Possibly sexy sex news out of sexy upstate New York, which is for lovers! Tom Golisano, a richy-rich New York guy who has dabbled heavily in state politics over the years, got annoyed with the state Senate majority leader for ignoring his entreaties not to raise taxes on the vulnerable ultrawealthy and subsequently had a hand in the whole Repubican [Ha whoops! "Republican." -- Ed.] COUP upstate. But, more excitingly, he is also allegedly dating Monica Seles. Are there really not enough wealthy and semi-famous people to go around these days, that tennis stars must go trolling in Albany for dates? MORE »

Happy Dead Presidents Day, everybody! Our most beloved non-Reagan dead president, John F. “Jack” Kennedy, was killed by Lyndon Johnson’s Anti-Castro Cuban CIA Mafia Military-Industrial FBI Complex way back in 1963. We still don’t know exactly what happened, because “the government” won’t release the files for another forty or fifty years (or never), but the Dallas Morning News says a weird old transcript proves or doesn’t prove how “lone gunman” Lee Harvey Oswald and mafia-nightclub tough Jack Ruby discussed killing JFK so, uh, the Chicago mob wouldn’t be bothered by Kennedy’s little brother, Bobby Kennedy, who was attorney general back when the attorney general was expected to do anti-crime things rather than just torture innocent foreigners forever, in Cuba. MORE »

Ever had one of those days when everything sucks, your boss is stupid and you hate your job? A group of dudes in the Philippines did, too, so they staged a little coup, which we’re dubbing the lamest coup ever.

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As has happened so many times throughout history, a powerful military force has decided to act on its own, ignoring the feeble government supposedly in charge of its troops — and this time, that weak, rotten power is Washington! The Marines are planning to leave Iraq, the New York Times reported today, but they haven’t bothered to tell the American government and its ostensible boss of the military, placeholder Secretary of Defense Robert “I wish I was back at Texas A&M” Gates. MORE »

Buried in this Newsweek story is the news that 51% of American voters want Bush impeached — 28% say High Priority, 23% say Low Priority, 44% against, 6% undecided or don’t know what a president is. And only 78% of Republicans oppose impeachment, proving something or other. MORE »

While we want to make it very clear that “revoking the constitution and promising a swift return to democracy after political reforms” is the coup d’etat equivalent of “I swear to god I was wearing a condom,” Thailand’s remarkably bloodless coup will hopefully serve as an example of how to fix a sick government. MORE »