NATION OF CRAP: “The Self Storage Association notes that, with more than seven square feet for every man, woman and child, it’s now ‘physically possible that every American could stand — all at the same time — under the total canopy of self-storage roofing.’” [New York Times]

What’s inside the great bag of stuff given to America’s Media (plus the foreigners) at the DNC? Let’s examine it, together, and wish we were at a fancier event, like the Golden Globes or something. MORE »

A “tipster” sends us this terrible, frightening YouTube video of … we don’t know. We have no idea. It appears to be a zombie murdering a screeching robot in the dark. Or, of course, a novelty item promoting Barack Obama’s candidacy. MORE »