Tag: costco

Snake Oil Bulletin: No Quacks for Old Men

What time is it? Why it's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week we'll be taking a gander at that trustworthy and not-at-all-Ted-Cruz-punchable face leering above us. That, children, is Joseph Mercola, a doctor (sadly, yes,...

Precious White People Losing Their Damn Minds Over GMO Salmon

SOMEONE SAID "GMO," GET THE CAGE-FREE ORGANIC PITCHFORKS! For those who missed it, earlier this month, the FDA approved the sale of GMO salmon for the first time, after a company called AquaBounty came up with a way to allow...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night’s Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.

Wednesday night's (very dumb) CNBC Republican debate had barely ended before the RNC and individual campaigns were whining and kvetching -- to reporters, their moms, to Pinterest, and everywhere else -- that the questions were SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS to the brilliant...

Costco Pulls Dinesh D’Souza’s D’Book From Shelves Over Poor Sales, Replaces With Wrath Of The Wingnuts

Where oh where will the wingnuts of the near future go for deals on grosses of “World’s Greatest Grandma” t-shirts and barrel-sized containers of Twizzlers? Certainly not Costco, which is the newest and shiniest focus of right-wing rage after...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: If You Love Vaccines So Much, Wonket, Why Don’t You Go Put Some On Your Ice Cream?

Who'd have ever guessed that a post about Alex Jones shouting like a moron would draw nutty comments? Would-be commenter "Aleksiev1" was especially unhappy that we mocked Mr. Jones' assertion that immunizations are full of cancer viruses, to do...

Costco Persecuting All The Christians Again, Labels Book About Talking Snake Handing Out Fruit As ‘Fiction’

Uh-oh, you guys. It looks like Costco has made White American Jesus shed some tears from his shiny, manly blue eyes. In an obvious move to persecute Christians, Costco set up a lion pit and began throwing Christians into...

Sad Slob Mitt Romney Just Deliberately Messing With Our Heads Now

Hey, remember that Mitt Romney guy? Yeah, us neither, really, but apparently he was expecting to be president, since it was his birthright or something? And now, he's just wandering around in a sad daze, with only his hundreds...

Please Read This Joe Biden Story So We Can Sell You Things

Let's be honest. There has been a shortage, nay, a dearth, of news lately. Did we use up all the news during the election? Because good lord every media outlet we can find is covering the fact that Joe Biden went to Costco:  Vice...

Costco Removes Tomatoes In Anticipation Of Palin Visit

Once upon a time a very long time ago (last week), a man attempted to throw a tomato at Sarah Palin and missed. The Salt Lake City Costco, determined not to allow the greatest possible attempted horror in world...