Wonkette

Republican state legislator Bob Allen will finally (maybe) be tried in a Florida court for bravely offering twenty bucks to suck off a “stocky black guy” in a park restroom in order to avoid becoming “a statistic.” Allen was a John McCain campaign co-chief in Florida — all the spots on Rudy’s campaign were taken — before his arrest by that same burly black guy. Ever since, he’s been following the GOP Playbook by refusing to resign, refusing to admit he’s a bathroom queen, and generally dragging down his party in a state where there are actually still some popular Republicans, such as Florida’s proudly single “first black governor” Charlie Crist. MORE »

Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig is appealing the ruling against his stupid attempt to undo his guilty plea for “disruptive behavior” in the Minneapolis airport’s cruisy toilet. The good times are back, people! In order to continue providing humor to America, Gay Senator Craig and his “wife” are doing the local and national television interview rounds, including a sure-to-be-hilarious appearance on NBC’s Today Show on Wednesday. Larry is gayly taking down what’s left of his party with him by bitchily attacking Mitt Romney and basically daring the Senate minority leadership to put a bullet in his head and dump his body behind a Boise truck stop with the “Super Tuber” recipe taped to his shoes. MORE »

Great news, everybody: The long-lost Giant Earth Anus has been rediscovered! The Knights Templar had carefully guarded the butthole’s location in the Holy Land, but it was later located by either Indiana Jones or William S. Burroughs. And now the Israeli Army Men have found it again! Mystics and Nostradamus and Bob Novak have long predicted that the rediscovery of the Giant Anus would lead to a new era of rampant, constant ass-fucking from the House to the Senate to airport and train station men’s rooms all around the world.

Gazans dig for profit [IDF/Reuters]

Here’s a not-exactly-shocking revelation that’s still funny to hear, from Evil Bob Novak himself: The Senate GOP leadership has always known that Larry Craig’s a closet case. Specifically, they knew he wasn’t just a secret gay, but one of those bathroom creeps always chasing cock in public. And this raises an interesting question in this Year Of Our Endless Cummer: How many times has Larry Craig been nabbed by the cops before what made Minneapolis famous made a wreck out of him? How did he cover it up? Bribes? Threats? Murder?

Novak: Senate R’s Knew Craig “Had This Problem” [New West]

Everybody loves recipes, especially when political leaders submit their “favorites” for charity or whatever. Here’s the most beloved recipe of Gay Larry Craig, the beloved “Super Tuber.” MORE »

Republican councilman and Louisiana state senate candidate Joey DiFatta has been arrested detained twice for cruising restrooms for gay sex. [NOLA]

Larry Craig, no gays in Iran, Ahmanottagaydood … this New Yorker cover has everything! Everything except for a fat disheveled Florida Republican legislator peeking over the stall offering to pay twenty bucks to give a blowjob, a squealing pig furry reaching under the stall, a Louisiana senator getting his diaper changed, Condi Rice sharing the next stall with a woman, Tucker Carlson waiting outside (with his friends) to beat up all the gay Republicans, a murdered six-foot-six gay hustler who hosted Saudi sex parties in D.C., and a DoJ assistant U.S. attorney fucking a five-year-old, that is ….

New Yorker

Hooray for the slow wheels of justice! Our new (and only) favorite Minnesota judge — Hennepin County District Court Judge Charles Porter Jr. — won’t rule on Larry Craig’s request for a do-over until next week. This will never end! MORE »

Larry Craig revisited the scene of the crime: Between his June arrest and August guilty plea, Craig also turned up in person at the offices of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport police, seeking contact information “so his lawyer can speak to someone,” according to a report filed by an officer who talked to Craig. [CNN Politics]

The Minnesota Prosecutor who accepted Gay Larry Craig’s guilty plea in August has now responded to the Idaho Bathroom Goblin’s ridiculous request for a do-over, and this guy is furious. Prosecutor Christopher Renz had a long talk with Craig back in July — weeks after the June arrest and before the August plea. In that conversation, Renz says he made it very clear that Craig should get a lawyer and not just cop a plea and hope nobody found out about it. MORE »

Goddamned lunatics. This is what you missed Monday night at the big Christian Values Webcast Debate that every major Republican candidate skipped, which still didn’t stop the dingbats from yelling at their empty podiums. Why should god bless America, indeed? But great job on the motherfucking parody version of “God Bless America,” freaks! What next, Uncle Sam masturbating in a public restroom stall while singing Psalm 13 to the tune of Y.M.C.A.?

Values Voter Debate: Why Should God Bless America? [YouTube via Philadelphia Will Do/Right Wing Watch]
Earlier: Why Does Rudy Want To Kill Our Brave Abortion Survivors?