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Posts Tagged ‘crooks’

Cindy McCain’s Mother Teresa Story Is Crap, Too

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

The Magic Nun.Thieving drug-addict beer heiress Cindy McCain can’t even keep her Third World Orphan Hunting stories straight! Both Cindy and the McCain campaign have repeatedly put out this story about Cindy traveling the world to laugh at poor people but then Mother Teresa said “Adopt these orphans you must,” and then Cindy adopted a couple of orphans, forgetting one on the plane and raising the other as Meghan’s unwanted little sister. But this, too, is a lie, as Cindy McCain has never met Mother Teresa. [Crooks and Liars/AMERICAblog]


Top Ten Crooked Things About McCain From This Phoenix Alt-Weekly Article

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

Where is that marvelous ape?Do you have time to read a 45-page-long first-person alt-weekly newsfeature about John McCain’s long life of being a political crook in Arizona and how everyone there fears and hates him? Of course not! Lucky for you, Wonkette has a team of offshore article readers, in Bangalore, who go through this stuff and whittle it down to a simple Top Ten list. You are welcome for this Service Journalism. MORE »


Monday, July 28th, 2008

Our MonicaYOU DON’T SAY: “The inspector general’s investigation found that Ms. Goodling and a handful of other senior aides to Mr. Gonzales developed a system of using in-person interviews and Internet searches to screen out candidates who might be too liberal and to identify candidates seen as pro-Republican and supportive of President Bush.” [New York Times]


Monday, June 30th, 2008
  • GOOD-BYE, VOTERS, I’M GOING TO PRISON! Convicted bribe-taking Alaskan state Rep. Vic Kohring spent his last hours of freedom today standing on the roadside with a home-made “THANKS ALASKA” sign, waving at people driving past him. He got caught in some Ted Stevens’ scam, and now he’s off to a federal prison in the Mojave Desert for up to 3-1/2 years. [TPM Muckraker]

Nevada’s Drunken Idiot Governor Divorcing His Wife For Some Reason

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

Buffoon.Dawn Gibbons has been living in the Nevada Governor’s Mansion alone since earlier this year. Jim Gibbons, the moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal who was comically elected governor in 2006 and took a secret midnight oath of office in his Reno living room, has moved back to that Reno house. He served Dawn with divorce papers, but she says he won’t tell her why he’s divorcing her. MORE »


Tax Returns Prove Bush, Cheney Not Yet Richest Men On Earth

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Happy, wealthy and wise.Presidents and vice presidents file tax returns — they’re just like us! George and Laura Bush filed and guess how much they made in 2007? Just shy of a million! That’s not really so much money. Dick and Lynne Cheney easily beat the fake president’s adjusted gross income of $923,807. But by how much? MORE »


GOV. ELIOT SPITZER IS A WHOREMONGER

Monday, March 10th, 2008

Pimp.Hey, the Governor of New York runs a prostitution ring of sex prostitutes! The New York Times says this is true! This is funny because Eliot Spitzer was supposedly Mr. “I will crack down on the prostitution rings,” but he apparently really meant “I will destroy the competition.” Speculate wildly as to what this is all about, if you like! [New York Times]


Cretin Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons Having ‘Family Meeting’ To Get Divorced

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Idiot.The divorce gossip is basically true! Halfway through a disastrous scandal-ridden first (possibly fictional) term as Nevada’s governor, rat-eyed corrupt paranoid-schizophrenic alcoholic cocktail-waitress-assaulting Jim Gibbons is having a “family meeting” this weekend to make a divorce deal with Dawn Gibbons, his long-suffering yet power-mad wife. This is according to the Reno Gazette Journal, quoting Gibbons’ own office. Congratulations, Dawn! Maybe your settlement will include that briefcase full of bribe money and poker chips the lobbyists brought you on the cruise ship!

Future of Gibbons marriage uncertain [RGJ]


John McCain’s Long Career Of Sleazy Lies, Semi-Affairs & Total Corruption

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

So old and crooked.This whole “presumptive nominee” thing must be serious, because the New York Times just dumped a million-word “investigative report” on how John McCain is the sleaziest sack of scum since, uh, all the other Republicans who already dropped out of the race. Also: Did he have a Dirty Sex Affair with some lobbyist broad who looks suspiciously like his current wife? Let’s find out! MORE »


Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Shut the fuck up, babyHOUSE REPUBLICANS STOMP OUT OF CONGRESS, NOBODY CARES: Hey, a whole bunch of GOP representatives angrily walked out of the House this afternoon because they’re so angry about how Josh Bolten and Harriet Miers were finally held in contempt of Congress for all their many crimes against America, God and Nature. Happy angry Valentine’s Day, children! [CNN]