December 9, 2013
This year, we saw some stellar legitimate candidates for Congress who were crazy and won their party’s nomination, such as Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell. But there were also some other, more mentally unstable longshot candidates. These candidates brought interesting new personalities and ideas to the fore, such as the notion of traffic-stop slavery, that [...]
Oh look, some fucktard wingnuts in Texas somewhere made a video of themselves “executing Santa Claus,” you know, because Baby Jesus hates Santa Claus. Why does Baby Jesus hate a Christian saint? Because Baby Jesus isn’t Catholic anymore, come on, don’t you know anything about American Christmas? Anyway watch these mouth-breathing obese poop-sacks play with [...]
Swiftboat birther nutsack Jerome Corsi is so confused by Obama becoming Republican Senate Majority Leader that there’s really nothing left to do but go back to the old “George W. Bush is making Mexico and Canada part of America by building an unfunded interstate highway in the Midwest” conspiracy. Corsi’s new WorldNetDaily column totally ignores [...]
For Michele Bachmann, this was the year. Her party took back the House. She raised more money than ever. She set up a PAC to buy the devotion of her colleagues. MICHELE BACHMANN WAS FINALLY GOING PLACES IN THIS WHOLE POWER THING. So she ran for Republican Conference leader. She was finally going to destroy [...]
Sarah Palin, the most perfect living human being since Jesus, made absolutely perfect Senate picks — all of them lost. In several cases, her vain and idiotic intrusions cost the GOP perfectly safe races. Just to bring back the sweet memories of Election Day 2010, here are the Senate candidates “helped” by Palin: Sharron Angle [...]
Remember when Chris Matthews was harassing Michele Bachmann on his liberal MSNBC show, calling her a hypnotized zombie and everything, and then her eyes got even bigger and she started mocking him for the “tingle down my leg” thing, and then remember how you wanted to die, because all of American life is so trashy [...]
Somehow President Obama is not as eloquent as usual when he’s delivering a speech at a fundraiser. It could be because he’s just there to get people to give candidates money. Or it could be because people show up to yell at him, and keep yelling at him when he’s trying to speak.
Vengeful mobs of Real Americans converged on DC this past weekend to enjoy the all-you-can-eat Freedom & Diabetes buffet at the Values Voter Summit. Even Christine O’Donnell stopped by to pout for money and talk about how her “love affair with liberty isn’t tame, but boy is it good” — cruel verbal foreplay that made [...]
Have you pre-ordered your “wet section” box seats for the premiere of Fire from the Heartland: the Awakening of the Conservative Woman, Leni Riefenstahl’s most recent and celebrated film? We assume this documentary is about angry moms who want more wars for their children to die in, but watch the trailer and you shall quickly [...]
Remember when John Bolton blushed like the most flattered debutante when Tucker Carlson’s bow-tie gnomes begged him to run for president? (To forget this moment would be tantamount to “forgetting to give your girlfriend something nice for 9/11.”) John Bolton told the Daily Caller he couldn’t say for sure if he would consider thinking about [...]
Oh jesus fucking christ, they’re just doing this to get on Wonkette now. UPDATE: Haha, now this is a “private” video. Luckily, we’ve got another copy.
Some unscrupulous facts on the internet want you to believe that Colorado’s almost-governor Dan Maes was never a secret agent, perhaps because Dan Maes told the news reporters that his famous stories about being an undercover policeman were not actually “true,” per se. And they believed him? Ha ha, fools. Guess what: Dan Maes lied [...]
BREAKING NEWS: That crazy guy who was maybe strapped with a bomb and took hostages in the Discovery Channel headquarters in Silver Spring was shot (UPDATE: and killed) and all the hostages are safe. Hooray! His name is James Lee, and he protested there a lot, and one time he threw thousands of dollars in [...]