Tag Archives: crazies

  Four And A Half Weeks Alan

Donald Trump Can’t Believe People Don’t Like His Straight Talk On Loser POWs

So McCain was captured. Big deal. So was El Chapo.
Just in case you hadn’t heard about Donald Trump’s very special weekend shitshow, he had a terrible horrible no-good very bad Saturday at the Family Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa, where he made the mistake of talking smack about somebody other than Mexicans. In a Q & A with emcee Frank Luntz, Trump went after John McCain on the one thing Republicans do not want anyone questioning: his status as an honest-to-god “Five And A Half Years, Alan” war hero. Read more on Donald Trump Can’t Believe People Don’t Like His Straight Talk On Loser POWs…
  the marching morons

Operation American Spring Will Bring 10-30 Million Patriots To DC Friday, If You Include Imaginary Friends

There’s a new billion-moron march in town, if by “new” you mean “they’ve tried this before,” and if by “billion” you mean “a few hundred,” and if by “moron” you mean “moron.” But they’re definitely on their way, and Friday is the day they are going to scare that Kenyan Usurper fellow right out of “OUR WHITE HOUSE.” All ten to thirty million of them, give or take 9.9999 to 30 million or so. Read more on Operation American Spring Will Bring 10-30 Million Patriots To DC Friday, If You Include Imaginary Friends…
  what could go wrong?

Sad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom

Wonkette fan favorite Bradlee Dean is back at it with his tireless campaign to save the youths. Why do we need Michele Bachmann BFF Bradlee Dean more than ever? Because freedom needs brush fires, duh: Need for the Program: It is ever more urgent to use the internet to get our message out, since this is where people hang out, especially the young. Think of how many people we can reach! It does not take an overwhelming majority to reform society. It only takes an irate tireless minority setting brush fires of freedom everywhere! Read more on Sad Bachmannite Party Clown Bradlee Dean Invites Children To Commit Arson, For Freedom…
  how to make it in america

Paula Broadwell Was Going To Be A Senator, Because Why Not

Good morning, Wonkette darlings! It is Monday, and you have to ask yourself: are you getting a little bored with the Petraeus scandal? We mean, sure, it’s fun thinking about the crazy grifting identical twins and hot (?) shirtless FBI guys, but the actual core of the scandal — married dude and married lady with similar interests (one of which being the married dude’s awesomeness) spend a lot of time together and end up boning — is starting to seem a little played out. What this scandal needs is a counterfactual shot in the arm, such as: what if the FBI had never found those pesky email sexts, and then, a few years from now, it came out that CIA director Petraeus was having a sex affair with North Carolina Senator Paula Broadwell? That would certainly be an exciting scandal that would rock the nation and whatever political party Broadwell belonged to for weeks, would it not? Read more on Paula Broadwell Was Going To Be A Senator, Because Why Not…
  also we think he might be black

Oops! Barack Obama’s Mom Forgot To ‘Change Him Back’ To An American

Wayne Root went to Columbia with Barack Obama, in the early ’80s and had the same major and everything … or did he? He says he doesn’t remember any such Barry Obama Soetoro person around campus! Though probably, as he tells Sean Hannity in this video, that was because Barry was too busy smoking weed and being a radical socialist and gay-marrying Pakistanis. But since Barack publicly loves drugs and gay Pakistanis, there shouldn’t be any reason for him to hide his Columbia records, says Wayne Root! But maybe … just maybe, stick with him for a moment, this is just a gut instinct but he’s learned to trust his gut … maybe Barack Obama’s mom never “changed him back” to an American after making him an Indonesian as a child! And this will be revealed in his Columbia transcripts! And that’s how Mitt Romney is going to win this election. Read more on Oops! Barack Obama’s Mom Forgot To ‘Change Him Back’ To An American…
  arabs under the bed

Congratulations, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, You Are Michele Bachmann’s Newest Muslim Terrorist!

Oh LOOK, Michelle Bachmann is being a little trooper, ignoring criticism from her own party, the Democratic party, and the reality-based community, to double down on crazy and accuse ANOTHER high-ranking political-type person of Muslim Brotherhood ties. Except she’s not really ACCUSING anyone, she’s just “asking questions,” that’s all. Just asking questions, no harm in asking a question, is there? And isn’t that nice, that she’s managing to persevere and soldier on in the fact of such adversity? Read more on Congratulations, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, You Are Michele Bachmann’s Newest Muslim Terrorist!…
  Anger Porn

A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Remembrances Of Communist Traitor Andy Griffith, Who Burns In Hell

Happy Independence Day, U.S. Americans! Iconic actor Andy Griffith, who played Iconic Sheriff Andy “Lonesome Rhodes” Matlock on the Iconic Teevee, died July 3 at the age of 86, and Wingnut America honored his memory with an outpouring of patriotic fervor, remembering how the late actor embodied decent small-town values, common-sense parenting, and destroying America by supporting the Illegal Alien Marxist Usurper Barry “Goober” Soetero. While most blog posts on Griffith’s death merely noted that he appeared in a Ron Howard ad for Barack Obama in 2008 (he was onscreen for about 46 seconds) and released a 32-second PSA in support of the Affordable Care Act in 2010, the commenters made certain to put those particular 78 seconds of screen time, out of a 59-year career, into their proper perspective. From The Blaze: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Remembrances Of Communist Traitor Andy Griffith, Who Burns In Hell…
  your rage is like the finest wine to me

A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Obamacare Freakouts

This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration. — benshapiro (@benshapiro) June 28, 2012 It’s really kind of sad that Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro put up this tweet mere minutes after the ultra-conservative Supreme Court approved socialist healthcare in America forever, because it’s like he didn’t even try to let other people post their own insanely hyperbolic screed before writing the Platonic ideal of one. You know how it’s kind of annoying that sportscasters and such use “literally” to mean not “literally” but “I am using figurative language but very, very strongly”? Well, Ben Shapiro has established new heights that make misuse of “literally” literally look like prose that Strunk & White’s ghosts would masturbate to. From now on, every paragraph about anything you don’t like ends in “This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.” But other people were ludicrous too, so let’s look at what they had to say. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Obamacare Freakouts…
  oh god not again

Liveblogging the GOP Fox News Strap-On Death Match Debate #54

No not another one! Yes, another one! We will do some liveblogging on this, maybe? To give Kirsten Boyd Johnson a break so she can “do something at night” (cry), maybe? Yes! We do hope you’ve picked up the usual giant-sized condoms full of vodka and ice axes, and that you’re ready to join us for this special thing. How will the Fox News GOP Debate celebrate today’s 391-point drop in the Dow Jones Stock Market and similar plunges worldwide? How can you watch it without watching Fox News on the cable teevee? Go to this debate view-y thing! Weep a lot. Let’s go. (PS: The video of this crowd of jackals booing a veteran soldier who served in Iraq can be found at the bottom of this timeline of indignities.) Read more on Liveblogging the GOP Fox News Strap-On Death Match Debate #54…
  actually almost everyone hates white people

VIDEO: Idiot Michele Bachmann Asks White People, ‘Who Likes White Wet People?’

Who likes white people? Uhh, everybody except for black people and brown people and yellow people, we guess? Also, many actual white people don’t much like white people, having read a history book or two. But Michele Bachmann is here to praise Jesus and His Own Special People, even though he was an Arab. UPDATE: Michele Bachmann actually said she “hates white people” because they’re “subhuman.” YouTube regrets the error. Read more on VIDEO: Idiot Michele Bachmann Asks White People, ‘Who Likes White Wet People?’…
  crazy people

Jon Huntsman Surprised By GOP Candidates All Being Insane Idiots

Barack Obama’s Republican ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, would like to continue the Bush-Obama presidencies by becoming president in 2012. But that requires running as the GOP’s Republican, since the Democrats already have one who is also the incumbent, so Huntsman has been quite surprised to find out that his fellow 2012 candidates are a bunch of dangerous mental patients: Read more on Jon Huntsman Surprised By GOP Candidates All Being Insane Idiots…
  goodbye forever

Glenn Beck Says Farewell In Usual Crazy Way

“I love philosophy,” says Glenn Beck in his goodbye show. “To paraphrase Martin Luther King, this is the dumbest show on the air!” Goodbye, Glenn. We’ll, uh, be waiting for the next nut to show up on Fox News. Read more on Glenn Beck Says Farewell In Usual Crazy Way…
  visions of america

Muslim-Hating Wingnut (Not Palin) Shoots His Own Car For Some Reason

Rat-faced hillbilly “Pastor Terry Jones” still exists, for some reason. (Weren’t we supposed to drop him from a Predator onto a pile of rocks in Afghanistan, so that one of his stray limbs would kill a child or a nursing mother? Is this even America anymore?) So, this Terry Jones character is going around, spewing racism and ignorance on local teevee programs so the nation’s millions of semi-literate unemployed slobs can figure out which already-oppressed minority to HATE for the three-decade-long GOP/kleptocrat program to take away working people’s homes, jobs, health care and minimal financial security. And, for some reason, “Pastor Terry Jones” shot up the floor of his crappy car. Goldanged Muslims are everywhere! Read more on Muslim-Hating Wingnut (Not Palin) Shoots His Own Car For Some Reason…
  nut of the week

Michele Bachmann Honored To Be Noted by TIME Alongside Hitler

Vacant-eyed junior demagogue Michele Bachmann wants to be a famous extremist dingbat just like her rival/idol, Sarah Palin. But how to get better known? The new polls show that 64% of GOP voters have no idea who Michele Bachmann is and only 12% see her “favorably,” so she really needs to amp up the craziness. Why not call for all gay people to be killed? Why not? (Her husband is excused from this, of course, because he was “cured.”) Anyway, all press is good press, so forgotten dentist-office magazine TIME has a blurb about Bachmann written by noted TIME journalist Rush Limbaugh. Keep appeasing the wingnuts, liberal media! Read more on Michele Bachmann Honored To Be Noted by TIME Alongside Hitler…
  welcome back crazy!

Beloved Nevada Dingbat Sharron Angle Running For Congress!!!

It’s not all bad news (or good news) today! Crazy second-amendment-remedy granny Sharron Angle has a new YouTube posted on the YouTube! And that is simply … weird? Comforting? Baffling? Let’s go with “comforting,” because when radiation rains down upon the American West this weekend, and kills everyone, we can at least know that some things stayed the same right up until the very end. Plus, Sharron Angle is probably evidence of nuclear fallout not totally killing you. She’s alive, right? Damaged and crazy, but still technically alive. Until the Japanese Fallout arrives, anyway …. Read more on Beloved Nevada Dingbat Sharron Angle Running For Congress!!!…