Re-Educate All People In Glasses…
  Sheeple Awakened By Dog Whistles

Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All

As we all know, there are no racists in the Republican party, because Martin Luther King was a Republican and Robert Byrd was at one time in the Klan, and also nothing changed in either party after the passage of the Civil Right Act of 1964 and the Voting Right Acts of 1965. Nevertheless, there is still a perception out there that some Republicans are occasionally just a teensy bit racist for some reason. This is actually due entirely to hyper-sensitive PC Liberals having hissy fits over nothing, and is mostly the result of libruls infiltrating Republican events to display racist messages. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All…
  Part 7: All About The Empire -- But not a single Star Wars reference

Sundays With The Christianists: The Sun Never Sets On This ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schoolers

Huzzah! We’ve reached the Victorian Era in our 10th-grade World History textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. Funny how so much of the best world history in this book just happens to be British history, isn’t it? We’ll assume this is simple Anglophilia on the part of the editors, with no theological implications, but who knows! Last week we covered the happy-go-lucky job creators of the Industrial Revolution, and this week, it’s on to other notable achievements of Victorian England, such as Victoria herself, who was the Bestest Monarch Evar, and Imperialism, which brought the blessings of civilzation and the Gospel to undeserving savages around the world. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: The Sun Never Sets On This ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schoolers…
  Renegade Nuns On Wheels

Wacky Ohio Nuns’ Video Says Women Who Use Contraceptives Make Men Gay

The “Children of Mary,” a group of nuns in Ohio, has released a video that is a kind of one-stop shopping trip for insane ideas about birth control. If you can’t bring yourself to waste 13 minutes of your life watching it (and we do not blame you at all if you decide to skip it), here are the main points: Read more on Wacky Ohio Nuns’ Video Says Women Who Use Contraceptives Make Men Gay…
  Part 5: England Narrowly Escapes the Age of Reason

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams

Charge up your Flux Capacitors, folks! It’s time for our weekly foray into the past — or at least, the past as it happened in the fevered imaginations of fundamentalist Christians. Our text is again World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective (A Beka Book, 1997). This book does, in its tendentious way, present mostly-factual history. You actually could learn a lot about world history from World History, even if you dismiss the Creationist nonsense, the relentless anti-Catholicism, and the obsession with connecting historical events to the ideological hobby-horses of the modern American religious right. We only focus on the craziest stuff here in our Sunday series. On the other hand, there’s also been enough crazy for five posts so far, and we’re only up to the 18th century. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams…
  This Blog Irks Fascists

It’s Woody Guthrie’s 100th Birthday, Comrades! Let’s Have A Sing-Along!

You may have noticed, a couple weeks ago, that Google’s “doodle” for Independence Day was a tribute to Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land.” Lord knows the Wingnutosphere noticed; where a sane person would stick to objective facts and condemn the doodle for its excessively busy, icepick-to-the-visual-cortex graphic design, Big Government’s perpetually Red-‘bating Ben Shapiro decided to go full Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, pointing and shrieking at the doodle’s “communist-oriented” theme and the allegedly America-hating sentiments of the song’s original 1944 lyrics: Read more on It’s Woody Guthrie’s 100th Birthday, Comrades! Let’s Have A Sing-Along!…
  A Duncedom of Confederates

Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools

Hooray! The Texas GOP has published its 2012 platform! It’s a bonanza for list-makers, from Think Progress to Comedy Central, because it’s just THAT FULL of crazy. It’s a veritable Boffo’s Joke Emporium Grab-Bag of lunacy: we’ve got pledges to repeal the 1965 Voter [sic] Rights Act, to stop the womenfolk from doing ungodly things with their sinful ladyparts, and to keep the UN from tainting the water supply with homosexual Kenyan-born Day-After Pills. But the awesomest part of the platform is to be found in the section on Edumacation. No, it’s not the ringing endorsement of corporal punishment, nor is it the predictable support for promoting freedom by forcing children to pledge allegiance to both the US and Texas flags. Heck, it’s not even the subtle shift from an open “Cdesign proponentsist” agenda to a pseudo-neutral call for students to be able to answer “God Did It” on a biology test “without fear of retribution or discrimination,” or even the plan to base all US History lessons on the art of John McNaughton. Nope, the real zinger of the 2012 GOP platform is what appears to be a declaration of war on rational thought itself: We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority. Read more on Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools…
  Hopped Up On Goofballs!

Parents! Your Teen May Be Using Drugs To Qualify For An Elite Party School

Another in an apparently never-ending series of special guest bloogs from DoktorZoom. Hey, Mommy-Blog readers! Just when you thought you’d gotten over that Mother’s Day story about child psychopaths, New York Times reporter Alan Schwarz brings us a new thing for parents to be worried about: drug-addled teenagers! But these are not the hop-headed angel-dusting teenagers of old ABC Afterschool Specials, getting “wasted” on “Alley Juice,” “Mary Jane,” “Special K,” “Donkey Dust,” “Meow-Meow,” “Peruvian Nose Candy,” or “Zumba.” No, the new threat to health and home is posed by high-achieving high-schoolers abusing stimulants intended for treating ADHD, not to get high, but to give them an edge in their academic pursuits: At high schools across the United States, pressure over grades and competition for college admissions are encouraging students to abuse prescription stimulants, according to interviews with students, parents and doctors. Pills that have been a staple in some college and graduate school circles are going from rare to routine in many academically competitive high schools, where teenagers say they get them from friends, buy them from student dealers or fake symptoms to their parents and doctors to get prescriptions. But in their zeal to get a head start in the academic rat race, these teens risk running afoul of drug laws, ruining their health, becoming addicted to harder drugs, and maybe even gaining admission to a highly selective university, where they may also read books and be turned against Jesus! Read more on Parents! Your Teen May Be Using Drugs To Qualify For An Elite Party School…
  day of infamy squared

Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day

Before “Pearl Harbor” was reduced to a three-hour reel of explosions starring overpriced wooden puppet Ben Affleck, it was a place where a bunch of American soldiers were attacked by a bunch of Japanese soldiers these seventy years ago today. A Day of Infamy, if you will. You may remember from every commemorative evening news broadcast since then that Americans generally avoid doing anything Asian-sounding on this day, to honor the fallen and to keep our wounds fresh. This year, though, you can count out those Obama daughters and their fancy-schmancy private school to have other plans. America-hating plans! Read more on Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day… Read more on Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day…
  america's great artists

Schmaltz Artist Pulls American Jesus Prints From ‘Liberal’ BYU Shop

Did you hear about liberal hate site “Groupon” sponsoring the racist Donald Trump’s racism? Groupon, you’re fired! What’s next? How about those liberals at the Mormon university? Yeah, how about them? A guy who makes prints of Jesus and the GOP Presidents and the Troops has pulled his precious artworks from the Mormon Church-owned Brigham Young University bookstore because … liberals? Yes. They were too liberal. So now you have to get this kind of art the same way everybody else does: by searching “Never Forget” on Google Images. Read more on Schmaltz Artist Pulls American Jesus Prints From ‘Liberal’ BYU Shop…
  caving in

That Naked Christian Gal Has Been Naked Seven Other Times

We do not understand why so many of you send us rabid, furious e-mails demanding that we post about the naked lady Carrie Prejean, who has nothing to do with politics, and brings out the worst behavior on both sides of the Culture Wars. But whatever, ha ha ha ha ha ha, she’s naked again: “Now a RadarOnline.com investigation has uncovered that there are SEVEN more ‘biggest mistakes’ of her life – all of them solo performances, just like the one sex tape that the religious beauty queen has admitted to. And there are 30 photos of Carrie, most topless, some showing everything, and most taken by Carrie using her reflection in a mirror.” [RADAR via Balloon Juice] Read more on That Naked Christian Gal Has Been Naked Seven Other Times…
 

Jean Schmidt’s Evil Twin Wants to Give You $500

As a public service to our readers in Ohio, if your funds are a little low at the moment, you might want to lend a hand to Jennifer Black, better known as Congressthing Jean Schmidt’s evil twin. And it’s easy! All you have to do is find those meanies who keep defacing and/or destroying the pro-life signs on the grounds of the no-doubt ultraswanky Schmidt family farm. Heck, that doesn’t sound very hard: a couple of nights hiding in a field with a shotgun for five franklins? It’s like shooting cultural warrior fish in a barrel. And the opportunity to stand that close to Jean Schmidt’s shared gene pool? Heck, we’d do that for free. Read more on Jean Schmidt’s Evil Twin Wants to Give You $500…
 

Metro Section: It’s The Grit That Makes It Good

* The mumbled threats and nonsensical ramblings of crackhead love. [vividblurry] * We’ll take “Shithole American cities” for $300, Alex. [Rebuilding Place in the Urban Space] * A walking stereotype is one thing, but a walking stereotype from the “Good Times” era is entirely another. [Soulful of Thoughts] Read more on Metro Section: It’s The Grit That Makes It Good…
 

Don’t They Have Anything Better To Do in South Carolina?

Intentionally or not, the AP article is full of double entendres. Here’s a quote from sex shop employee Wanda Gillespie (parentheses courtesy of the AP): “I know of multiple marriages that sex toys have sold because some people need that. The people who are riding us (the adult novelty industry) so hard are probably at home buying it….” Read more on Don’t They Have Anything Better To Do in South Carolina?…
 

Daily Briefing: ‘The Real Wedge’

* White House shake-up is directed at the midterm elections; Bolten is following a five-point plan that includes an “extremely visible enforcement crackdown at the Mexican border.” Bush advisor: “If we don’t keep Congress, there won’t be a legacy.” [Time] * Osama Bin Laden releases new audio tape; analyst says intention is to provide a global posture for al Qaeda: “Bin Laden is a master craftsman at recognizing issues and knowing how to exploit these issues for his own purposes. He’s trying to enlarge the global conflict and is trying to incite and anger the Muslim world against the West.” [WP] * Eight American troops have been killed over the past two days in Iraq; April will likely be the deadliest month this year. [AP] * West Wing is said to feel “really weird right now” because “people are worried about their jobs,” says a senior official; aides “are on edge.” Mark McKinnon: “Karl has more bandwidth than anyone on the planet, but with the elections coming up, we have to make sure he has the time to concentrate on the big message.” Nicole Wallace on Bolten: “It was nice to cut right to the chase. He set a very honest and direct tone. It was kind of, ‘We’re going to get through all this together, and we need to step it up.'” [Newsweek, NYT] * White turnout in the New Orleans mayoral election was double the norm; Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu could be the city’s first white mayor in nearly three decades. [NYT, WP] * CIA is cracking down on leaks by subjecting dozens of employees to polygraph tests; top Democrats suggest a double standard exists about leaking for political purposes. [NYT, WP] * Los Angeles Times editorial board calls for Bush to boot Cheney: “Having changed his tune, the president should also think about changing the company he keeps — big time, as Dick Cheney would say.” [LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: ‘The Real Wedge’…
 

Where’s the Outrage?

At last, World magazine gets to the root of the problem : They’re actually characterizing the opposition’s view, but we think there’s a certain amount of projection involved… Just ban the whole culture [World Magazine] Read more on Where’s the Outrage?…
 

Panda-Matrimonium!

Many thanks to Thailand for being the first country to take steps against the epidemic of out-of-wedlock panda births. The Thai zoo’s two pandas are presumed to start mating soon, “But the zoo wanted them to be married first.” Of course. Single-panda motherhood is well known to be the root cause of rising panda unemployment and high crime rates in panda neighborhoods. Did you know that in America, there are more pandas in zoos than in college? Look at what’s going on with our own poor bastard Butterstick: Has a deadbeat dad living off the state and he’s an immigrant whose been here for ten years and he still doesn’t speak English. Without a traditional family, a young panda will look elsewhere for their role models, and, you know, recruiting Butterstick is probably right at the top of the gay penguin agenda. Read more on Panda-Matrimonium!…
 

TV Sex Rated

The Kaiser Family Foundation has just released a study on depictions and references to sex in television; they show that “70% of shows had some sexual content, averaging 5 sex scenes per hour.” Jesus. No wonder my Tivo thinks I’m gay. You know, comparatively. But hold on: “The study counts as a sex scene talking about it, kissing and fondling, and intercourse when those are the emphasis of a scene.” Well, if you count talking about it… I should be making a lot more money. Read more on TV Sex Rated…
 

Equal Work for Equal Pay

The Washington Post reports today: Slightly more than half of American teenagers ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government. Maybe a woman can be president after all! Read more on Equal Work for Equal Pay…
 

CPAC of the South

Today, the New York Times investigates the Christian conservatives’ fifth column: Penguins. Turns out conservatives have become unlikely champions of the documentary “March of the Penguins,” saying, among other things, that the film promotes monogamy and family values. Clearly, no one has told them about the gay penguins (of course, they choose to be gay). Says one minister: Read more on CPAC of the South…