Tag Archives: culture war

  Q: Are We Not Men? A: We are DEVO

Equivalencies: NOLA School District Embraces Evolution; Tenn. Preacher Says It Caused School Shootings

In the one step forward, one step back department, we have the heartening news that the school board for Orleans Parish, Louisiana, has voted to explicitly bar schools from teaching creationism or adopting “revisionist” history standards. On the other hand, a Tennessee pastor told his church last Sunday that mass shootings are the inevitable result of “government schools” which are nothing more than “mind-control centers” teaching little more than “junk about evolution” and “how to be a homo.” Still, the pastor is not (yet) running a school district, so maybe America came out slightly ahead on this one. Read more on Equivalencies: NOLA School District Embraces Evolution; Tenn. Preacher Says It Caused School Shootings…
  Remember the Allah-Mo!

Investigation Looks for ‘Muslim Bias’ in Texas Schools, Finds Christian Bias Instead (So It’s Not Biased, Of Course)

Anyone who thinks that school districts aren’t responsive to community concerns should talk to district and school board members of the Irving, Texas, Independent School District. When they received a clearly insane chain email claiming that a curriculum used in the schools was “INDOCTRINATING ISLAM,” they didn’t just delete it and go back to looking at porn and forwarding jokes about Barack Obama, no siree — they promptly demanded an investigation to see if their textbooks really were packed full of Islamist propaganda. You will be relieved to know that a 72-page report by the organization that provides the curriculum to the schools found that, instead of Muslim bias, the curriculum is actually far more biased toward Christianity, just the way Jesus and Thomas Jefferson wanted it to be. Read more on Investigation Looks for ‘Muslim Bias’ in Texas Schools, Finds Christian Bias Instead (So It’s Not Biased, Of Course)…
  Part 13: A Perfectly Calm Discussion Of Why Liberals Are Pure Evil

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Rescue Your Homeschooled Child From The Modern Age

Pop quiz, everyone! It’s a review question from Chapter 24 of our 10th-grade Christianist textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective: “What phenomenon at the beginning of the 20th century threatened to destroy the roots of Western civilization?” OK, pencils down! Anyone care to share your answer? No, it is not “buttsex,” and for that you can stay after class and muck out the Pony stalls. The correct answer, of course, is “Liberalism.” We will give partial credit for “Marxism,” because same difference. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Rescue Your Homeschooled Child From The Modern Age…
  Getting Medieval

Things You Didn’t Know You Needed To Worry About: Getting Raped By Demons

You may have been under the impression that when Christianists think about rape, they mostly think about how women are either asking for it by not screaming quite loudly enough or dressing like the sluts that everyone knows they are, or lying about it so they can murder a babby, or maybe using it as the first metaphor that comes to mind for everything that happens, ever. But you would be incorrect! It turns out that at least some members of the wingnut beliefosphere are actually concerned about real, genuine rapey-rape of the sort that happens when a demon from hell literally forces itself sexually upon a human being. This is a topic that Susan Brownmiller never addressed, which just goes to show how out of touch the radical feminists are. This rather breathless piece in “CharismaMagazine” warns, “As bizarre as it sounds, those who minister to people in occult bondage say it’s more common than you think.” So apparently the reason this demon-rape epidemic has gone underreported is that no one was asking the experts. Read more on Things You Didn’t Know You Needed To Worry About: Getting Raped By Demons…
  what could go wrong?

Sad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom

Wonkette fan favorite Bradlee Dean is back at it with his tireless campaign to save the youths. Why do we need Michele Bachmann BFF Bradlee Dean more than ever? Because freedom needs brush fires, duh: Need for the Program: It is ever more urgent to use the internet to get our message out, since this is where people hang out, especially the young. Think of how many people we can reach! It does not take an overwhelming majority to reform society. It only takes an irate tireless minority setting brush fires of freedom everywhere! Read more on Sad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom…
  Mencken Was Right

Charlotte Allen’s Startling Insight: Lots Of Voters Are Idiots, So Sarah Palin 2016

Charlotte Allen, the Independent Women’s Forum writer who’s mostly known for a notorious 2008 column about how silly women just couldn’t help voting for Barry Obama because women are just such dumbbunnies, has “a suggestion for cutting short the GOP angst” in the wake of Obama’s reelection: The Republicans should just go ahead and give Sarah Palin the 2016 nomination right now. She’s so certain of the self-evident wisdom of this recommendation that she immediately follows it with “You think I’m joking? Think again.” OK! We find your ideas intriguing! Tell us more! Also, do you have a newsletter? Read more on Charlotte Allen’s Startling Insight: Lots Of Voters Are Idiots, So Sarah Palin 2016…
  Whine and Jesus Party

A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)

As we have already pretty much established, America is Over Now, so all that’s left is just sitting around and waiting for the last few remaining embers of Freedom to burn out. If we’re really lucky, the Ancient Mayans or Space Jebus will just smash the Earth and be done with it. So let us see what further Elevated Whining there is to review. To start with, there’s Orson Scott Card, the Mormon propagandist / anti-ghey crusader / science fiction writer who wrote one pretty good novel (OK, and his early stories were often quite nice, too) but has of late declined into a sad, right-wing parody of himself. He has discovered the truly perfidious villains responsible for the reelection of Barack Hussein Obama. You will be astonished to know that it’s all the fault of the Liberal Media! Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)…
  Game Over Man! GAME OVER!!

NRO Has Smart Plan To Save America: Raze The Universities & Re-Educate All People In Glasses

Some people simply do not handle losing very well. Unable to accept that the electoral system in their beloved Constitution could possibly allow those other people to win, they suggest that maybe we need a revolution, or that America died and God’s wrath is at hand, or that maybe rassenfracken pimps whores welfare brats makin’ us just dang ol’ soulless spiritual suicide, man, tellyawhut man, dang ol’ shiiiiiiit. (Also, thanks for the pageviews, Reddit!) The grownups in the spurned party, on the other hand, faced the day after the election by asking themselves the Hard Questions, like “what aspects of our agenda may have proven unpopular with the electorate?” or “how might we best adjust our message to meet a changing electoral landscape?” Or, if they’re the NRO’s David Gelertner, they might ask, “Where did all these degenerate communist morans come from? Must be the colleges! They’re full of radicals! Let’s root out the colleges!” Read more on NRO Has Smart Plan To Save America: Raze The Universities & Re-Educate All People In Glasses…
  Sheeple Awakened By Dog Whistles

Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All

As we all know, there are no racists in the Republican party, because Martin Luther King was a Republican and Robert Byrd was at one time in the Klan, and also nothing changed in either party after the passage of the Civil Right Act of 1964 and the Voting Right Acts of 1965. Nevertheless, there is still a perception out there that some Republicans are occasionally just a teensy bit racist for some reason. This is actually due entirely to hyper-sensitive PC Liberals having hissy fits over nothing, and is mostly the result of libruls infiltrating Republican events to display racist messages. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All…
  Part 7: All About The Empire -- But not a single Star Wars reference

Sundays With The Christianists: The Sun Never Sets On This ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schoolers

Huzzah! We’ve reached the Victorian Era in our 10th-grade World History textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. Funny how so much of the best world history in this book just happens to be British history, isn’t it? We’ll assume this is simple Anglophilia on the part of the editors, with no theological implications, but who knows! Last week we covered the happy-go-lucky job creators of the Industrial Revolution, and this week, it’s on to other notable achievements of Victorian England, such as Victoria herself, who was the Bestest Monarch Evar, and Imperialism, which brought the blessings of civilzation and the Gospel to undeserving savages around the world. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: The Sun Never Sets On This ‘World History’ Textbook For Home-Schoolers…
  Renegade Nuns On Wheels

Wacky Ohio Nuns’ Video Says Women Who Use Contraceptives Make Men Gay

The “Children of Mary,” a group of nuns in Ohio, has released a video that is a kind of one-stop shopping trip for insane ideas about birth control. If you can’t bring yourself to waste 13 minutes of your life watching it (and we do not blame you at all if you decide to skip it), here are the main points: Read more on Wacky Ohio Nuns’ Video Says Women Who Use Contraceptives Make Men Gay…
  Part 5: England Narrowly Escapes the Age of Reason

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams

Charge up your Flux Capacitors, folks! It’s time for our weekly foray into the past — or at least, the past as it happened in the fevered imaginations of fundamentalist Christians. Our text is again World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective (A Beka Book, 1997). This book does, in its tendentious way, present mostly-factual history. You actually could learn a lot about world history from World History, even if you dismiss the Creationist nonsense, the relentless anti-Catholicism, and the obsession with connecting historical events to the ideological hobby-horses of the modern American religious right. We only focus on the craziest stuff here in our Sunday series. On the other hand, there’s also been enough crazy for five posts so far, and we’re only up to the 18th century. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams…
  This Blog Irks Fascists

It’s Woody Guthrie’s 100th Birthday, Comrades! Let’s Have A Sing-Along!

You may have noticed, a couple weeks ago, that Google’s “doodle” for Independence Day was a tribute to Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land.” Lord knows the Wingnutosphere noticed; where a sane person would stick to objective facts and condemn the doodle for its excessively busy, icepick-to-the-visual-cortex graphic design, Big Government’s perpetually Red-‘bating Ben Shapiro decided to go full Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, pointing and shrieking at the doodle’s “communist-oriented” theme and the allegedly America-hating sentiments of the song’s original 1944 lyrics: Read more on It’s Woody Guthrie’s 100th Birthday, Comrades! Let’s Have A Sing-Along!…
  A Duncedom of Confederates

Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools

Hooray! The Texas GOP has published its 2012 platform! It’s a bonanza for list-makers, from Think Progress to Comedy Central, because it’s just THAT FULL of crazy. It’s a veritable Boffo’s Joke Emporium Grab-Bag of lunacy: we’ve got pledges to repeal the 1965 Voter [sic] Rights Act, to stop the womenfolk from doing ungodly things with their sinful ladyparts, and to keep the UN from tainting the water supply with homosexual Kenyan-born Day-After Pills. But the awesomest part of the platform is to be found in the section on Edumacation. No, it’s not the ringing endorsement of corporal punishment, nor is it the predictable support for promoting freedom by forcing children to pledge allegiance to both the US and Texas flags. Heck, it’s not even the subtle shift from an open “Cdesign proponentsist” agenda to a pseudo-neutral call for students to be able to answer “God Did It” on a biology test “without fear of retribution or discrimination,” or even the plan to base all US History lessons on the art of John McNaughton. Nope, the real zinger of the 2012 GOP platform is what appears to be a declaration of war on rational thought itself: We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority. Read more on Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools…
  Hopped Up On Goofballs!

Parents! Your Teen May Be Using Drugs To Qualify For An Elite Party School

Another in an apparently never-ending series of special guest bloogs from DoktorZoom. Hey, Mommy-Blog readers! Just when you thought you’d gotten over that Mother’s Day story about child psychopaths, New York Times reporter Alan Schwarz brings us a new thing for parents to be worried about: drug-addled teenagers! But these are not the hop-headed angel-dusting teenagers of old ABC Afterschool Specials, getting “wasted” on “Alley Juice,” “Mary Jane,” “Special K,” “Donkey Dust,” “Meow-Meow,” “Peruvian Nose Candy,” or “Zumba.” No, the new threat to health and home is posed by high-achieving high-schoolers abusing stimulants intended for treating ADHD, not to get high, but to give them an edge in their academic pursuits: At high schools across the United States, pressure over grades and competition for college admissions are encouraging students to abuse prescription stimulants, according to interviews with students, parents and doctors. Pills that have been a staple in some college and graduate school circles are going from rare to routine in many academically competitive high schools, where teenagers say they get them from friends, buy them from student dealers or fake symptoms to their parents and doctors to get prescriptions. But in their zeal to get a head start in the academic rat race, these teens risk running afoul of drug laws, ruining their health, becoming addicted to harder drugs, and maybe even gaining admission to a highly selective university, where they may also read books and be turned against Jesus! Read more on Parents! Your Teen May Be Using Drugs To Qualify For An Elite Party School…
  day of infamy squared

Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day

Before “Pearl Harbor” was reduced to a three-hour reel of explosions starring overpriced wooden puppet Ben Affleck, it was a place where a bunch of American soldiers were attacked by a bunch of Japanese soldiers these seventy years ago today. A Day of Infamy, if you will. You may remember from every commemorative evening news broadcast since then that Americans generally avoid doing anything Asian-sounding on this day, to honor the fallen and to keep our wounds fresh. This year, though, you can count out those Obama daughters and their fancy-schmancy private school to have other plans. America-hating plans! Read more on Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day… Read more on Nation Aghast As Obama Daughters Eat Asian Food on Pearl Harbor Day…