BAN-HAMMER OF THE GODS: Folks, things have become a bit intolerable in our previously fun & funny comments section. You should know better, etc., but for the sake of Good Manners we’re going to repeat some very basic rules. MORE »

Ha ha George Will: “Today it is silly for Americans whose closest approximation of physical labor consists of loading their bags of clubs into golf carts to go around in public dressed for driving steers up the Chisholm Trail to the railhead in Abilene.” It’s funny because it’s sort of true! We are a nation of wretched cowboy slobs. MORE »

Everybody was so excited when what’s his name, Atlantic child wonder Ross Douthat, got Bill Kristol’s spot in the New York Times. We’re still kind of angry about the NYT taking away one of our easiest weekly comedy bits, so no hurrahs from your Wonkette. Also, this Ross Douthat does seem to be that most common of things, a conservative asshole! Let’s take a look at his book, Privilege, and a very unsexy scene on page 184. MORE »

During his tenure in office, George Bush created more than a housing bubble: he also fostered an “employment bubble” for high-functioning idiots, who were awarded fancy jobs in his administration and have since departed in shame and ignominy. Exhibit A: the hapless cretin, unemployed loser, and only Bush administration toady not to get a zillion dollars for his tell-all autobiography, Alberto Gonzales. MORE »

Have you ever been at a party and had a swell time drinking fancy drinks with nifty folks and suddenly you look up, it’s 3:30 in the morning, all the cool kids have gone home, and you’re stuck on a pee-stained couch drinking vodka and milk cocktails with a pimpled, silent loser pawing your knee? That is the story of the National Review, where David Frum says he’ll no longer be writing. (In this somewhat tortured metaphor, Frum is actually one of the “cool kids,” the party is over, and you have to give Kathryn Jean Lopez a ride home and hope she doesn’t vomit in your car.) MORE »

REMEMBER DRUNKY McRAPEY? Jim Gibbons is this incredibly dull/stupid cretin-crook Republican congressman who somehow became governor of Nevada, in the middle of some awful cheap sex-assault scandal. Now his wife has finally left him, the Feds are investigating all his crookedness, people are noticing that he hasn’t actually shown up to work this year, and the Vegas cocktail waitress he (allegedly) threatened to rape and murder has just filed a federal lawsuit against him, for being a scumbag. [Reno and its Discontents/Las Vegas Gleaner/Las Vegas Review Journal]

(Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how “A Charlie Brown Christmas” plays on the teevee every December.) On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally restoring energy and defense stocks to the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism. MORE »

That John McCain really is a “man of the people,” which is why he went out to the Sturgis biker rally in South Dakota yesterday to praise the slobs for their slavish dependence on Muslim Arab petroleum. “This is my first time here,” McCain told the crowd of fat, tattooed motorcycle fetishists from the suburbs, “but I recognize that sound. It’s the sound of freedom.” The sound, actually, was just these people revving their foreign-oil powered bikes for no reason at all beyond a childlike delight in destroying everybody else’s peace and quiet. Oh, and then McCain offered Cindy to the motorcyclists, in a nod to the old Hells Angels’ tradition of letting everybody bang your old lady. MORE »

LETTERS FROM A NUT: Regarding the March 5 Reliable Source item “A Warped Lens on D.C. Party Scene”: The caption above the photographs of Reed Landry and Liz Glover stated that, according to Glover, Landry “went postal” on her camera. I was shocked, appalled and dismayed to read this term in your newspaper. “Going postal” carries a hideous and degrading connotation regarding the …. [Washington Post]

LIZ GLOVER-LNS CAMERA SCANDAL LIVES ON! Today’s Reliable Source D.C. gossip chat at WashingtonPost.com is loaded with more talk about that Late Night Shots cretin breaking our LIz Glover’s camera. What next, a major motion picture? [Washington Post]

Gentlemen don’t knock the cameras from the hands of Wonkette’s Liz Glover, but this is not a story about gentlemen. It’s a story about Late Night Shots, and its founder, Reed Landry. LNS is, of course, the closed social website network for binge-drinking Georgetown douchebags chased away to D.C. by their wealthy, exasperated parents, Anyway, our own Liz Glover attended a pleasant soirée a whole month ago, and everyone was enjoying the witty banter and decent champagne when … well, watch the Cinéma Vérité video and read Glover’s report and hear her tragic cries for help, after the jump. MORE »