So, Castro. Dead? He’s writing columns, apparently, but hey, the Family Circus still runs too. Anyway, no one knows if he’s alive or dead or what, though we’re leaning towards “alive.” Because did you know that Fidel Castro is the Highlander? It’s true! MORE »

As celebrity gossipmonger and known Anti-Castro Cuban-American Perez “Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr.” Hilton is the only News Source claiming Castro is actually dead, we have no choice but to collect a lot of utterly insane comments from his readers, who would usually be reading about the drug-whore exploits of Lindsey Wagner or whoever, but now they are confronted with Possible Global Breaking Political News. Plus, it’s Friday. MORE »

Good news, America! Our long half-century war with Cuban sensation Fidel Castro may finally be over, because he’s dead. Maybe. Our blogging comrade Perez Hilton (who is Cuban, and from Florida) is reporting exclusively that he heard a rumor that U.S. officials will soon announce Castro’s death. Another exclusive report is here, making it all the more exclusive. MORE »

Are you the sort of “can do” person who will show up to work every day? Do you like to “hang out on the beach” and corporate benefits. Can you read, or operate a telephone? Then you’re totally qualified for a great new summer job at Cuba’s beautiful Guantanamo Bay resort and Muslim-torturing camp. MORE »

Moratinos emphasized that Spain’s relationship with Castro is also geared toward ensuring a transition to democracy. Spain’s diplomatic presence in Havana allows it to maintain more contact with Cuban dissidents than the U.S. has, he added. MORE »

Problem: Cuba produces fantastic baseball players, but the thousand-year Cuban embargo makes it impossible for Major League Baseball scouts to farm Cuban players.
Solution: Create a dimensional portal to go around the U.S. embargo! MORE »

MORE »

Remember how the new Democratic Congressional Majority was going to shut down the illegal U.S. torture prison at Guantanamo Bay? Well, they’re actually not going to do anything. How do you like them now, suckers?! MORE »

It looks like Fidel Castro just might make it through yet another American presidency. MORE »

Watergate criminal and lifelong sleazebag E. Howard Hunt is finally dead, the AP reports. He was 88. MORE »

MORE »