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Hey remember that insane Catholic preacher who was all, “Hillary Clinton cried in New Hampshire because she was white”? Well, now he has apologized. And, true to the Modern Religious Figure’s Apology Template, he apologized “if anybody was offended,” rather than for shouting a bunch of shouty garbage in a church. Barack Obama has performed another summary round of rejection and denunciation, and let us never speak of this again. [CNN]
Way back in the early 1990s, America learned the hard way that strange e-mails from people with AOL e-mail addresses like “krazi hott lucey” are not “hott” even if they are “krazi.” In other words, Hillary’s special group of educationally challenged “white women” are going to launch a War of Horror against this country, America, that will make Ron Paul’s Revolution look like LOVE spelled backwards. Read the curiously misspelled warning, after the jump.
From: Krazihottkelli@aolcom
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzIf hillary getz screwed over by obama,
white voterz and uz Florida voterz will
make sure we put MCCAINZ WAR MONGER AZZ IN
Charley Crist, My Florida govenor moved up
our primay so he could be john mccainz
vice prezident…my votez not going to
count..thiz iz my very first vote in my
WHOLE EFFEN LIFE ..AND ITZ FOR HILLARY
AND HE STOLE IT..AND I’M PIZZED…SO IF
HILLARY DOEZN’T GET IN…THERE ARE GOING
TO BE A BUNCH OF PIZZED OFF WHITE WOMAN
THAT WILL BE REALLY TO KILL OR FIGHT
SOMEONE..MAYBE EVEN A WHOLE EFFEN COUNTRY.
ZZZZ I WANT MY EFFEN VOTE/I WANT MY HILLARY…NOW..SHE HAZ THE MOZT
VOTEZ..ANDTHE ”’BATTLEGROUND KEY STATES ”’ THAT
BEATZ MCCAINZ 666 YRZ. OF WAR..
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
You should really check out this column that’s been floating around since last week, if you have not yet done so: “A full-blooded American.” Random columnist Kathleen Parker quotes a 24-year-old West Virginian who said he will vote for John McCain over Barack Obama because he would be more comfortable with “someone who is a full-blooded American as president.” Kathleen Parker, um, agrees, noting that “it’s about blood equity, heritage and commitment to hard-won American values. And roots,” that makes certain candidates “get” America. This Kathleen Parker is actually married to Lord Voldemort. [Jewish World Review via Matt Yglesias]
Peggy Noonan sees the world through a special pair of eyes — eyes that were pried out of Ronald Reagan’s head just moments after he tragically passed away in 1989. How do we know this? Because a women’s website asked Peg about shoes. MORE »
From: Will Duke
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Why can’t I find any coverage of the upcoming fraud case against the Clintons? It’s set for october and would surely hurt the the democrat’s chances if she’s the nominee… MORE »
CRAZY JIM WEBB WON’T NOT BE VEEP: Gun-nut Senator Jim Webb refuses to refuse accepting a vice-president nomination, presumably from Obama, but possibly from fellow Republican crazy Vietnam vet John McCain. [MTV News]
With nothing better to do these days, Ron Paul and his crazed followers bum-rushed the Nevada Republican Convention in Reno on Saturday — and they upended the whole process, which was supposed to be an “Oh well let’s give our Romney support to McCain since he is apparently the nominee.” They voted to change the party’s rules and seize the state’s delegates for Dr. Congressman Ron Paul! Hilarious! Then, convention chairman Bob Beers shut down the whole event, claiming the Peppermill Casino was going to kick them out for continuing beyond 5 p.m., which was a total lie, so the Paultards tried to kill him, and he barely escaped with his life! MORE »
America’s finest opinion-writer-of, Peggy Noonan, recently visited an airport somewhere — possibly in West Texas, Oklahoma or Central California. She is the Merle Haggard of the Jet Age, the Woody Guthrie of business travel. Also, she is an old white lady and the TSA minorities are sticking the beeping wand between her withered old thighs, and that ain’t right! It’s unnatural, as she is not even an Arab! Let’s enjoy an Okie-Dog of Metaphors with the Op-Ed Princess of Bloomingdale’s, after the jump.
As long as you’re on John McCain’s side — you know, as long as you’re either a journalist or a lobbyist — the old man will charm you with stories of his dirty deeds, and he’ll crudely insult the president’s daughter, and eat your donuts. But for the people who actually have to work with the elderly opportunist in, say, the Senate, John McCain is a furious stupid monster. Let’s review the latest “McCain’s a dangerous old psychopath” story, from Sunday’s Washington Post. MORE »
Bush-groping robot-loving Foster MILF Michele Bachmann is America’s favorite Republican lady congressperson from Minnesota, but is the baby-farming beauty getting busy with a fellow lawmaker who is not her husband? Read the hot rumor that is suddenly sweeping the state, after the jump. MORE »
America’s greatest living political columnist, Peggy Noonan, has a heartbreaking new essay in the Wall Street Journal. Poor Peggers loved the previous, cute pope so much — she even wrote a book about him! — and now she’s stuck with this creepy old German with hollow eyes and the kind of personality that was really only effective in the military, during World War II, in Germany. MORE »
