Tag Archives: cowboys

  rickroll

Here’s the Complete, Hilarious First Rick Perry Ad, Where He’s Dressed as Marlboro Man

Still trying to get Rick Perry’s “sausage rickroll” commercial out of your brain? How about the entire original campaign spot that produced the sausage fest’s closing shots of Perry inexplicably dressed in a full Halloween costume of a cowboy: Read more on Here’s the Complete, Hilarious First Rick Perry Ad, Where He’s Dressed as Marlboro Man…
  english is the official language of naming shoes

Rick Perry Named His Cowboy Boots ‘Freedom’ and ‘Liberty’

And then he adds with an earnest, butter-wouldn’t-melt smile: “You want high taxes and an onerous regulatory climate, that’s your choice.” As he says this, he swivels around excitedly in his desk chair, the cuffs of his trousers hiking up to reveal a pair of cowboy boots emblazoned “Liberty” and “Freedom.” Read more on Rick Perry Named His Cowboy Boots ‘Freedom’ and ‘Liberty’…
  they always take it back

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians,” Fischer says. “He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords.” And what’s more, Obama is in league with the U.N., which owns property on the isle of Manhattan (formerly owned by Native Americans), to make this happen. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’…
  wonkette world o' books

Republican ‘Young Guns’ Publish Violent Cowboy Novel

The creaky and lonesome ol’ town of Americaville — no longer a boomtown, not yet a ghost town — just ain’t been the same since that corrupt mayor, mean ol’ Barry Obammer, took office and made every cowpoke, whore, gamblin’ man, Injun and saloon piano player sad as a still sagebrush. The citizens of Americaville need some real cowboys to clean up their one-horse town, yessirree. Cowboys like the Republican Party’s “young guns” Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy, who’ve formed a posse and written a shoot ‘em up Young Adult Western novel called Young Guns: A New Generation of Conservative Leaders. Just how does our trio of “young” heroes plan to get rid of mean ol’ Mayor Obammer? Read more on Republican ‘Young Guns’ Publish Violent Cowboy Novel…
  and ladies we bet he's single!

Arizona Guy Finally Has Enough Bumper Stickers For Freedom

This proud American is going to play “Cowboys & Muslims” by … let’s see, what did Cowboys do to their enemies, in the movies? (Because in real life, as we all know, cowboys just fuck cows and cry for mama.) We are pretty sure pretend cowboys lynched their enemies, the Native Americans or Mexicans or escaped black slaves. So, what’s your message, person in a very expensive Saudi-crude-guzzling pickup manufactured by Obama’s government car company? Read more on Arizona Guy Finally Has Enough Bumper Stickers For Freedom…
  cartoon violence

THE END IS NIGH!

By the Comics CurmudgeonReaders! Are you aware that each and every one of you are mortal, and will die? I know, pretty depressing, right? Even worse than the dying — which, by all accounts, doesn’t sound like any kind of picnic — is the fact that, by sheer chance of health or age, millions upon millions of unworthy chumps will outlive you! Sure, those jackholes will themselves die, eventually, but don’t you kind of resent them for getting to find out who wins the 2093 World Series or whatever when you won’t? I believe that this sort of resentment is exactly the psychological origin of the notion of the End Times, when not just you but everyone is killed by nuclear fire, or perhaps raptured up into the skies to be Judged by Our Lord. Such an important event has of course been studied in great detail by the most learned theological thinkers of our day (i.e., political cartoonists). Read more on THE END IS NIGH!…
  foreign dignitaries

Bush Travels All The Way To Canada To Find Adoring Fans

Wonkette Operative “Ride Me Cowboy” (?!) writes from the Canadian hinterlands to report that our own former president, George W. Bush, visited Calgary for some pasta and fruit salad last night. Today he’s addressing the Chamber of Commerce. People were thrilled to see him. Alberta is, of course, the Texas of Canada, so all of this sort of makes sense. [Calgary Herald] Read more on Bush Travels All The Way To Canada To Find Adoring Fans…
  too good

‘Big John’ Cornyn Creates Comical ‘Western’ Montage Of Self

Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention, Oh my, what to say, with all that attention! He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter, ‘Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter! “A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!” Then Cornyn responded, “but isn’t that gay?” “Nay” said his staffers, “It’s rugged, and tough! It’s hard-working and white; you’ll look crazy buff!” So Cornyn agreed and they made this video, It’s shockingly gay; they thought it was witty yo! Dear god, it’s hilarious, to a cosmic degree, ‘Cause this is what happens when egos run free. Read more on ‘Big John’ Cornyn Creates Comical ‘Western’ Montage Of Self…
 

Hillary Clinton Takes On Some Cowboy… Voice… Thing

At the moment, it is officially too boring, and too easy, to make fun of Hillary Clinton. Here is Hillary Clinton’s new campaign ad in Texas. It is really something else. We hope that you enjoy Hillary Clinton’s very interesting new campaign ad in Texas. [YouTube] Read more on Hillary Clinton Takes On Some Cowboy… Voice… Thing…
 

Leave the Party Planning to the Red Hanky Crowd

Here’s a brief addendum to an item we shared with you last week. In a recent column, Al Kamen scrutinized an invitation for an event sponsored by Volpac, Sen. Bill Frist’s leadership committee, and essentially asked: Considering that this invite is for an event honoring Bill Frist, why is it, um, so gay? Read more on Leave the Party Planning to the Red Hanky Crowd…
 

Senators Are Frequently, Secretly Fond Of Each Other

Here’s a portion of the bestest Al Kamen column ever: It was with some trepidation that we opened a most interesting card, which announced on a blue-jeaned cowboy’s belt buckle something called the “5th Annual VOLPAC ’06 Weekend” in Nashville on April 21-23. Problem was you had to unbuckle the cowboy’s pants and look inside to see what this was all about. Seemed a bit too “Brokeback Mountain.” Imagine our relief to find only that we were “cordially invited” to the event honoring Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) and “Mrs. Bill Frist, M.D.” […]The back of the card shows the cowboy from behind with a red flowered handkerchief sticking out of his right pocket. Wait a minute — wasn’t there something about how this used to be some kind of code in the gay community years ago? A way to signal each other in crowded, noisy bars? So we checked the GayCityUSA.com’s Hanky Codes. Sure enough, there it was in the chart explaining what they mean: red hanky in right pocket. Oh, dear. Read more on Senators Are Frequently, Secretly Fond Of Each Other…