Wonkette

Ex-chief of staff to Dick Cheney, known perjurer and wuss jail-dodger I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been disbarred, according to a D.C. Court of Appeals ruling. The cut-and-running court explained: “When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory.” Yes, dumb old Scooter was a textbook case of “moral turpitude,” that old scourge of an offense. Remember when he lied all those times? They were the most morally turpitudinous lies since the great Turpitude Outbreak of 1913. [WTOP]

This handy table gives the basic info for Arizona judicial selection. Arizona, of course, is the make-believe state that corrupt presidential candidate John McCain, 71, represents in Congress. But how can WALNUTS! be president, or senator, or really anything important, when he’s legally too old to serve on Arizona’s supreme court? That is a far less important position than president of bombs, which he is actively seeking. Arizona law realizes that John McCain’s senility will soon give way to death. Why can’t McCain supporters? [Arizona Judicial Selection]

• “Days of Rage” sounds like it would have been a sweet Patrick Swayze movie. [New York Times]
• Democrats promise change and Republicans promise an end to Mexicans. [Washington Post, Washington Post]
• Listen, the Iraqis are pretty sharp people, we’re sure they’ll be able to figure out how to fight and whatever without us. [New York Times]
• Sudden Jihad Syndrome is a thing that some people want us to think is real. [Washington Times]
• Conservative courts? Bush Legacy? You don’t say. [Los Angeles Times]

One thing we can say about Obama is that he’s a real class act. [Politico]

• Huck sets money on fire because he don’t give a fuck. [Wonkette]

Now that a Minnesota judge has put the smackdown on Sen. Larry Craig and his lame plea reversal to charges of bathroom butt hunting, let’s look at the details: The 27-page court order visits the officer’s original report (I saw his blue eyes peeping into my stall!), Craig’s abusive, demeaning language (Fuck you, pigs, I’m innocent! He solicited me!) and more about his swishy handjive (What was he attempting actually…a reach around? A reach under?). Anyway, at the very end off the court order, the ACLU weighs in and says the conviction should be void (phew!). Then they turn around and throw Craig under the bus, citing some random court decision. Apparently people who have consensual sex in public bathrooms have a reasonable expectation of privacy? Awesome.

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California’s 3rd District Court of Appeal just struck down Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ballot initiative transferring congressional redistricting powers from the State Legislature to an independent panel of retired judges. In siding with state Attorney General Bill Lockyer’s petition to ditch the measure, the court found that initiative supporters had circulated two differently worded versions of the new law in their petitions to get it on the ballot. The governor insists that “people knew they were signing for reform, and they deserve to get it.” He also noted that he would soon be sending the governor of the future back into our own time to circulate a single standardized wording–and to re-impregnate Lockyer’s mother, just for good measure. –HOLLY MARTINS MORE »