• New controversial medical study ensures that cervical cancer will be the breast cancer of next week. One more’s a trendpiece! [New York Times]
• Members of Congress were very busy and shouty last night in trying to decide who they hated more: Obama or Geithner… [Washington Post]
• …while Catholic bishops easily picked Obama. [AP]
• Please do let the nebbishy hypochondriacs in your life know about the Vicks nasal spray recall. Or actually don’t. [CNN]
• Oprah the Human is self-canceling Oprah the Show in September 2011 so she can work on her own cable teevee station side-project. [WSJ]
• US citizens will probably not be allowed to visit Cuba again after all. By and large this should come as a huge relief to any Cuban familiar with American spring break cultural practices.. [The Hill]

Well, that tears it. Cuban Communist nightmare thug Fidel Castro wrote a sympathetic newspaper column about our president, which means that Obama must resign immediately. “The extreme right hates him for being African-American and fights what the president does to improve the deteriorated image of that country,” Castro wrote. Right at this moment, legions of angry wingnuts are printing out this column as definitive proof that garden variety liberal bleeding hearts are in league with Latin American dictators. [Reuters]

Former Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it’s a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn’s PR outfit to “communicate” things for “clients,” who include Lucifer and the reanimated corpse of Kenneth Lay. [Wall Street Journal]

Robert Gibbs made a very special announcement today about the communist plantation, Cuba! You can now travel and send gifts and clothes there — if you’re a Cuban-American with family on the island, that is. (Although the liberal New York Times writes that there maybe be more easing on the way, which Obama may announce during his trip this week to Trinidad and Tobago, which is very symbolically near Cuba.) MORE »

• Tomorrow is the anniversary — or “cumpleanos”, in Muslim — of Castro’s Cuban revolution. [Hit & Run]
• Douglas M. Elmendorf, some sort of lesser-known Lord of the Rings character, was selected by Democrats to direct the Congressional Budget Office. Nancy Pelosi is such a loser. [The Caucus]
• Michael Bloomberg has purchased the Clintons for New Year’s Eve. They will be displayed in Times Sq., for America. [Shenanigans]
• Barack Obama is holding an exciting essay contest! Winners will receive tickets to the Inauguration and the presidency of the Harvard Law Review. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Al Franken will probably beat Norm Coleman after all, in case that was putting a damper on your ability to enjoy New Year’s, which it couldn’t possibly have been. [HuffPost]

Happy Dead Presidents Day, everybody! Our most beloved non-Reagan dead president, John F. “Jack” Kennedy, was killed by Lyndon Johnson’s Anti-Castro Cuban CIA Mafia Military-Industrial FBI Complex way back in 1963. We still don’t know exactly what happened, because “the government” won’t release the files for another forty or fifty years (or never), but the Dallas Morning News says a weird old transcript proves or doesn’t prove how “lone gunman” Lee Harvey Oswald and mafia-nightclub tough Jack Ruby discussed killing JFK so, uh, the Chicago mob wouldn’t be bothered by Kennedy’s little brother, Bobby Kennedy, who was attorney general back when the attorney general was expected to do anti-crime things rather than just torture innocent foreigners forever, in Cuba. MORE »

Incredible as it seems, the Bush Administration may have been dishonest every day, forever, about Iraq. That’s the shocking conclusion of some study funded by “limousine liberal” George Soros. According to the report, Bush and Cheney and the rest of the administration spent all their time between 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq successfully convincing our nation’s dumber people — Congress, reporters, etc. — that Saddam Hussein was about to launch even more jetliners full of anthrax at American buildings. MORE »

David Hicks, a white Australian dude, was picked up fighting with the Taliban in 2001 and brought to Guantanamo. He spent 5 years there before he pled guilty last March to providing material support to al Qaeda as part of a deal to serve out the remainder of his sentence back home in Australia. He was released today. There are more than 300 inmates remaining at Guantanamo, 150 of whom we pretty much have no intention of never releasing. I’m guessing none of them are white. [Yahoo News]

You know how we’re doing this decades-long embargo thing against Cuba that includes a ban on most people visiting (other than family) and on most trade? Well, it turns out there’s also special rules for extra-special farmers who need a place to sell all the crops we pay them to grow but can’t consume. Yay!

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George Bush Jr. suddenly thinks keeping supreme power within the same family is a bad thing — in Cuba, anyway. Maybe only straight people are allowed to enjoy the fruits of nepotism?

So the Democrat candidates had another debate, in Florida, and apparently in Spanish. They said things about how much they don’t like Fidel Castro, who will outlive all of them. [TampaBay.com]