• Su Lin? Straight up OWNED. Butterstick? Currently keeping scientists busy recalibrating all known measures of cuteness. MORE »

After posting about the young Michael Scanlon’s bizarre hormonal explorations, we were sent a note from another of his contemporaries who experienced his high school reign of terror. Wishing to remain anonymous out of concern for a future of peaceful area shopping, our tipster assures us: “I can completely vouch for this. I was one of the black-clad girls he tormented at WJ (I was 5′ 6″ in high school, though, so he didn’t mess with me much — he mostly went after the shorter girls).” MORE »

• There’s a king on a throne with his eyes torn out. There’s a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt. Dick Cheney’s closely guarded, much beloved, iPod playlist. [Attytood] MORE »

Is it our imagination, or have the recent ADD-style efforts of the White House to recapture its fabled “message discipline” permanently frazzled the reasoning powers of the Note’s Gang of Language Manglers? Witness today’s entry, which kicks off with the now-standard non sequitur masquerading as an echt-insider rhetorical question: Behind the Locked Double Doors: Which Came Out, the Lady or the Tiger?

Why, we don’t know, Note. Because actually, the fable you’re referencing concerns the finality of a fatal choice, and we can’t puzzle out what choice you’re talking about. Drop-kicking Jack Murtha? Posturing indignantly over the “irresponsibility” of critics of prewar intelligence? Boxers or briefs? What, Note, what?

More Notely musings after the jump.

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All right, our Note-induced case of the vapors has subsided long enough to review the responses to our plea for assitance in deciphering today’s Halperinite headline-for-one, “The Owl Flies West (?)” Responses were gratifyingly varied and imaginative, but it’s been our experience in such unnerving cases that it’s best to hew to the most straightforward explanation. To wit, the enclosed from Reader D.S.: MORE »