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If, like Yr Wonkette, you aren’t from Florida, chances are pretty good that the name and title “Congressman Joe Garcia (D-Florida)” do not instantly make anything spring to mind. We had to go to the Source of All Internet Truth ourselves, and we actually did have a brief moment of recognition near the middle of […]

After sleeping and dreaming of Canadians stabbing our ears with nasal whining, we unfortunately woke up to Ted Cruz still rambling on the teevee, somewhat incoherently, about how Obamacare is the love child of a threesome between the Plague, Hitler’s mustache, and Nickleback. Because we hate ourselves and love Our Glorious Reader all too much, […]

Good times on the ol’ SPAN last night, as Ohio state Treasurer/debate club fetus TOOK IT to Senator Sherrod Brown, and by “took it to” we mean yelled his talking points with awesome macho frowning and stuff. Did you know that Josh Mandel served his country in Iraq? It is true, he did, though how […]

Oh, look, jocular bigot Pat Buchanan is using the 16 hours a day he used to spend shouting about the white man’s burden on MSNBC to call in to Washington Journal, a group therapy program televised by C-SPAN. Taking the break-up a bit hard, aren’t you, Pat? Hahah– Wait, what? He’s actually an invited guest? […]

Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this […]

Mummified windbag John McCain was jabbering his usual nonsense during a Senate Armed Services hearing today when star witness General David Petraeus just keeled over. Why does McCain hate the Troops?

We are sorry to bring up Waterworld, but it’s the only thing that came to mind. Kevin Costner + Some sort of Trouble At Sea? Anyway, we just noticed the actor on the CSPAN, somberly barking at BP officials for not buying his machine, and a YouTube search turned up this set of local news […]

Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

This poor Real American simply does not care for all the coloreds who keep calling in to C-SPAN, demanding welfare. Will someone at “Black-SPAN” please fix this? [YouTube]

GAH, it’s 12:37 a.m. and Harry Reid’s up there saying, “You know, none of these amendments have been passed, I don’t think any of them are going to be,” etc., he is tired, but he runs marathons, so whatever. Now Mitch McConnell is back, saying of course Republicans only want to “improve” the bill, which […]

This clown, Devin Nunes, has been on CSPAN for the last hundred hours basically doing this. It’s funny until actual people call in, like this one Republican guy who admitted in a sort of embarrassed way how government health care saved his life, because he’s a veteran and got VA care when no insurance company […]

A 90 second video about the Democratic Congress and its illegal parliamentary trickeries. [RedState] Another one of those romantic candlelit riverboat cruises with K-Lo and Michael Mukasey. [The Corner] Matt Yglesias is quite enraptured by the cryptic lyrics of Miley Cyrus’ songwriter. [Matt Yglesias] The U.K. uses the price of processed fish to calculate inflation […]

Everyone likes to complain about how Barack Obama KEEPS BREAKING HIS BIGGEST CAMPAIGN PROMISE EVER to put every boring goddamn health care hearing or meeting or business lunch on C-SPAN — none of which they would ever watch, of course, but at least they would be There.

No idea if this is a hoax or not, but a self-identified Republican, “Abraham” — like the famous Jew! — called into CSPAN to ask Republican Sen. John Barrasso why Robert Byrd hadn’t died after Tom Coburn had instructed everyone to pray for it, and they had acquiesced? Maybe Tom Coburn doesn’t know God so […]

Jesus fuck is this even America anymore? First we elect a black president, and now the Twitter is shut off in the White House? And we don’t want to hear any of this “Security concerns” balderdash, because when we last had a real American president (that fat white sack of shit Dick Cheney), and he […]