Tag Archives: creationism

  The Dunning-Kruger Effect In Action

Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science

she's as enthusiastic as ever!
We’re sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox — not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre “audit” of Chicago’s Field Museum became a viral must-see last fall. She did a follow-up visit to a zoo, where she explained that hunters have saved the wild animals of “Zambibia,” but while her eyes are just as crazy as ever, her schtick was already growing old. Now she’s back with a new multi-part exploration of Kentucky’s Creation Museum, and — would you believe this? — where she was awfully skeptical of all the “science” in the Field Museum, she finds the Creation Museum “pretty convincing.” Read more on Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science…
  Enlightening the Lightheaded

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deepak Chopra Has Derp Thoughts About Evolution

Close enough.
Greetings, grifters! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly installment of the latest and greatest in quantum woo woo and pseudoscience. This week we have a return guest! Our favorite Oprah-approved king of quackery. No, not that one. The other one. No, not the guy with the muppet mustache. The OTHER other one. Yeah, Deepak Chopra! That “wholeness regulates dimensional reality” asshole. He has some thinking thoughts for all you naysayers who say he’s full of … nay, and he’s going to blast those Deep Thoughts right atcha. Let’s cascade our potentiality into this pile of conscious awareness. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deepak Chopra Has Derp Thoughts About Evolution…
  learning 'science'

Dumb Duggar Girl And Dumb Husband Explain Atheists Don’t Exist (Kind Of Like God)

There is something in Texas called the Institute for Creation Research, and one of the reality-TV-for-Christ girl Duggars took a field trip to it, with her husband. This is the same Duggar who field tripped to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC, where she learned that Charles Darwin did the Holocaust with his just-a-theory of evolution, so abortions are bad. (Homeschooling for the win!) Read more on Dumb Duggar Girl And Dumb Husband Explain Atheists Don’t Exist (Kind Of Like God)…
  Nobody Expects The Science Inquisition!

Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead

It’s spring, so it’s time for the Louisiana state legislature’s annual competition for who can come up with the stupidest rationale to keep the awful “Louisiana Science Education Act” (LSEA), an anti-evolution law that’s been in place since 2008. This year’s winner is state Sen. Elbert Guillory (R-Opelousas Doopity Doo), who reminded his colleagues of the horrors of scientific consensus, like back in olden times when scientists were so sure the Earth was flat that they burned nonbelievers at the stake. Nobody expects the Science Inquisition! Read more on Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead…
  Jesus Built My Critical Thinking

Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys

'Maybe God made a monkey that doesn't like to think it's a monkey, and lies a lot.' -- Joe Rogan
This is exciting! Alabama state Rep. Mack “Not a Porn Name” Butler has introduced a bill that will encourage students to “think critically” about science by allowing teachers greater latitude to add stuff to science classes that isn’t so much science as not science, so everyone can learn more better! As Butler explains on his highly amusing Facebook page, it’s all about freedom and openness, and learning that we didn’t come from monkeys! Read more on Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys…
  Don't Know Much About History (And Don't Need To)

Oh Good, Gov. Bobby Jindal ‘Wrote’ A History ‘Book’

Did you know you can buy one of these cool hats without attending a single college class? Pretty cool deal.
Louisiana, as you may have heard, isn’t a state that’s all that big on forcing education into people. Its public schools are being dismantled through aggressive “school choice” vouchers that use precious taxpayer dollars to fund religious schools, including some without libraries — just as long as they don’t include any weird religions that don’t have Jesus in them. The state encourages teachers to bring in their own alternate instructional materials to help students think critically about the lies of science. And in the current legislative session, Louisiana is fixing to cut funding higher education by as much as 82 percent, which could lead to entire academic departments being eliminated. Louisiana State University is drafting the academic equivalent of a plan to file for bankruptcy, to have it ready, just in case. But there’s no need to panic. Gov. Bobby Jindal has plans to rescue Louisiana education in at least one academic subject: He’s publishing a history book in October. Read more on Oh Good, Gov. Bobby Jindal ‘Wrote’ A History ‘Book’…
  No not his Catholic church his other church

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.
Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin’, homo-hatin,’ and a sincerely held religious belief that Jesus rode a dinosaur. But how can a person be both Catholic and Baptist at the same time? Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp…
  The answer is 4.5 billion years

How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!

Barely Legal?
How old is the Earth? The Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old. How do we know that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old? Magic Science. tl;dr: A bunch of people who know a lot of stuff did all these studies, and reviewed the evidence, and did some other sciencey things, and then they came to this broad consensus, 4.5 billion years. Read more on How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!…
  Video Nice Time!

Here’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson On Space Aliens To Make Your Monday All Better (Video)

Neil explains how it all works.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is our favorite science dude — on the teevee, at least, because Oliver Sacks mostly sticks to books — and here is a video of 23 minutes of Tyson Being Tyson, explaining the problem with UFOs: once you’ve got that “Unidentified” part taken care of, that’s where you should just stop. It doesn’t follow that it’s a spaceship from another planet (or dimension or timeline…). The fun, of course, is in the explanation: Forget Roswell, says Tyson, because Read more on Here’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson On Space Aliens To Make Your Monday All Better (Video)…
 

The Snake Oil Bulletin: I See Bullsh*t in Your Future

Greetings, Comrades! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly compendium of charlatans and rapscallions just waiting to sell you health, wealth, and salvation if only you’ll give them your money. We’ve got a full pan of bullshit to sift through if we’re going to find that gold nugget of hilarity, so let’s waste no time and get right down to it. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: I See Bullsh*t in Your Future…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

We really can all get along. *CHOMP!*
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  This does NOT mean wingnuts are just like ISIS

ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!

Ha ha ha, sometimes there are Serious News Headlines that just make a person fall into fits of LOL-giggles, and Talking Points Memo has served one up! We were just clicking through our Facebook, or maybe our news reader, we cannot remember, we were drinking, and saw the news that “ISIS Bans Teaching Evolution In Schools.” Extremist terrorist Muslims and wingnut Christians, they are just like us each other! Read more on ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines

Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!
Gosh golly, Wonkers, have we got a fine load of Dumbth for you this week! We heard from global warming deniers, a creationist, an anti-vaxxer, and a genuine neo-Confederate Southern Patriot who apparently does not actually realize which side lost the War of Southern Treason. Obviously, we need to start with that special snowflake first. Our Friday story about the League of the South’s Lincoln’s-Birthday commemoration of John Wilkes Booth drew a comment from one “Pat Hines,” who has featured in previous Dear Shitferbrains columns. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines…
  Also The Episode On Gravity Completely Ignored 'Intelligent Falling'

Creationists Name Neil deGrasse Tyson ‘Censor Of The Year’ For Cutting God From ‘Cosmos’

But how do you know that's true? ATHEISTS 0, GOD 1!!!!
Neil deGrasse Tyson has won himself yet another accolade! The creationist Discovery Institute has named Tyson “Censor of the Year” for his outstanding achievement in “thwarting an open and informed discussion of science and scientific controversies” — in other words, for insisting that evolution is real science and not recognizing that creationism is totally real science, too. Here’s part of their Very Science-Based citation, from Discovery Institute’s very neutral-sounding website “Evolution News and Views” (ENV): Read more on Creationists Name Neil deGrasse Tyson ‘Censor Of The Year’ For Cutting God From ‘Cosmos’…
  Origin Of Sheeshes

Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing

Hey, what do I know?
While visiting London “The one in England” England Wednesday, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was asked if he thinks the theory of evolution is true. Apparently unable to remember the Republican Magic Words “I’m not a scientist, man,” he instead replied “I’m going to punt on that one,” adding that an established scientific theory that’s taught in universities and high schools worldwide is “a question a politician shouldn’t be involved in one way or another.” Or maybe he just didn’t get that far at Marquette University before he dropped out of college. Read more on Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing…
  Antlers In Genesis

Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Don't forget First Man and Coyote, either!
Delaware Gov. Jack Markell has declared Charles Darwin’s birthday, Feb. 12, to be “Charles Darwin Day,” and a bill has been introduced in the U.S. Congress to do the same. Not that the current House would pass it. But hilarious wingnut creationist Ken Ham will not let these official recognitions of The Enemy go unanswered, so he’s declared Feb. 12 to be “Darwin Was Wrong Day.” Presumably he’ll celebrate by going to the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History and shouting “Nyeah, Nyeah, Nyeah! Were you THERE?” all day. Read more on Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real…
  Science: Don't Let It Happen To Your Kids!

Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality

Republican science standards adopted
Congratulations go out to the great state of Utah, which is in the process of revising its state science education standards for the first time in nearly 20 years. The new proposed standards will be phased in, starting with grades six, seven, and eight, and will emphasize more direct, hands-on experimentation along with classroom lectures and labs, to encourage scientific thinking. But this being a Wonkette story that doesn’t have “Nice Time” in the headline, you already know, Dear Reader, what’s coming next: there’s just one or two teensy-tiny problems that some people are having with bringing Utah’s science education into the 21st century, and they have to do with the fact that the proposed science standards include too much darned science for some people’s tastes. Because of complaints from parents, the Utah Board of Education has put on hold plans to move the new standards to their next stage, a public-comment period. Read more on Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality…
  that is not what the B-I-B-U-L says

Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality

It’s that special time of the year. The Super Bowl is over, we are still reeling (or happy, if you’re into that sort of thing) over the Worst Play Call In History, and wingnuts have now had a couple days to decide which of the commercials were the evilest and demonic-est of them all. Ken Ham, that creationist nutbag who debated Bill Nye The Science Guy last year, and who is pretty sure that all nonexistent aliens burn in hell, has made his decision, and the winner of this year’s post-Super Bowl Two Minutes Hate will be Carnival Cruise Lines, who had the utter gall to make a commercial that featured a nice quote from John F. Kennedy, about how we all love the ocean because we used to live there before we lost our gills during Evil-lution. Here is that Kennedy quote, for your handy reference: Read more on Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality…
  insert your own ball joke

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls

We were doing our goddamned level best not to care about or pay attention to the sportsball controversy some moron decided to call Deflategate, because everything needs a fucking “-gate” suffix, because every-fucking-thing is just like Richard Nixon ratfucking the country. Whenever the conversation at our happy hour/cocktail party/coke-fueled orgy turned to the subject of whether Tom Brady had deflated his footballs to give his football team some sort of advantage or another over the opposing football team, our response was always the same: Read more on Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls…
  From the Makers of Trepanning

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!

Fresh out of butt jokes this week.
Greetings and Salutations, friends! Do you have aches and pains what ail you? Are you afflicted by rheumatism, King’s evil, and the French pox? Do you seek the fantastical cures to these maladies and more, and maybe a little tincture to rattle your marriage bed? Well you won’t find them here, by gumption. Nay, friends, for in this traveling medicine show you’ll find a rundown of the choicest concoctions of bull pucky, bunk, and pseudoscience to grace our marvelous steam-powered electro-web! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…