Tag: crusades

Trump And Gingrich Totally Understand Women, Just Like Beloved Monarch Henry VIII

No one understood women like Henry VIII, that is for sure. Except maybe Ted Bundy!

Totally Reasonable John Kasich Guts Planned Parenthood In Totally Moderate Way

And then there were five. Jeb! is gone, along with a passel of other folks who were as awful as the remaining GOPers but just didn't have the staying power or requisite level of insanity. Although we all know by...
Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?

John Kasich Detects Some Flaws In His Jihad For Jesus Plan (But He’s Still For It)

The governor from Ohio, who enjoys rolling his eyes at his fellow Republican presidential candidates because they are nutty but he is reasonable, introduced a terrific plan this week to Fight the War on Terra: convert the heathens to Judeo-Christianity, which, FUN FACT, is...

Crusades Sure Is Dumb Idea, Says Guy Who Wants To Declare Holy War

It is comforting to know that amid the panties-soiling panic by Republican presidential candidates -- oh no, the toddler terrorists posing as refugees are comin' to get us! -- there is one conservative voice of reason, and you will never...
It's Smitin' Time!

‘Moderate’ John Kasich Only Wants To Bring Back The Crusades A Little Bit

We have to say, we never saw this one coming. In the race to see who could come up with the most insane, unconstitutional proposal in reaction to the Paris massacre, our money was on the obvious favorites, Ben...

Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They’d Be More Like Bush

Here is your foreign secret Muslim "president" Barry HUSSEIN Soetoro O'Bama, saying some sounds about how "refugees" are not the same thing as "terrorists." As if! That's exactly what he would say, isn't it? If he didn't really love America and want to keep...

GOP: Give Us Your Tired And Your Poor And Your Jesus-Lovers Only

Don't you just hate religious radicals who think their god is the best god and everyone else should go away, convert, or die in a fire? They're always trying to wipe out the unbelievers, murder the heathens even in...
Hey, he's not denying anyone a job right there, so he's cool

Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims

Iowa congressprick Steve "No I'm not the Novelist" King is disgusted -- disgusted! -- at the warped priorities of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson, who said in February that he would "give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country...

Viewing The Weekend Stock Photo Report Causes Autism, But It’s Worth It

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report, Rand Paul and Chris Christie vacillate on vaccines, Aaron Schock gets some dandy new digs, and conservative Christians are mad at Barack Obama for saying true things about history. Missed last...

Fox News Can’t Believe Obama Said Christians Have Done Bad Stuff Too, For Jesus

President Obama said words again, as he is so uppity-ly wont to do, so of course the dimwitted mouth-breathers on Fox & Friends are OUTRAGED!!!! Damn you, Obama, with your word-saying. This time, he was word-saying words at the National...

Prince Harry To Unsheath His Mighty Sword

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! His Royal Highness Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, better known as Prince Harry Hardcock, has decided to lead his kingdom's Christian knights in battle against the heathen Pathan. Harry, last seen cavorting with nymphs...

Sir Richard Santorum Criticizes Left For Not Honoring the Crusades

Whilom, as olde stories tellen us, Ther was a trewe knyght that highte Rick Santorum “The idea that the Crusades and the fight of Christendom against Islam is somehow an aggression on our part is absolutely anti-historical,” Santorum said in Spartanburg...