Conservatives: Employment Awaits Near San Francisco!
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
Tipster “paperpush” sends us news that at least one (1) new job has been created in the Bay Area. Green shoots, etc! Are you a right-of-center sort of thinker with mad writing skillz and decent hygiene? Read on. MORE »











There are a bunch of these on craigslist, and who knows how many of them are Democratic operatives setting traps. But! If you find yourself in a situation tonight where, ohhh let’s see, you’re having gay sex in the anus with a closeted Republican politician, then please share with tips@wonkette.com and we may write about it on the Internet. [
Well, this one just smacks of implausibility — what “tall and handsome 6′3″ and work out daily” kind of guy do you know who would have to go on Craigslist looking for a party date? — but whatever, we’ll bite. He does not care if you are an 89-year-old skeletal space monster, as long as you look vaguely humanoid and want to go to an inaugural ball with this guy. He will buy you a dress, too! Oh but here is the HOOK: He’s got tickets to the Texas State Society’s Black Tie & Boots Inaugural Ball, which of course nobody wants to go to. Texas is dead to the rest of the nation. [
… GO ON?
Well this is the shadiest sentence ever written: “Located in the heart of DC on embassy road –where all of the embassy’s are.” Hmm, wonder if that’s near Embassy Row, where there are also a lot of embassies? Another major tip-off: “All money will be handled through money wire.” A true plutocrat would never be so tasteless as to mention the word “money,” twice! Obviously, John Edwards is behind this scam. [
Hello, jobless hordes of the D.C. metropolitan area! Would you like to sell extremely unofficial Inaugural Postcards of our new Shark God, Mr. President Obama? Well good! First, of course, you will need to come up with the cash to buy these things, Wholesale, and then you will easily be able to sell them Retail for, uh, $2.75. Just two dollars and seventy-five cents, for a postcard with one of several weird designs.
If you’ve got a spare ticket to Obama’s Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands.
The Republican National Convention has brought truckloads of new visitors to the Twin Cities — and with every event getting canceled in honor of the poor black people who didn’t get killed in the hurricane yesterday, veritable dozens of GOP males were left in their swank hotel rooms with nothing to do. Let’s find out what happens when a bunch of closeted, discreet hairless dudes go looking for good clean fun on Craigslist …
Hell, we already have two, but we’ll take another. There’s a food shortage PEOPLE and kidneys taste gooooood. [
Maybe you liked her once for her health care mandates, or just thought she might be the more effective manager of the federal bureaucracy? Well you don’t like her anymore! Time to sell sell SELL that stuff before the market shuts down for good. [