Obama, Sarkozy and Brown’s disclosure this morning of a secret “other” Iranian uranium-enrichment facility hidden under the ground (crafty!) will have one certain effect: an outpouring of Very Serious Centrism from the Washington Post’s stable of pundits. David Ignatius, as you can see, has already commenced the fappery for bombing and war. “It’s hard to see how this one will end short of military confrontation if the Iranians don’t start bargaining for real,” Ignatius writes, as though he knows what he’s talking about. He also compares the current situation to the Cuban Missile Crisis, which famously ended before people started bombing each other. [Washington Post]

Remember the last young handsome half-Kenyan President we had before Barack Obama? Yes, Jack Kennedy! You’ll recall he assembled a band of Cuban nationals to re-invade Guam, and then he tore Nikita Khrushchev a new one while having sex with Marilyn Monroe and Angie Dickinson simultaneously. None of it would have been possible without drugs, and the excuse for the drugs was diarrhea. MORE »

During today’s White House Press Conference, Bushey press Secretary Dana Perino was asked, “Has the President teased you about the Cuban Missile Crisis at all?” This question erroneously presumes that Bush has a fucking clue what the Crisis was, but anyway, the White Rose of Poisony Ice Death responded, “No. It was a humorous show and I was exaggerating. Tell your host of your late-night show that.” Well I don’t have a late-night show or a host for it, but will do, Perino (Pareene-oh?).

Oh, also — she said waterboarding is legal. MORE »