Tag Archives: criminals

  more like bill old amiright

Confuzzled Florida Republican Stalked By Phantom Occupy Burglars

Rep. Bill Young (R-Hiding Under The Covers) was first elected to public office in 1960 and is, by the maths of some churches, literally older than the Earth itself. He has seen a lot of things, and dealt with a lot of things — but at 81, how many more Things can one guy deal with? Wage inequality is certainly not one of them; when asked about it, his only response was “Get a job,” because who would he be if not a caricature of an old man. There’s something else that’s really irking him, though: This whole 99 Percent business, with their talk of “corporatism” and living in tents and yelling about whatever it is, who can hear with all this racket. They’re new, and they’re scary — and they’re targeting Bill. Read more on Confuzzled Florida Republican Stalked By Phantom Occupy Burglars…
  dumb rightwing crooked assholes

Jerkoff To Retire From Congress

Indefensible lifelong asshole Jerry Lewis, Republican crook from California’s “Inland Empire,” will finally retire from the House because his district is no longer a geometric abomination carved out by his GOP cronies. Lewis, a hateful clown in a white fright wig, has spent his career being a complete asshole while lavishing pork projects on his district as long as they were named for “Representative Jerry Lewis.” Read more on Jerkoff To Retire From Congress…
  only vaguely ironic

Evil ‘Homeless Costume Party’ Eviction Firm Closing, For Being Evil

Whoops! It is apparently Not Okay as of “since Occupy Wall Street started” for the sadistic owner of a foreclosure mill to openly mock the struggling families it makes truckloads of money throwing out of their homes by forcing its employees to costume themselves as homeless people for Halloween, so Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac decided to “evict” the law firm of Steven J. Baum from its referral list, for not having the decency of every other government-supported jillion-dollar corrupt business to just have their laffs at the poor in private. Without all these referrals, the firm is being forced to close down. Read more on Evil ‘Homeless Costume Party’ Eviction Firm Closing, For Being Evil…
  stockjobbers

Joe Lieberman Pretends To Care About Insider Trading In Congress

Old persons’ program 60 Minutes is about the only thing on the teevee that occasionally does journalism. So when the nation’s half-dozing seniors saw this report air last Sunday about how the representatives in Washington have turned the Halls of Congress into a Temple of Insider-Trading Whoredom, you knew there would be some serious upheaval, right? Ha ha, just kidding! All that’s happening is Joe Lieberman, winner of the Most Hated Man in Washington Award for 10 years running, is joining forces with unwanted teabagger Scott Brown, along with various other grandstanders who will have Bipartisan meetings to “probe” the situation they all know about and profit from. Read more on Joe Lieberman Pretends To Care About Insider Trading In Congress…
  this is halloween

Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families

The first reaction most decent people will have when seeing these pictures of last year’s Halloween costume party at the foreclosure mill law offices of Steven J. Baum is overwhelming disgust and nausea, followed by an overwhelming desire to storm these offices on Monday and “make an example.” But the employees of Steven J. Baum are, ultimately, wage slaves to the institutionalized cruelty and dehumanization that defines America’s economic system. The people pictured here look like legal assistants and secretaries and paralegals and receptionists and file clerks and low-level litigators, all probably underwater on their own mortgages and all much closer to economic catastrophe than they’d care to admit — this firm is in a suburb of Buffalo, after all. It is crucial that the Steven J. Baums of the world force their own wage slaves into opposition against the rest of the nation’s wage slaves. This is why Oakland’s police officers, many of them military veterans, are so ready to viciously attack other military veterans. It’s why a “Tea Party” of Ron Paul supporters was hijacked by the billionaire Koch Brothers and turned into a manufactured outrage of middle-class whites against middle-class whites (and the minorities and lower classes, as always). Read more on Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families…
  kittens!

Washington Post Illustrates Oakland Police Brutality With Cop Petting Kitty

Faced with endless photographic documentation of the insane violence of 500 riot cops against a group of protesters in Oakland, the Washington Post editors proved they are good Kaplan 1% corporate lackeys and choose this picture of … a riot cop petting a kitten. Not just any kitten, though. According to the Washington Post, the shameful excuse for a newspaper in the nation’s capital, it’s a kitten that was cruelly left there by the evil protesters. Hooray for the cops! Protesters hate kittens. Read more on Washington Post Illustrates Oakland Police Brutality With Cop Petting Kitty…
  distractions

Hedge Fund Criminal Gets 11 Years, Which Should Placate Everyone

A notorious hedge fund manager found guilty of the most blatant insider securities trading since the Reagan Era was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison today, which experts hope will “calm everyone the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution.” But the fat, diabetic billionaire’s mild prison sentence for his organized crime spree and $72 million in theft will probably just enrage everybody further — including millions of angry, jobless Americans who have never heard of Raj Rajaratnam before today. Besides, all of his co-conspirators at Goldman Sachs and McKinsey & Co. and various other evil Wall Street crime syndicates are getting away with their part. Rajaratnam himself — only in his 50s, and so degenerate that he would not even buy himself a couple of personal trainers and chefs to feed him properly — will require kidney transplants and will likely die before he’s released, so that he cheats justice until the very end. Still, prosecutors wanted a 19-year sentence, because people are freaking the hell out and it’s going to be guillotine time if we don’t throw these mobs some show-trial distractions. Read more on Hedge Fund Criminal Gets 11 Years, Which Should Placate Everyone…
  occupy the wall street journal

Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half

Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch’s empire of shit continues to stink, with his “rogue corporation” caught in yet another amoral activity — this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper’s European circulation by 41%. So the big corporations paying top dollar to reach the coveted 1% who supposedly read the WSJ while shopping in Paris or whatever were instead paying to have 31,000 daily copies bought for a nickel apiece and dumped. Worse, the paper printed a bunch of bogus endorsements and features on the shell companies involved in the criminal scheme. Read more on Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half…
  lizard people

Non-Human Rick Scott Launches Jihad Against People Who Study Humans

Space monster/invoked demon Rick Scott is clearly not a human. Children everywhere know Rick Scott’s face very well: It is what they see during nightmares, the soulless mask of non-human evil as personified by Lord Voldemort in the demonic Halloween books by J.K. Rowling. Rick Scott has laughed off such accusations, in his inhuman laugh, but now the Florida governor and business “man” has begun an all-out assault on the one profession that can show he is not one of us: Anthropologists. Read more on Non-Human Rick Scott Launches Jihad Against People Who Study Humans…
  is daniel gordon even his real name?

Fugitive Rhode Island Rep. Blames Crimes On Fake Iraq War Service

Rhode Island GOP lawmaker Daniel Gordon Jr. was last heard from a week ago when the Rhode Island State Police discovered that he is a wanted fugitive in the state of Massachusetts who also turns out to be a prickly violent criminal with a two decade-long rap sheet more extensive than, eh, let’s say “the complete works of Shakespeare,” give or take a few hundred words. This tragic idiot also turns out to be a third-tier con artist whose foolproof response to journalists asking about his criminal misadventures was an epic fiction blaming PTSD he says he sustained while serving in Iraq during the first Gulf War, ’cause the Mooslims blew up his leg. He would love to show you the proof, but also very tragically, uh, a massive house fire sadly destroyed all the evidence! The Department of Defense has no record of any of this either, because they hate freedom. Read more on Fugitive Rhode Island Rep. Blames Crimes On Fake Iraq War Service…
  koch-blocked

FBI Raids Computers of Koch-Monster Scott Walker’s Henchwoman

Another of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s propagandists on the public payroll had her home and computers raided by the FBI and state police, on Wednesday. The “former top aide,” Cynthia A. Archer, is currently on “paid sick leave” but had been the deputy chief of Walker’s comically corrupt administration. What did all the G-men want with this Walker tool’s computers? And why had she passed one off on her neighbor, who happily handed it back to the FBI so they could do forensics on the hard drive? Oh, it’s all part of this sketchy Walker operation to have a bunch of his goons (on the government payroll, of course) flood blogs and websites with comments supporting Walker and his Kochian policies against the citizens of Wisconsin. Read more on FBI Raids Computers of Koch-Monster Scott Walker’s Henchwoman…
  freedom isn't free!

U.S. Military As Good At Fraud As It Is Killing Random Brown People

Every single day of the last miserable decade, the U.S. Military has pissed away more than $16 million in fraudulent contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq. That’s $60 billion thrown away on wasteful handouts to Pentagon contractors during the wonderful War On Terror — $60 billion thrown away without even killing random goat farmers who committed “terror” by being born in an impoverished country that happened to be a good, out-of-the-way place to test robot death planes around the clock. And these numbers come not from some external objective accounting project, but from the U.S. government itself. So, the numbers are obviously lies, and are probably off by several hundred billion dollars. Let’s cut Social Security benefits from a program that’s fully funded from people’s paychecks, because “entitlements” are bankrupting the country! Read more on U.S. Military As Good At Fraud As It Is Killing Random Brown People…
  kleptocracy

Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)

Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this year that is destroying the pension funds and 401ks of millions of relatively innocent Americans? Here’s some BofA douche (is that a toupee?) whispering tenderly to Texan corporate clown Rick Perry. What’s he promising? Read more on Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)…
  let the eagle soar

Beloved Patriot John Ashcroft Works For Blackwater Now

Fundamentalist fringe-right creep John Ashcroft is now working for fringe-right private death squad contractor Blackwater (since renamed to try to make people forget it’s called Blackwater). Hooray for corruption, crony capitalism, disastrous wingnuttery and U.S. death squads: Read more on Beloved Patriot John Ashcroft Works For Blackwater Now…
  I do not think it means what you think it means

Scott Walker Says His Attack On U.S. Workers ‘Is Truly Progressive’

The Koch Brothers’ dumb little whore from Wisconsin, Scott Walker, is testifying before Congress today — and he’s got a very unique take on the class war he’s waging against the working citizens of his state. “In Wisconsin, we are doing something truly progressive. In addition to holding the line on spending and finding efficiencies in state government, we are implementing long term budget reforms focused on protecting middle class jobs and middle class taxpayers.” Uh, yeah! By screwing people out of the minimal protections unions provide for some public-sector workers, Scott Walker is actually protecting the middle class he and his corporate backers are intentionally destroying. Progressive! Read more on Scott Walker Says His Attack On U.S. Workers ‘Is Truly Progressive’…
  koch suck and a reacharound

Scott Walker Pays $81.5K Gov’t Salary to Drunk-Driving Loser Son of Crony

When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome “environmental and regulatory matters” in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid is earning $81,5000 a year as one of Governor Scott Walker’s top-paid people in the administration. But how did this young GOP idiot, Brian Deschane, get such a sweet job suckling on the public teat? Easy! According to the Journal Sentinel’s Daniel Bice, Brian Deschane’s father is “Jerry Deschane, executive vice president and longtime lobbyist for the Madison-based Wisconsin Builders Association, which bet big on Walker during last year’s governor’s race.” Haha, now that’s the kind of contribution that really pays off! Read more on Scott Walker Pays $81.5K Gov’t Salary to Drunk-Driving Loser Son of Crony…
  it's morning in america

The Gulf Coast: Come For the Dead Baby Dolphins, Stay and Get Sick

Almost a year after the worst oil spill in Recorded History, the picturesque Gulf Coast is once again teeming with life: From Mexico to Florida, small children are building sand condos, birds are squawking “thanks for cleaning all that oil off me, you guys rule,” and delicious popcorn shrimps are jumping out of the clean blue water, in hopes that someone will eat them. Ha-ha, actually: All the foolish children who like playing on the beach have been poisoned by toxic BP dispersants, all the birds are dead (probably), and DON’T EAT THAT POPCORN SHRIMP! Scientific data suggests that the Gulf Coast is being molested by downpours of toxic rain — and did we mention all the dead baby dolphins, and how there is a gag order preventing scientists from discussing why all these baby dolphins are washing up on the shores, dead as can be? (Uh, BP just announced that it will not compensate a whole bunch of poisoned, oil-ravaged communities. Instead, BP’s claims processing CEO will raise money for Bobby Jindal.) [WHNT/HuffPo/Al Jazeera] Read more on The Gulf Coast: Come For the Dead Baby Dolphins, Stay and Get Sick… Read more on The Gulf Coast: Come For the Dead Baby Dolphins, Stay and Get Sick…
  annals of justice

IRS Agent Puts Guy In Jail For ‘Stated Income’ Mortgage, Because of Documentary About Charity Run

Here’s the worst thing we’ve read all weekend, and that’s saying a lot. It’s the story of a guy who was prosecuted by a rogue IRS agent who literally picks his targets by watching movies and scanning the highways for expensive cars. Ha, sure, why not? And it’s also the story of how someone involved with Countrywide’s disastrous “stated income loans” (where people were encouraged to say whatever number would make them eligible for these mortgages) was finally sent to prison. CEO slimebag graft artist Angelo Mozilo, who paid a fine from his stockpile and walked away smiling? No, it was this guy: Read more on IRS Agent Puts Guy In Jail For ‘Stated Income’ Mortgage, Because of Documentary About Charity Run…
  arrest scott walker now

Madison Police Chief Says Walker’s Comments ‘Unsettling and Troubling’

Unlike the power-worshiping people-hating media whores who dismissed the whole fake-David Koch call that Scott Walker totally believed was really his boss David Koch, the Madison chief of police didn’t brush off Governor Walker’s telephone report card intended for a billionaire corporate master. Madison Police Chief Noble Wray says Walker’s recorded conversation about his plans to use agents provocateurs and thug violence against Wisconsin’s teachers and firefighters and police is “very unsettling and troubling.” Anybody remember when the governor of a neighboring state was impeached and convicted for his recorded conversations about taking simple bribes? Walker’s not only guilty of naked, admitted corruption — Walker has confirmed that it’s his voice saying he planned to hire interstate criminals to use felony violence against his constituents and state employees. Read more on Madison Police Chief Says Walker’s Comments ‘Unsettling and Troubling’…
  fight the porno cancer tsa

TSA Says It’s ‘Irresponsible’ To Legally Opt-Out of Porno-Cancer Scanners

Oh lookee, the nation’s primary employer of high-school dropouts stealing your laptop and feeling up your 13-year-old daughter in airport security lines now says it’s “irresponsible” for you to opt-out of being stuck into a dangerous radiation chamber that produces x-ray porno pictures of Americans paying hundreds or thousands of dollars to fly on a plane. The Washington Post and CNN are among the mainstream media organizations now reporting on the nationwide backlash against TSA’s insane, dangerous and morally reprehensible groping and porno-tubing of American air travelers. And the TSA doesn’t like that! Read more on TSA Says It’s ‘Irresponsible’ To Legally Opt-Out of Porno-Cancer Scanners…
  just in time for the third eye blind reunion tour

Supreme Court: Enron Really Wasn’t So Bad, Actually!

The first year and a half or so of the ’00s sure seem pretty awesome in retrospect, right? The worst we had to worry about was Al Gore’s “lock box” and the sudden discovery that maybe sometimes corporations acted in the interests of their own short-term profit, rather than for the greater good of society! One of these corporations was called “Enron,” and everyone was really mad about it, for a while, and eventually some of the people who ran it went to jail. Except now the Supreme Court has thrown out a lot of the charges, because really, crimes from 1999, who can even imagine what those must have been like, now Read more on Supreme Court: Enron Really Wasn’t So Bad, Actually!…
  when the moon hits your eye

Internatonal Jewish Conspiracy Hires Abramoff To Market Pizza

Jack Abramoff! Remember that guy? Corrupt lobbyist something something Congressman A something something Filipina sex slaves blah blah golf junkets yadda yadda yadda WHATEVER, you can Google this business yourself, what do we look like, your personal political scandal historians? We’re all about the future, not the past, and in the future, Jack Abramoff, who just got out of jail, will be selling pizza to the Jews. Read more on Internatonal Jewish Conspiracy Hires Abramoff To Market Pizza…