Tag: crew

Congress

Guess Which Whiny Crybaby Congressjerk Wants A Pay Raise This Time

Just to prove that Republicans do not have a monopoly on dick moves, Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings, who is ostensibly a Democrat -- the kind who won't campaign against Republicans -- is the latest member of Congress to whine...

Aaron Schock’s Ass Writes Check For Downton Abbey Office, US Treasury Cashes It

Hello, hot Republican boyfriend Aaron Schock, what are we doing with our time today? Oh, me? Nothing, just checking in with you. Oh, you finally had to write a check to the United States Treasury for that free-stylin' Downton...
We're sure he'll find a way to Shake This Off too.

Aaron Schock Hires Nice Lawyers To Fix All His Not-Gay Ethics Violations

Oh, Aaron Schock, we have so missed reporting on you for the last three days or so! But we are back, because things continue to go poorly for you, you dumb, cuddly animal, and we promise we will not...

Aaron Schock Might Get Gayest Ethics Violation Ever

Oh, ho, ho, so you know how yesterday we were talking about that thing by the campfire, about how sexy wingnut Aaron Schock, who is not gay, got one of his favorite interior decorators to make him a fancy...

Mean Jerk Joe Biden Didn’t Send Aide A Thank-You Note Until He Asked, And Other Halloween Tales Of Horror

Sorry, old ladies, but Old Handsome Joe Biden may be old and he may be handsome, but he is NOT the world's greatest lover of all humanity (especially old ladies) that you think he is! Once, he didn't even...

Meet All Of Obama’s Secret Friends And Playdates!

Awhile ago Barack Obama decided he was going to be America's first Transparent President. This was fine because of how benign it was, for him to claim that. Like, sure! Anyway, then in June, things became ILLEGALLY OPAQUE when...

Obama Is Acting Unacceptably Cagey About White House Visitors’ Records

President Obama, the consummate host and entertainer, loves to have guests at his fancy DC mansion. But who are these guests, and why do they visit? Are they there for, like, orgies, or to lobby him on "clean coal"...

Palin Cleared Of Wrongdoing In Expensive-Clothes Scandal That Rocked Nation

Sarah Palin's long sartorial nightmare is over, as the Federal Election Commission finally decided that the bazillions of dollars spent on her pacifiers, Italian couture jackets, and Victoria's Secret lingerie were legal. Palin's clothes did not constitute "personal use...