Wonkette

* Conservative anger orgy generates new things to hate at a grueling pace. [The Gaggle]
* Grover Norquist is still belly-dancing and wants his fellow tax-crusaders to do the same. [Think Progress]
* It’s acceptable to tolerate Rick Santorum for however long he’s talking smack about McCain. [The Swamp]
* Sharon Stone is desperate enough to play Valerie Plame in what will surely be the most boring movie of whatever year it gets released. [Variety]
* Where they know Biden best, they like him least. [Political Wire]
* Barry Hussein: advancing left-of-Stalin policies since 2004. [MoJo]
* The many sins of Keith Olbermann will now go unheralded. [Olbermann Watch]
* Just not perky enough Katie, just not perky enough. [On Tap]

Ann Coulter, speaking at CPAC, revealed that her crack staff has written at least one new joke since we saw her last year. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Broadway play about the complex relationship between Supreme Court Justices Harry Blackmun and Warren Burger to be pretty much like The Sunshine Boys but funnier… Matt Damon’s here filming. Much more exciting: Nic “Ghost Rider” Cage will be here soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Tony Snow played his damn flute again… Ron Paul: Very popular on the internet… There is a Furry in a dolphin suit repping for Mitt Romney at CPAC. [Examiner]

* Heard on the Hill: Richard Simmons was at the Capitol “spreading joy.” … No more stache for Rep. Peter DeFazio — who will keep the flame alive now? … Congressional Record claims John McCain introduced an amendment in the House. Madness! … Barney Frank doesn’t care if the Republicans obstruct the Dems, he just wishes they weren’t so boring about it. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Local boy makes good! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Donald Rumsfeld still alive, hanging out at the Hoover Institution. John Fund got his digits! “Not for an interview, just to talk.” We did not make that quote up… Joe and Valerie Wilson are gone, forever. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Bush hosts coffee date for neocons… Vanessa Williams and Dick Durbin: BFF! [WP]
* Shenanigans: Ted Kennedy had yet another birthday party. Everyone was there! … Happy CPAC weekend! … John Edwards: Lying about his favorite movie? [Politico]

Last week, from Thursday, February 9, through Saturday, February 11, conservative political activists from around the country descended upon Washington for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And the Wonkette Welcome Wagon was there to meet them!

Okay, we kinda missed all of the panels, speeches, and events. We didn’t get to hear Ann Coulter rail against “ragheads,” and we missed the mob-scene book signings by blogebrities Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin. Nor did we attend the remarks of self-professed ex-gay Alan Chambers, who said sodomy was like fast food: “It will kill you.” Uh, not if you don’t swallow!

(Remember, boys and girls: as former President Clinton can tell you, the legal definition of sodomy encompasses a wide range of sexual acts. Black’s Law Dictionary defines sodomy as “oral or anal copulation between humans, or between humans and animals.” In other words, it’s not just assfucking!)

We don’t look that drunk, do we? (Photo by the Boi From Troy, blogging at our too-cool-for-school sibling.)

Sorry for that scholarly digression. Although we missed CPAC’s substantive presentations — if Ann Coulter mocking John Kerry as the other “dominant woman in American politics” qualifies as “substantive” — we did show up for the most important part: the drinking!

A chronicle of our misadventures, after the jump.

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This week has been a good one for celebrity-obsessed Washingtonians. A handful of “famous-for-famous” people, and a slew of “famous-for-DC” people, showed up at the Congressional Correspondents dinner on Wednesday night. And, of course, let’s not forget the camel sighting on Monday. (As for Butterstick, sufferers of panda withdrawal syndrome should check out this site or this one.)

After the jump, still more celebrity sightings. You’ve been doing a nice job of keeping us well-supplied; keep ‘em coming! (If you remember to do so, please include the word “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject of your message, so we can separate your message from the never-ending stream of offers for Cialis, OEM software, and mortgage refinancing.)

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