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Posts Tagged ‘CRAZY PEOPLE’

GOD'S WORK

So That Insane Indiscriminate Book Burning?: Three Penguin Classics In An Indoor Garbage Can

Friday, November 13th, 2009


Recall the famed Halloween Book Burning Plot of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church, at which a piece of music’s or book’s very existence alone was enough to place it squarely on the side of the Devil, Satan. Satan was most displeased, for how would he convince people to come be homosexuals with him in hell without… contemporary Christian music! This is why the book burning was held indoors, in a single garbage can, where Satan has no jurisdiction. MORE »


COMFORTING PREDICTABILITY OF THE INTERNET

It Is About Time Someone (Obviously Jerome Corsi) Linked The Ft. Hood Shooter To Obama

Friday, November 6th, 2009

It has been let’s see, around 20 hours or something since the Ft. Hood massacre, so it was weird that someone who lives on the Internet hadn’t suggested a connection between Obama and alleged gunman Nidal Malik Hasan. So yes, quite sorry for the delay, but conspiracy theorist dilettante Jerome Corsi would like to do just that! So get this: last May, GWU held some vague security brainstorming transition task force thing that does not actually offer security or transition advice to the President. There’s a document and everything. That’s part A, of the theory. Parts B-Z? MORE »


CRAZY PEOPLE

Monday, October 26th, 2009

WHOA HEY COLLEGETHE WEEKEND’S MOST SHOCKING NEWS: From this George Will column in which he praises Michele Bachmann “George Will style” (huffs gently in approval): “When [Bachmann] was a teenager in Anoka, Minn., she was a nanny for a young girl named Gretchen Carlson. Today, Carlson, a Stanford honors graduate who studied at Oxford, is a host of ‘Fox & Friends,’ the morning show on — wouldn’t you know — Fox News Channel.” We knew the whole “Gretchen Carlson” character was just some over-educated alien’s performance art. Where did the Michele Bachmann touch you, Gretchen? [Washington Post]


SASSY ALLITERATIONS

Bill Donohue’s Washington Post Opinion Column Is Even Greater Than Casually ‘Aborting [Your] Kids’

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Would anyone mind if the Washington Post just declared Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League, the winner of the amateur pundit talent show immediately? Donohue was a “guest voice” yesterday on Jon Meacham and Sally Quinn’s religion thing, in which he heroically thought of this one alliteration: “America’s Secular Saboteurs.” He’s like, “The culture war is up for grabs. The good news is that religious conservatives continue to breed like rabbits, while secular saboteurs have shut down: they’re too busy walking their dogs, going to bathhouses and aborting their kids. Time, it seems, is on the side of the angels.” But like actually. MORE »


ARGUABLY BETTER THAN THE OLYMPICS

More On Obama’s Gold Medal For Peace, With RedState.com Reaction Shotzz!

Friday, October 9th, 2009

So! Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this morning and everyone on Earth—and the moon, way 2 stick it out moon!—could not be more surprised. Look at Robert Gibbs, just cold saying “wow” on a Twitter thing belonging to CBS person Mark Knoller! And “Erick Erickson,” some sort of retarded cousin of Robbie Robertson and #1 journalist on top Internet destination RedState.com is just a little caught off guard because he “did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota for it.” Someone get Erick Erickson every single gold medal from the 2016 Olympics. MORE »


PEGGY'S WORLD

Peggy Noonan Sees a Bright, Insane Future

Friday, April 17th, 2009

Shining nutcase on a hill.Friday! Peggy! She has predictions, for you, your dogs, your hair, and especially for your abandoned skyscrapers. Peggy Noonan does not simply sit in her Upper East Side apartment gulping whisky sours while breathlessly watching RedTube clips, her small nervous hands clutching her crucifix, and other things. No! She looks outside, sometimes. She long suspected something was a bit different out there — once, not so many months ago, she ventured out on foot. Things had changed. The bustle was gone, the Mexican was no longer handing out advertisements and then running, in terror, as Peggy Noonan yelled Reagan-esque platitudes and tried to … catch this Mexican. It is hard to catch household slaves. It is a game for the young, really. Peggy remembers when she was young. It was the Seventies. MORE »


CRAZY PEOPLE

Wingnut Provides Comical Audio Regarding Tedisco-Murphy House Race

Friday, March 20th, 2009

There’s a very important GOP-RNC renewal campaign happening right now in New York State. This one Republican guy, Jim Tedisco, is fighting Democrat Scott Murphy for Kirsten Gillibrand’s seat, because she’s now Hillary Clinton. Exciting! So exciting, in fact, that a whole lot of wingnuts have taken over Tedisco’s campaign. And if you listen to this audio, you can hear how the National Republican Trust PAC is making so many friends in Albany. WHERE IS JIM TEDISCO’S BIRTH CERTIFICATE HE SOUNDS LIKE COMMUNIST CHINESE. [Albany Times Union]


COOTS

Old Coot In Utah Has Theory About Obama And Nuclear Warfare, So Listen Up

Monday, December 15th, 2008

The mean cads at the Los Angeles Times recently discovered a crazy person’s letter to the editor in some tiny, rural Utah newspaper and — due to the meanness — decided to travel all the way out to his lair so as to exploit the craziness for a big city feature. Some people in this world, right? And as a result, now we have to write about this poor old man and his hilarious theories about nuclear war, Obama, and the Mormons. Everyone is awful. Let’s get to know the one good man in this world, Leeland Freeborn, a.k.a. the “Parowan Prophet.” MORE »


GRETA VAN SUSTEREN

Fox News Nut Invents Conspiracy

Friday, December 12th, 2008

Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain.Mush-mouthed Fox News hostess Greta Van Susteren — remember her? — is apparently still doing teevee broadcasts about that white gal who disappeared from an island beach resort about 10 years ago. There are people still talking about this! Not anybody you’d know, but still! So, not only does Greta V. continue to have a cable-news program, but she has also been provided with a blog on the FoxNews site. (Hey, even your editor has a blog on the FoxNews site, so it is not that big a deal.) You must read the incredible new conspiracy this person has invented, on her blog, while riding on a train — which prevents her from linking to Internet stories, on her blog, for some reason! Fucking trains! MORE »


FBI

Thursday, November 29th, 2007

Attorney General Mukasey announced today that the FBI had added more than 220,000 crazy people to its list of people prohibited from owning guns that gun dealers are supposed to check - since June. Only 28 states currently provide the FBI with any data about dangerously mentally ill people who probably shouldn’t be toting guns around. [Washington Post]


JOHN KERRY

John Kerry Abandons Book Tour, Joins Cult

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

A few weeks back Barack Obama was making his way around a post-rally scrum when he got a question from a 9/11 conspiracy theorist truth advocate. He handled it adroitly. This brings us to the subject of John Kerry.
MORE »