As the first president to use email in the White House, just a dozen years after email became the civilized world’s primary form of communication, Barack Obama is the world’s greatest technological revolutionary, because of his new Blackberry featuring encryption. But who gets to forward stupid jokes and YouTubes to our Commander in Chief? Hardly anybody at all, that’s who: Gibbs, Axelrod, probably Michelle, and chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, who regularly updates Obama with all the fucking ways he’s going to motherfucking destroy that fuck John Boehner, who is fucking dead to him. [NYT/Gizmodo]

From yet another piece on CrackBerry addiction (new angle: it makes you a bad parent!) comes this bit of famous family fun: MORE »

* Duke Cunningham gets the longest sentence ever given to a congressman: 8 years and 4 months. MORE »

$612 million later, RIM settles with NTP, Blackberries are saved, everyone in DC rejoices: MORE »

* Not able to attend last week’s big Denmark solidarity rally here in Washington, led by the redoubtable Christopher Hitchens? Our comprehensive coverage — featuring the fantastic photos of Wonkette paparazza Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter — is available here and here. MORE »

DON’T PANIC. YOU GET TO KEEP USING YOUR BLACKBERRIES FOR LIKE ANOTHER MONTH AT LEAST. MORE »

And you thought the PandaCam being out of commission (it still is, YOU MONSTERS) was bad: The Man might take our Blackberrys away. A Federal judge has kicked out a settlement between the purveors of the Crackberry and the patent-holders suing them, a move which could, in theory, lead to Research in Motion shutting down the service. The thought makes my thumbs twitch. MORE »