Tag: crime

Atrocious Gamergater/Alt-Right Blogger Takes Time Off From Harassing Women To Assault A Cop

Notorious troll Ethan Ralph faces up to five years in prison.

This One Chart Explains How Donald Trump Is Vile Beyond Description

Donald Trump's much anticipated (so they say) speech on illegal immigration used the word "kill" six times. "Murder" came up three times. There was one "rape," three "violent," a whopping 24 "criminal," five "horrible," just one "terrible" (!), five...

‘Exorcist’ On The Run After Conning People More Directly Than Usual

She didn't even bother to de-possess them!
These cutesy 'Abbey Road' recreations are getting out of hand

Donald Trump Staggeringly Wrong About Another Thing (Crime). Bet You’re As Shocked As We Were!

Donald Trump was incredibly wrong about crime rates. Imagine that!
True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself

Surprise! Trump’s New Campaign Chief Had A Little Woman-Beating Problem, Allegedly

Steve Bannon, the guy in charge of a campaign that hates women, has a history of allegedly abusing them!

Nice Orlando Hospitals Won’t Charge Pulse Victims Any Money For Getting Shot

Because HI, we live in a system in which people have to pay money when they get shot!

Trump Can’t Talk To The Blacks Because Blacktown Way Too Dangerous To Visit

Corey Lewandowski explained why Donald Trump's appeals to African-Americans always happen in front of white audiences: Black areas are too dangerous.
I know what you're thinking. Did he win six electoral votes or only five?

Donald Trump’s Plan To End Crime: Unleash Dirty Harry, McBain, More-Racist Mel Gibson

Donald Trump has a plan to stop crime, and it all depends on One Tough Cop. Wish Trump had gotten his name.
Whaddayamean, an F?

Yeehaw! Texas Colleges Open To Pistol Packin’, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Thank heavens, the Texas Lege has finally done something about the defenseless students on Texas college campuses! A law allowing concealed handgun carry on campuses went into effect today to allow students and faculty to defend themselves from Comanchero...

Fox Doc Keith Ablow Being A Jerk To All The Lazy, Potted-Up Millennials. That Is Wonkette’s Job!

Snotnosed Millennial brat thinks "Dr." Keith Ablow is not even the boss of him, whatever.
The smartest man in the room

Sen. Tom Cotton Dreams Of An America With Even More People In Prison

Sen. Tom Cotton offered a contrarian take on prison reform: we need to put a whole lot more people behind bars, ideally forever.

Walmart Discovers Exciting New Way To Suck Off Your Tax Dollars!

Walmart knows how to bring down costs to enhance profits. Like depending on law enforcement to provide security instead of hiring some security guards.

Oklahoma Court Just Fine With Oral Rape, As Long As Victim’s Really, Really Drunk

In a novel bit of legal reasoning, an Oklahoma state appeals court has decided that under Oklahoma law, oral sex with a person who's completely unconscious isn't actually a crime. They're not unsympathetic to victims, no, not at...
Everybody must get stoned

Sexxxy Richard Branson Says UN Should Drop Drug Policy Of ‘Keep Hitting Yourself’

Richard Branson, famous rich person and repository of some of the world's remaining sexxxiness reserves since the passing of Prince (PBUH), is so MAD, you guys, about the latest United Nations Drug Policy Agreement that just came out. Branson, the billionaire...
'Imagine the excitement of this demon as he destroyed the property of Christ!'

You Will Fall Madly In Love With This Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop

//     Yr Wonkette has a new boyfriend in law enforcement, and he is Captain Clay Higgins of the St. Landry Parish Sheriff’s Office in Opelousas, Louisiana. You see, he makes these bizarrely earnest Crimestoppers videos that are half sermon, half...