cpac

Watch, if you can, this video of 21% of the Duggar children as they explain the secret to successful family life, especially how to do dating, or as these gals call it, “courtship,” because only sluts “date.” It’s “dating with a purpose,” they explain, aimed at finding a good Christian man to fill your quiver. […]

FRIDAY TWOFER OF SHAME! Part I: Scott Brown, that handsome former Senator fellow who once accused Elizabeth Warren of masquerading as a Red Indian, is expected to “launch an exploratory committee for a U.S. Senate bid in New Hampshire,” which is weird because we thought he already did something like that? And he drew a […]

This amazing document was authored by Senator Rand Paul’s guy who does these for him and comes to us via POLITICO, whom we’ll discuss in a minute. What we have here is, in our experience, unprecedented. Rand Paul’s guy has not just broken the Reagan barrier but shattered it: In a 699 word op-ed nominally […]

We were so very glad that CPAC was over, but we forgot that there would be post-CPAC pieces until everything turns into a SXSW thinkpiece, which doesn’t happen until about 3:30 am tomorrow. Sorry. The very worst of the post-CPAC thinkings, though, has already been barfed up onto the internet and you will not at […]

CPAC offers conservative organizations a three-day window in which to reach the most receptive possible audience. How to make an impression when there are so many competing messages? Be armed with compelling information and persuasive arguments? Sure, that might work! Just to be safe, many also came with boxes full of premium conservative tchotchkes.

Hello! Still bleary-eyed from losing that hour of sleep? Us too! We’re going to blame that for any missteps in this week’s Sunday Times roundup. First off, of course, is the big exciting political news that beloved conervative bullyboy icon Rand Paul won the CPAC straw poll, which means soon he will be your president, […]

  At CPAC, the biggest conservative event of the year, everyone is dressed to impress. Rick Perry, aka Governor Nerdlinger, brought the house down with this snappy ensemble topped off with glasses for the intellectual look. We almost expected him to whip them off and throw them aside during his barnburner of a speech, which […]

Young conservatives love Ronald Reagan. If you want them to come to your party, name it after the Gipper! Throw in some Reagan-themed cocktails and a swag table from the Daily Caller and you’ve got Reaganpalooza, an unofficial CPAC function that marked its 10th anniversary this year. Let’s see what all the fine young cannibals […]

The Gaylord National Resort is more than just a hotel with a name that makes pubescent boys snicker. It’s also a glassed-in mini-city with living trees and actual birds and tiny houses that hold patriotic gear stores and, for the second year, it is the Land of CPAC. Come along and let us visit this […]

Donald Trump, always good for a laugh, arrived at CPAC today ready to be as impressive as ever. Consider this on-the-spot report from Huffpo’s Sam Stein: Trump just rolled in w/ about 12 security guards. “Any thoughts on Ukraine?” I asked. “I am,” he said. “What?” I asked. He walked on The man is like […]

Readers may remember that I, Snipy, tried to quit Wonkette last year to go work for hot new conservative music site Big Dawg Music Mafia – “Where Conservative Is Cool.” Alas, the Editrix wooed me into staying here, thus depriving me of the chance to help set up the Big Dawg showcase at CPAC. What […]

Just minutes ago, we learned about wise children leading us to an understanding that … liberals do not love their children, and love comes in brown paper bags we guess? Like 40s of Colt? Paul Ryan used the story of a sad boy who didn’t want government cheese sandwich lunch, but instead wanted a paper […]

Paul Ryan, remember him? He’s the jackass Mitt Romney picked to shore up the conservatives who think Mitt Romney is a goddamn commie liberal. He likes to exercise, and whine and show alpha dog Joe Biden his belly. Well, recently, he’s been on an “I’m a big bleedingheart Catholic so my thing now is poverty” […]

Everybody please welcome our newest Wonkesse, Kaili Joy Gray what we stoled from Daily Kos! Remember that time when all the hip, young conservatives — like teen starlet Phyllis Schlafly and some dumb chick from Alaska and also for some reason Michele Bachmann — gathered in that godless cesspool that is our nation’s capitol to […]

Oh sweet merciful christ the annual khaki-ed klavern that is CPAC has finally ended and thus we can start following less disgusting displays of retrograde political insanity, like sequester budget debates or public lynchings. Sadly, however, there is one more “story” to report from this pasty-fleshed convention from hell, and it involves everyone’s favorite bastard […]