Wonkette

Since his first choice for President didn’t work out and now spends his days angrily catfighting with James Carville on CNN, President Josiah “Martin Estevez Sheen” Bartlet has found solace in the arms of Barack Obama. But just like his old crush Bill Richardson, he is afraid that former “Real President” Bill Clinton will be mad at him — so he made his announcement overseas in England where none of the English-speaking public would let slip this shocking revelation. MORE »

Even though Barack Obama took New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg out to breakfast a few months ago, gave a big fancy speech about Alexander Hamilton in Bloomberg’s back yard, and not-so-subtly hinted that he would appreciate at least a steak dinner in exchange for the reacharound, Bloomberg still refuses to go steady with Obama. MORE »