Tag Archives: creationism

  Video Nice Time!

Here’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson On Space Aliens To Make Your Monday All Better (Video)

Neil explains how it all works.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is our favorite science dude — on the teevee, at least, because Oliver Sacks mostly sticks to books — and here is a video of 23 minutes of Tyson Being Tyson, explaining the problem with UFOs: once you’ve got that “Unidentified” part taken care of, that’s where you should just stop. It doesn’t follow that it’s a spaceship from another planet (or dimension or timeline…). The fun, of course, is in the explanation: Forget Roswell, says Tyson, because Read more on Here’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson On Space Aliens To Make Your Monday All Better (Video)…
 

The Snake Oil Bulletin: I See Bullsh*t in Your Future

Greetings, Comrades! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly compendium of charlatans and rapscallions just waiting to sell you health, wealth, and salvation if only you’ll give them your money. We’ve got a full pan of bullshit to sift through if we’re going to find that gold nugget of hilarity, so let’s waste no time and get right down to it. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: I See Bullsh*t in Your Future…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

We really can all get along. *CHOMP!*
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  This does NOT mean wingnuts are just like ISIS

ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!

Ha ha ha, sometimes there are Serious News Headlines that just make a person fall into fits of LOL-giggles, and Talking Points Memo has served one up! We were just clicking through our Facebook, or maybe our news reader, we cannot remember, we were drinking, and saw the news that “ISIS Bans Teaching Evolution In Schools.” Extremist terrorist Muslims and wingnut Christians, they are just like us each other! Read more on ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines

Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!
Gosh golly, Wonkers, have we got a fine load of Dumbth for you this week! We heard from global warming deniers, a creationist, an anti-vaxxer, and a genuine neo-Confederate Southern Patriot who apparently does not actually realize which side lost the War of Southern Treason. Obviously, we need to start with that special snowflake first. Our Friday story about the League of the South’s Lincoln’s-Birthday commemoration of John Wilkes Booth drew a comment from one “Pat Hines,” who has featured in previous Dear Shitferbrains columns. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines…
  Also The Episode On Gravity Completely Ignored 'Intelligent Falling'

Creationists Name Neil deGrasse Tyson ‘Censor Of The Year’ For Cutting God From ‘Cosmos’

But how do you know that's true? ATHEISTS 0, GOD 1!!!!
Neil deGrasse Tyson has won himself yet another accolade! The creationist Discovery Institute has named Tyson “Censor of the Year” for his outstanding achievement in “thwarting an open and informed discussion of science and scientific controversies” — in other words, for insisting that evolution is real science and not recognizing that creationism is totally real science, too. Here’s part of their Very Science-Based citation, from Discovery Institute’s very neutral-sounding website “Evolution News and Views” (ENV): Read more on Creationists Name Neil deGrasse Tyson ‘Censor Of The Year’ For Cutting God From ‘Cosmos’…
  Origin Of Sheeshes

Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing

Hey, what do I know?
While visiting London “The one in England” England Wednesday, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was asked if he thinks the theory of evolution is true. Apparently unable to remember the Republican Magic Words “I’m not a scientist, man,” he instead replied “I’m going to punt on that one,” adding that an established scientific theory that’s taught in universities and high schools worldwide is “a question a politician shouldn’t be involved in one way or another.” Or maybe he just didn’t get that far at Marquette University before he dropped out of college. Read more on Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing…
  Antlers In Genesis

Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real

Don't forget First Man and Coyote, either!
Delaware Gov. Jack Markell has declared Charles Darwin’s birthday, Feb. 12, to be “Charles Darwin Day,” and a bill has been introduced in the U.S. Congress to do the same. Not that the current House would pass it. But hilarious wingnut creationist Ken Ham will not let these official recognitions of The Enemy go unanswered, so he’s declared Feb. 12 to be “Darwin Was Wrong Day.” Presumably he’ll celebrate by going to the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History and shouting “Nyeah, Nyeah, Nyeah! Were you THERE?” all day. Read more on Creationists: Darwin Was Wrong And Unicorns Are Real…
  Science: Don't Let It Happen To Your Kids!

Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality

Republican science standards adopted
Congratulations go out to the great state of Utah, which is in the process of revising its state science education standards for the first time in nearly 20 years. The new proposed standards will be phased in, starting with grades six, seven, and eight, and will emphasize more direct, hands-on experimentation along with classroom lectures and labs, to encourage scientific thinking. But this being a Wonkette story that doesn’t have “Nice Time” in the headline, you already know, Dear Reader, what’s coming next: there’s just one or two teensy-tiny problems that some people are having with bringing Utah’s science education into the 21st century, and they have to do with the fact that the proposed science standards include too much darned science for some people’s tastes. Because of complaints from parents, the Utah Board of Education has put on hold plans to move the new standards to their next stage, a public-comment period. Read more on Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality…
  that is not what the B-I-B-U-L says

Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality

It’s that special time of the year. The Super Bowl is over, we are still reeling (or happy, if you’re into that sort of thing) over the Worst Play Call In History, and wingnuts have now had a couple days to decide which of the commercials were the evilest and demonic-est of them all. Ken Ham, that creationist nutbag who debated Bill Nye The Science Guy last year, and who is pretty sure that all nonexistent aliens burn in hell, has made his decision, and the winner of this year’s post-Super Bowl Two Minutes Hate will be Carnival Cruise Lines, who had the utter gall to make a commercial that featured a nice quote from John F. Kennedy, about how we all love the ocean because we used to live there before we lost our gills during Evil-lution. Here is that Kennedy quote, for your handy reference: Read more on Creationists Mad At JFK, The Ocean, Carnival Cruise Lines, The Super Bowl, Reality…
  insert your own ball joke

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls

We were doing our goddamned level best not to care about or pay attention to the sportsball controversy some moron decided to call Deflategate, because everything needs a fucking “-gate” suffix, because every-fucking-thing is just like Richard Nixon ratfucking the country. Whenever the conversation at our happy hour/cocktail party/coke-fueled orgy turned to the subject of whether Tom Brady had deflated his footballs to give his football team some sort of advantage or another over the opposing football team, our response was always the same: Read more on Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Fascists Who Can’t Read Good Blames Liberals For Tom Brady’s Deflated Balls…
  From the Makers of Trepanning

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!

Fresh out of butt jokes this week.
Greetings and Salutations, friends! Do you have aches and pains what ail you? Are you afflicted by rheumatism, King’s evil, and the French pox? Do you seek the fantastical cures to these maladies and more, and maybe a little tincture to rattle your marriage bed? Well you won’t find them here, by gumption. Nay, friends, for in this traveling medicine show you’ll find a rundown of the choicest concoctions of bull pucky, bunk, and pseudoscience to grace our marvelous steam-powered electro-web! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…
  The Elephants Are Kindly But They're Dumb

Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’

Megan Fox and reptilian overlord
Fresh off her brilliant destruction of evolution at Chicago’s Field Museum — accomplished by calling science “stupid” and noting that nobody saw what happened 450 million years ago, so shut up — homeschooling mom and amateur conservative skeptic Megan Fox has trained her keen analytical eye on the Brookfield Zoo. She conducts an “audit” — it sounds so professional! — of the exhibits to expose “the Left’s propaganda, lies, and evidence of the cult of Scientism at work.” We hate to disappoint you, kids, but her very limited success as a YouTube phenomenon has already spoiled Megan Fox. After the brilliant science-bashing idiocy of her visit to the Field Museum, her exposé of the zoo is a classic case of sophomore slump. The crazy eyes and manic stupidity are still there, but the magic? The magic is gone. Read more on Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’…
  When Dunning Met Kruger

Homeschool Mom Disproves Evolution Because Science Museum Is Stupid

We know what we're talking about, right?
Meet Megan Fox, who is not the dopey actress from the Transformers movies, but is instead a dopey homeschooling mom who doesn’t believe that  organisms transform over time. She has her very own YouTube channel where she reviews children’s books and pursues a single-minded crusade against corruption on the public library board of Orland Park, Illinois. Read more on Homeschool Mom Disproves Evolution Because Science Museum Is Stupid…
  The Origin Of Specious

Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed

We have no context for this image. But Charles Darwin WILL learn you on this.
If it’s Sunday, it must be time for another foray into the mind of Colorado radio man o’ God and homeschooling big wheel Kevin Swanson, the genius who warns that the Girl Scouts are communist lesbians whose cookies fund abortions and lesbianism, although we aren’t sure why lesbians are having all those abortions anyway. We’ve been delving into Swanson’s 2013 freshman term paper book Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, a sloppy little history of the ideas and thinkers who have been ruining Western Culture by making it what we think of as “Western Culture.” Last week, we learned that Karl Marx was a monster who starved his children (no he wasn’t) and who was driven by actual contact with demons. This week, it’s Charles Darwin’s turn to get Swansoned, although we suppose it’s possible that even after Apostate has completely dismantled him, Darwin may still be considered important, because people are just that stubborn and prone to evil. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed…
  E. Coli Now Smarter Than Creationists!

Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust

Actually, we might go to this conference...
Thanks to some help from a campus student group, Michigan State University’s campus in East Lansing gets to host a great big Creationism conference, not that the university itself is particularly excited about the prospect of bringing in a bunch of goofballs to argue that Darwin = Hitler. Read more on Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust…
  clipbait

This Neato Video On Evolution Won’t Convince Creationists Of Anything

Those Neanderthal ponies are scary. The world of 1983 was primitive and brutal.
Here’s a pretty nifty science video from Interwebs science project Stated Clearly, a project aimed at making science stuff more easily accessible. We ran across it over at RawStory, where Arturo Garcia, ever the optimist, says that this brief look at the evidence for evolution “should come in handy for anyone debating the issue with creationists.” Haha, that is a nice dream you have, and we were young and hopeful once, too! Garcia is right about one thing — you may indeed be glad to be armed with facts, which is always a good thing; just don’t have any illusion that mere scientific reality will convince a creationist of anything. Read more on This Neato Video On Evolution Won’t Convince Creationists Of Anything…
  Uterine Clown Car Survivor Speaks Out

Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right

Just as Darwin Demanded
Reality Teevee show person Jessa Duggar went to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC, and came away believing that Charles Darwin led directly to the Nazis’ attempted extermination of European Jewry, which suggests that the museum’s docents really need to up their game. Ms. Duggar, 21, explained on Instagram the profound anti-science message that she derived from the historical exhibits: Read more on Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right…
  Also God Makes Icebergs Shaped Like Dicks

Photoshopped Cow With Map Of The World Proves Creationism Is Real

Do you ever wish Dok weren’t on vacation? US TOO! Because here is a “Special Offer for WND Readers,” and it is a picture of a cow with a map on it that proves … God gave people Photoshop? Unclear. But oh, haha, “CreationMoments” is not stupid. They know there might possibly maybe be some Photoshop trickery, in this random cow picture they found on the internet. BUT WHO MADE THE COW? Huh Mr. Smartypants Atheist Hellbound Snootmeister What Is Probly a Jew? WHO DID THAT? Read more on Photoshopped Cow With Map Of The World Proves Creationism Is Real…