Tag Archives: creeping sharia

  Snake River Jihad

Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All

Get out of that state, get out of that state you're in. You better beware...
Left: State Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll (R-Cottonwood) Right: The International Radical Islamic Juggernaut, Everywhere But Idaho The Idaho Legislature’s 2015 session came to an exciting end Friday with a small group of nutjob Republicans killing off a bill to enforce child support judgments so Idaho wouldn’t have to fear living under the yoke of radical Islamic law. The decision to kill the bill endangers the state’s access to about $46 million in federal funding and to programs that help with processing child support payments and tracking down delinquent parents. But isn’t that a small price to pay to remain free of the taint of Sharia? Read more on Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All…
  Somehow Forgot To Leave Out A Bowl Of Communion Wafers

Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots

She seems nice
Thursday was “Texas Muslim Capitol Day,” an annual event held to encourage Muslim Texans to visit the state capitol in Austin and learn about state government and how to meet with lawmakers and such. Which means, of course, that a few Patriotic TexAmericans decided that the Muslims were taking over the Capitol so they can CRAM SHARIA LAW DOWN ARE THROATS!!!1!! There were angry protestors out on the statehouse lawn, and state Rep. Molly White left this important message on her FacePlaceSpace: Read more on Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots…
  An Act Of Face

Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect

America now officially over
Get ready for another round of whining about “creeping Sharia,” America. The Supreme Court has ruled that an Arkansas prisoner can grow a beard because he’s a Muslim. The justices said that inmate Gregory Holt could maintain a half-inch beard because Arkansas prison officials could not substantiate claims that the beard posed a security risk. Read more on Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect…
  Sizzling Sharia

Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault

Meat your maker
Back in August, Sneakers, a little bistro in Winooski, Vermont, put a little mock traffic sign in the flower bed in front of the restaurant: “Yield for Sneakers Bacon.” It wasn’t especially well-received by a woman who posted a message to an online community forum, saying that she was a “vegan and member of a Muslim household” and claiming that the sign was “insensitive and offensive to those who do not consume pork.” She noted that Winooski is a diverse community and made an impassioned case over the little sign: Read more on Internet Heroes Defend Vermont’s Bacon From Evil Muslim-Vegan Assault…
  He Also Shares A Name With A Muppet On Socialist Public TV

Victoria Jackson Will Root Out The Muslim Menace (Grover Norquist)

You just knew this would come out
American Hero and unsuccessful county supervisor candidate Victoria Jackson is very concerned about the Muslim Threat in America, of course, and is especially sad to see that even supposed conservatives like Grover Norquist are secretly helping to help Sharia Law creep into Our America. And so she has published a very thoughtful examination of Grover Norquist’s disloyalty to America, in a two-part series that is Just Asking Questions: Is Republican Grover Norquist Connected to Islamic Terrorists? Also, Who is Grover Norquist? Friend or Foe? Read more on Victoria Jackson Will Root Out The Muslim Menace (Grover Norquist)…
  the gang that couldn't bang straight

English Wingnuts Protect Their Beloved Land From ‘Mosque’ That Actually Was A KFC

From Merrie Olde Englande comes this bit of costly stupid: A documentary is set to reveal on Monday how UK police spent £500,000 ($852,000) to control an English Defense League (EDL) far-Right protest against a planned mosque, which happened to be a KFC fast-food branch. The BBC documentary, “Police Under Pressure,” documents how false rumors were spread that a pub was to be turned into a mosque, resulting in the protest in the city of Sheffield. OK, but isn’t the real story here that no mosque was in fact built, and so the xenophobic wingnuts of the EDL saved their city from the horrors of Creeping and Extra Crispy Sharia Law? Why don’t the media recognize the good these fine yobs have done, instead of criticizing and disparaging, eh, wot? Read more on English Wingnuts Protect Their Beloved Land From ‘Mosque’ That Actually Was A KFC…
  aka 'victoria jackson on the brazos'

Texas School Board Lady Sorry She Got Caught Screaming About Muslim Getting Elected

It’s getting to where there is just no freedom at all anymore. Look at poor Jo Lynn Haussmann, a recently elected member of the school board in Keller, Texas, who was only trying to emphasize the importance of voting last week when she posted this important message on her FacePlace account: “Do you realize because SO FEW voters took the time and responsibility to VOTE in the municipal elections – YOU NOW HAVE A ‘MUSLIM’ on the City Council!!! What A SHAME!!!!” See, that is just Voter Education. But since a teevee station aired a screengrab of the now-deleted comment, Haussmann has apologized for it, although it’s not yet clear whether she’ll be held accountable for her crimes against punctuation. Read more on Texas School Board Lady Sorry She Got Caught Screaming About Muslim Getting Elected…
  the golden state of derp

However Will California GOP Choose Between Goldman Sachs Lickspittle And Tea Party Xenophobe?

Out here in California we are locked in a tepid political battle being waged by various brigands, crooks and llama-blowing weirdos for the right to get crushed by incumbent Democrat Jerry Brown in this November’s gubernatorial election. Former Wonkette writer/office concubine Jim Newell recently used his lofty new perch at Salon to take a look at one candidate, a loathsome pile of crap named Neel Kashkari, and found much of what we found when we looked at the guy back in January: the chrome-domed Arnold Vosloo lookalike has some serious baggage. Aside from never having held public office, Kashkari is a former Goldman Sachs investment banker and Hank Paulson acolyte who worked for the Treasury Department as the head of TARP, spending a good chunk of 2008 and 2009 tossing piles of taxpayer money to every Armani-clad Wall Street banker who batted his eyes in Kashkari’s direction. Elizabeth Warren disparaged him in her recent memoir, and if Elizabeth Warren says you’re a prevaricating douche nozzle, the truth is probably even worse. So it would take a heroic effort by another candidate to make a spackle-brained rich boy like Kashkari look almost principled and sympathetic. Oh hi, Tim Donnelly, your ears must be burning! Read more on However Will California GOP Choose Between Goldman Sachs Lickspittle And Tea Party Xenophobe?…
  one nation under paranoia

Stupidest Man On Internet: Arabic Pledge Of Allegiance Makes Founders Cry

Here is the latest outrage against all that is good and holy and just in our once-proud nation: According to the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, “Rocky Mountain High School in Fort Collins replaced “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance with “under Allah.” My god! What is our country coming to? Creeping Sharia has crept right into the National Prayer and killed God dead! Say, would this be a good place to point out that if the Pledge hadn’t been meddled with by God-botherers in 1954, this never would have happened? Read more on Stupidest Man On Internet: Arabic Pledge Of Allegiance Makes Founders Cry…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries

Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your brain before reading further. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries…
  sharia no longer creeping; now does backstroke

Fox & Friends Will Not Let Muslim Girls’ Swim Class Destroy America With Aquatic Sharia

Here is Fox & Friends’ Heather Nauert on the teevee yesterday, explaining how “sharia law” is taking over, because a YMCA in Minneapolis-St. Paul is going to hold a girls-only swim class one hour a week, providing Somali refugee girls the chance to learn to swim. BUT! Since men won’t be allowed in the pool area and the only lifeguards and instructors will be women, this is obviously evidence of, as Nauert puts it, “the minority becoming the majority at one community pool. Sharia law is now changing everything.” Oh, mercy — what do you want to bet that during that hour of swimming classes, they’re going to learn underwater bomb-making, too! Because in Fox Math, a class for girls aged 5 to 17 is now, somehow, the tyrannic “majority.” Read more on Fox & Friends Will Not Let Muslim Girls’ Swim Class Destroy America With Aquatic Sharia…
  will the oppression of southern Christians never cease?

Hero Tennessee Parent Discovers ‘World Culture’ Elective Includes Islam, Hijinks Ensue

A blow for freedom has been struck! Students in Hendersonville, Tennessee, have been saved from the grip of sharia law, and it’s all thanks to alert parents who complained when they found out that an elective World Cultures honors course would be taking a field trip to a Hindu temple and a mosque. Outrage! Horror! The class studies five world religions, but the field trip only visited two houses of worship, one of which is actively trying to take over U.S. America! Concerned step-parent Mike Conner said, “If we as parents don’t begin speaking up, no one will.” How true this is. Thankfully, the wingnuttosphere has raised such a fuss about the threat of honors students learning something about Islam in a unit on world religions that the school has done the only responsible thing, and cancelled the field trip. Talk about a close call! Read more on Hero Tennessee Parent Discovers ‘World Culture’ Elective Includes Islam, Hijinks Ensue…
  color us surprised

Wingnuts: Crayola Will Help The Muslim Hordes Overrun The Infidels

Lo, but the mighty Crayon has fallen in the battle against the Muslin hordes. Yes, the cornerstone drawing tools/occasional snack of your childhood are the latest casualties of creeping Shariah because of Crayola’s terrifying new Ramadan-themed coloring pages. Silver lining: we’ll probably get a lot of use out of that new “Rivers of Blood” color. Read more on Wingnuts: Crayola Will Help The Muslim Hordes Overrun The Infidels…
  creeping sharia versus shrieking hysteria

Huge Breakthrough In Wingnut Physics: Pamela Geller Postulates Unified Field Theory Of Nonsense

High on our list of people we could do without is Pamela Geller, who unlike many popular figures on the extreme right really seems to believe her own hateful, attention-seeking nonsense. Like this marvel (do not click), in which she masterfully (that’s a synonym for awkwardly, right?) links Tom Perez, the Dread Hitler Obama’s nominee for Labor Secretary, to the DOJ “witch hunt” against George Zimmerman AND creeping Sharia AND the New Black Panthers! Obviously, he did Benghazi too. What is up, Miss Geller? Obama and his SS are on the war path. It. is. unbelievable. I am sure they are looking to enact legislation that mirrors the German Weapons Act (gun control, Third Reich) in concert with the lynching of George Zimmerman. Hahaha oh she’s serious. Frown, then. Also drink. Also German Weapons Act? Did that one today, also too. Read more on Huge Breakthrough In Wingnut Physics: Pamela Geller Postulates Unified Field Theory Of Nonsense…
  what if they had a culture war and nobody came?

Relax, Nashville, Your Symphony Hall Is Not Going To Become A Mosque

Nashville paranoids were well and truly trolled last week by a fake website claiming that the city’s Schermerhorn Symphony Center, which had been damaged by severe flooding in 2010 and just last month escaped foreclosure, would soon be converted into a mosque. Vigilant protectors of Constitutional religious freedom all that is good and true and American sprang into action, emailing everyone in creation and putting up a Facebook page to stop the “Shariahorn” (and to protest a scheduled August appearance by Kathy Griffin, because she hurt Jesus’s feelings at the Emmys six years ago). And then, just when the anti-sharia forces were building up a good head of steam, a conservative blogger went and called the whole thing a hoax, citing “some of the people” who had been promoting the beware-the-mosque story. The Nashville Scene followed up with a unique approach: They called the Nashville Symphony and asked if the Schermerhorn was going to become a mosque. Nope. Cue the Adagio for Sad Trombones. Read more on Relax, Nashville, Your Symphony Hall Is Not Going To Become A Mosque…
  nice time!

Your Tuesday Nice Time: DC Imam Marries Gay Couples, For Creeping Sharia

So it turns out there is this super rad Islamic cleric in Washington, DC, who marries gay couples because, like decent people of all faiths, Imam Daayiee Abdullah just ignores the crazy medieval stuff and focuses on the let’s just love each other part of his faith. “I think we’re at the start of a movement: a more inclusive Islam in America,” says Abdullah, who runs Washington’s Light of Reform mosque and is thought to be the only publicly gay Muslim leader in the Western Hemisphere. “So if you have any same-sex marriages,” he says with a soft smile and a shrug, “I’m available.” Some young Muslims in attendance mumble, “Wow!” and “Seriously?” Seriously. Let’s count the reasons why this is seriously nice: Read more on Your Tuesday Nice Time: DC Imam Marries Gay Couples, For Creeping Sharia…
  Remember the Allah-Mo!

Investigation Looks for ‘Muslim Bias’ in Texas Schools, Finds Christian Bias Instead (So It’s Not Biased, Of Course)

Anyone who thinks that school districts aren’t responsive to community concerns should talk to district and school board members of the Irving, Texas, Independent School District. When they received a clearly insane chain email claiming that a curriculum used in the schools was “INDOCTRINATING ISLAM,” they didn’t just delete it and go back to looking at porn and forwarding jokes about Barack Obama, no siree — they promptly demanded an investigation to see if their textbooks really were packed full of Islamist propaganda. You will be relieved to know that a 72-page report by the organization that provides the curriculum to the schools found that, instead of Muslim bias, the curriculum is actually far more biased toward Christianity, just the way Jesus and Thomas Jefferson wanted it to be. Read more on Investigation Looks for ‘Muslim Bias’ in Texas Schools, Finds Christian Bias Instead (So It’s Not Biased, Of Course)…
  Fog of WTF?

Congresscritter Louie Gohmert: Why’d Obama Go And Kill That Nice Kaddafi?

Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Edge Of Obscurity), after a political season in which his sterling record of saying pure unadulterated crazy shit was nearly eclipsed by the likes of Todd Akin and Allen West, would just like to tell these young upstarts to sit back and watch how an professional goes Full Gohmert. And so, speaking on one-note paranoid Frank “Sharia is Creeping Into My Pants” Gaffney’s radio show, Rep. Gohmert offered a creative new twist on the thesis that the President of the United States is secretly a Muslin who wants to establish a Worldwide Caliphate. Gaffney, you may recall, is the genius who thought Obama forced the US Missile Defense Agency to change its logo to incorporate an Islamic crescent to signal his “submission to Shariah,” and latter waged war against the letter “C” for similar reasons. Read more on Congresscritter Louie Gohmert: Why’d Obama Go And Kill That Nice Kaddafi?…
  can we get an amen?

Michele Bachmann Is Eternally Hilarious, Airplane Reading Edition

Well doesn’t this just appear to be a promising comedy setup? Let’s just end the tension right now and tell you in advance, it is. But you knew this: It is a universal law of Reason that because Michele Bachmann does not believe in it, even seemingly mundane activities like Michele Bachmann sitting on an airplane next to a person with a Twitter account must bear comedy fruit. Today’s episode (which begins after the jump) answers the question, “What is Michele Bachmann reading these days?” Hint: IS CREEPY SHARIA CREEPING? Read more on Michele Bachmann Is Eternally Hilarious, Airplane Reading Edition…
  no country for old bigots

Islamophobe Nuts Decry Sharia Takeover of Nashville Hotel

The vicious professional Muslim-haters of the anti-religious freedom organization “Preserving Freedom Conference” were all set to make their pretty pennies holding a sweaty, paranoid circle jerk for Islamo-fear fetishists at the Hutton Hotel in Nashville, but the mean venue owners canceled their booking contract after they realized it might be bad for business to be seen hosting a gathering of feverish bigots. This, of course, can mean only one thing: BLAME THE SHARIA WITCH MAGIC, and organizers promptly declared the hotel under the spell of Allah’s oppressor demons.  Read more on Islamophobe Nuts Decry Sharia Takeover of Nashville Hotel…
  duh

A New Poll About Americans’ Hatred Of Muslims, Just In Time For 9/11

Get out your miniature American flags and get ready for all those chain e-mails from Grandma because it’s almost that time of year again! It has now been ten years since 9/11, which means America has had ten years to grieve, reflect, and cultivate limitless hatred for a religion we can’t even begin to understand. This is the general conclusion of a survey conducted by the Brookings Institutionthe Public Religion Research Institute that dared to ask, “Just how ignorant are we?” And because we are the BEST COUNTRY EVER CREATED BY GOD we have of course won the championship Gold Medal of Ignorance. Patriot victory laps around the neighborhood mosque! Read more on A New Poll About Americans’ Hatred Of Muslims, Just In Time For 9/11…