Wonkette

No, sickos, we are not going to reveal those photos on the front page of this FAMILY PUBLICATION. Instead we will show you a clip from Judge Alex Kozinski’s appearance on The Dating Game many moons ago, before he started amassing a collection of naughty pictures and viral videos that would shock all but the most seasoned readers of Mad magazine circa 1970. Sexy cow-lady photo after the jump. MORE »

Once upon a time a man kept a stash of comically dirty photos on his web site, and then he blamed it all on his son after people discovered they could access pubic-hair shaving instructionals and similarly “shocking” images from this site. Who is this magical dingus who produced the very worst excuse for hosting a porn stash since Mark Penn told his mom “I’m keeping that stack of Juggs for a friend”? Why, it is Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit and Reagan appointee Alex Kozinski, who happens to be presiding over an obscenity trial. MORE »

Hey look, it’s one of those days with a guest editor, because the real editor is doing something else! Wonkette’s comic book and foreign affairs correspondent Josh Fruhlinger will be filling in for Ken Layne today. Anything could happen!

A heroic undercover investigation spent weeks determining that “contractors” working for the U.S. government were engaged in systematic mistreatment of detainees. These cruel monsters tormented their captives — many of whom were old and sick — in the name of helping American children. When the shocking video of the torment was released, though, swift government action brought the the un-American practices to an end. At last, there’s justice — for cows! MORE »

Right now, in school cafeterias across the Great State of Iowa, the people are STANDING BY SIGNS WITH CANDIDATE NAMES! This is what we’ve been waiting for, forever! MORE »

Government scientists have come to the rock-solid conclusion that it’s totally safe to eat cloned meat and dairy products from cloned animals. This basically means that you can stumble upon the Perfect Steak and then get the ID number of the animal, probably through some DNA detector built into next year’s Blackberry models, and continue to eat that steak forever. MORE »