“Last night, October 5th, after what was thought to be a secret meeting for new members of the front at Chief Ike’s, Inquisitor K (forgot to ask if I can just put his real name now) was arrested by US Marshalls. He says they were watching the meeting the entire time and when leaving they rushed him but he got away and was chased into Rock Creek where he was tackled, cuffed and nearly drowned. We went down to court this morning where he was arraigned on many charges including advocating terrorism (or something like that), providing material support to a terrorist organization, aggravated assault (for a botched ball-napping in July where a kickball player who gave chase was supposedly knocked out with brass knuckles), resisting arrest, 3 counts of theft, another assault charge, and he apparently faces extradition to Maryland and New Jersey for warrants related to narcotics trafficking.” [DieYuppieKickball.com]

Larry Craig’s devotion to public service is matched only by his urgent need to get anonymous dudes off in public. Which is to say that he’s not retiring after all! Even though he’s still guilty! Larry’s gonna stay on until the bitter end — a.k.a. “January of 2009″ — and he’s going to “explore… additional legal options.” MORE »

An activist Minnesota Judge has denied hero Senator Larry Craig’s motion to withdraw his plea of guilty of trying to fuck an undercover cop in a cruisy toilet. Judge Charles Porter, Jr. issued a 27-page opinion, though he really could’ve just left it at “what the fuck is wrong with you?” Anyway Larry is now expected to resign, except that some people expect him to appeal, and not resign. Because dude has lost his mind! And quitting now is just what the salmon want him to do.

Judge denies Craig’s motion to withdraw mention in bathroom bust arrest [PageOneQ]

Erik Prince, Blackwater’s founder and owner, is testifying before Congress about how his mercenary army keeps shooting civilians in Iraq. Henry Waxman opened the hearing by applauding Prince for serving in the military even though he’s rich and politically-connected. And we applaud Prince for then quitting the military to go into the private sector, using all that taxpayer-funded know-how to make himself millions of dollars. Of course, every now and then, one has to give back a couple of those dollars. Like when one of your employees drunkenly kills a civilian and you need to shut up his whiny family. And just how much is that life worth? MORE »

As a Republican from Nebrasdaho or wherever the fuck, Larry Craig was a tireless champion of power companies and logging concerns, and he never stopped fighting the powerful salmon interests. That’s right, salmon — you might know them as the harmless smoked fish Larry King puts on his bagels, when he is making bagels, but in real life Big Salmon has a stranglehold on our government and industry, preventing upstanding American companies from building big dams that power our baby monitors and puppy-grooming machines. But with Larry resigning in disgrace for the “crime” of soliciting public sex with an undercover cop, these salmon may soon be free to infest the Snake River with their disgusting spawn. That’s why we all need to support Senator Craig in his latest campaign: the campaign to not actually resign. MORE »

It was apparently the airlines’ fault that Rep. Bob Filner went nuts and assaulted some baggage handlers. [WP]

Remember Philip Cooney? Oil lobbyist who resigned from the Bush administration (to work for Exxon) after it was revealed he was editing all the US Climate Change reports to say global warming was made-up? Well, his son was just arrested for gay-bashing in Georgetown. Thanks to Facebook! [NBC4, Vox Populi]

John Michael, Duke Cunningham’s personal money launderer, was apparently convinced that no federal investigators would ever find the incriminating documents if he hid them in his porn stash. [TPMMuckraker]

Murder, robbery, burglary and arson on the rise as America crumbles, but rape is down 2% as even rapists give up hope. [FBI]

The funniest thing about CREW’s annual (only annual? We feel like we’ve seen four of these lists this year alone) list of the most corrupt congresspeople is that you can apparently make the “Dishonorable Mention” list just by fucking a whore or trying to fuck a cop. And congratulations to the token Democrats on the list, William Jefferson, Alan Mollohan, John Murtha, and David Scott. HOW COME TWO OF THEM ARE BLACK, HUH? Congratulations also to California, our most corrupt state. Better luck next time, New Mexico!

Beyond DeLay

Looking for a Republican Sex Offender? Republicansexoffenders.com has you covered. Republicansexoffenders.com — for all your Republican Sex Offender needs! [Republican Sex Offenders]

Mike Signorile and Pam Spaulding sort of attempt to link the whole Gay Lover’s Quarrel Florida Murder-Suicide creepy David Lynch story to, uh, Patrick McHenry somehow. Why not? We strongly encourage this sort of thing. [Pam's House Blend]

BREAKING UPDATE: Philippines Ex-president Joseph Estrada was found guilty of plunder, which is awesome. [NYT]