cowboys

Still trying to get Rick Perry’s “sausage rickroll” commercial out of your brain? How about the entire original campaign spot that produced the sausage fest’s closing shots of Perry inexplicably dressed in a full Halloween costume of a cowboy: Thanks again to Wonkette operative “Andrew K.,” who is some kind of video-archive emotional terrorist.

And then he adds with an earnest, butter-wouldn’t-melt smile: “You want high taxes and an onerous regulatory climate, that’s your choice.” As he says this, he swivels around excitedly in his desk chair, the cuffs of his trousers hiking up to reveal a pair of cowboy boots emblazoned “Liberty” and “Freedom.” He likes to call […]

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give […]

The creaky and lonesome ol’ town of Americaville — no longer a boomtown, not yet a ghost town — just ain’t been the same since that corrupt mayor, mean ol’ Barry Obammer, took office and made every cowpoke, whore, gamblin’ man, Injun and saloon piano player sad as a still sagebrush. The citizens of Americaville […]

This proud American is going to play “Cowboys & Muslims” by … let’s see, what did Cowboys do to their enemies, in the movies? (Because in real life, as we all know, cowboys just fuck cows and cry for mama.) We are pretty sure pretend cowboys lynched their enemies, the Native Americans or Mexicans or […]

CARTOON VIOLENCE  11:00 am February 26, 2010

THE END IS NIGH!

by Josh Fruhlinger

By the Comics CurmudgeonReaders! Are you aware that each and every one of you are mortal, and will die? I know, pretty depressing, right? Even worse than the dying — which, by all accounts, doesn’t sound like any kind of picnic — is the fact that, by sheer chance of health or age, millions upon […]

Wonkette Operative “Ride Me Cowboy” (?!) writes from the Canadian hinterlands to report that our own former president, George W. Bush, visited Calgary for some pasta and fruit salad last night. Today he’s addressing the Chamber of Commerce. People were thrilled to see him. Alberta is, of course, the Texas of Canada, so all of […]

Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention, Oh my, what to say, with all that attention! He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter, ‘Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter! “A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!” Then Cornyn responded, “but isn’t that gay?” “Nay” said his staffers, “It’s rugged, […]