Wonkette

* Yeas and Nays: Roger Clemens drinking coffee on the Hill… Mitt Romney booth attendants pull out just as fast as he did… Foodies to flood D.C. for Inn at Little Washington gala… Christopher Shays needs a time delay… Dave Barry and Barbara Bush make pleasantries… The newly crowned Miss America, Michigan’s Kirsten Haglund, stops by the Washington Press Club… Transcript of John McCain at CPAC. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Hillary and Bush say grace… CPAC broke their no-boo policy. [Politico]

This morning at the frightening CPAC conference, our favorite President George W. Bush destroyed the Democrats:

“They tend to think Washington has the answers to our problems,” he went on. “They tend to believe our country only succeeds under the expansive federal government. They tend to be suspicious of America’s exercise of global leadership — unless, of course, we get a permission slip from international organizations.”

Those damn liberals — first they want to take over the Washingtons, then they want to find “answers to our problems”! Vote Republican, and we’ll blow up the Capitol and create a free market over the splayed limbs of Russ Feingold. [NYT]

Sweet Jesus, it’s a conservative explaining a non-conservative opinion to crazy conservative wildebeests at CPAC! What is happening to “our Republican Party,” where they need to explain things? This is not America. This is Mexico. This is what the Mexicans do.

McCain is talking to the CPAC! Will he be booed offstage? How many times will Walnuts say “my friends” to this assemblage of enemies? Let’s see! MORE »

*MACACA!:* The big John McCain speech at CPAC — where conservatives might boo him — is being introduced by none other than America’s Racist, former Sen. George “Macaca” Allen.

Naked journalist Mark Halperin is on the Fox News talking about Romney “likely” dropping out during this speech at CPAC today. Is he right? Couldn’t he be wrong? MAYBE HE’S WRONG?? Oh, false hope, ye demon! Let’s see what the Great White Hope, our Mittens Romney, has to say. MORE »

Great catch by the American Mind blog:

Did CPAC toss Ann Coulter’s gay slur towards John Edwards down the memory hole? For only $100 you can have the “Best of CPAC 2007,” a six-DVD set of speakers and panels from this year’s conservative confab… Noticably missing is Ann Coulter.

Among the stuff ranked better than Coulter by a panel of druids and former POWs:

- Terrorism: Is Religious Extremism or Secular Extremism the Problem? a lively debate featuring Dinesh D’Souza and Robert Spencer
- Conservative Solutions for Urban America, featuring Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, John McWhorter, Niger Innis and more
- Balancing Individual Rights and National Security, a timely debate featuring Rep. Bob Barr and Professor John Yoo

Let the revisionism train roll on! In six months, Fox News will be reporting that there never was a leggy, gay-bashing blonde pundit and that “Ann Coulter” was actually one of Kurt Vonnegut’s pen names. MORE »

Those lovable WashTimes kids are at it again! MORE »