Tag Archives: costco

  this used to be a free country

Costco Pulls Dinesh D’Souza’s D’Book From Shelves Over Poor Sales, Replaces With Wrath Of The Wingnuts

Where oh where will the wingnuts of the near future go for deals on grosses of “World’s Greatest Grandma” t-shirts and barrel-sized containers of Twizzlers? Certainly not Costco, which is the newest and shiniest focus of right-wing rage after the warehouse retailer made the decision to pull Dinesh D’Souza’s latest book from its shelves. Costco claims this was part of its ordinary monthly rotation of stock – the book was released on June 2 but did not meet a certain sales threshold, moving only 3600 copies in four weeks, so the company pulled it to make room for something else. Which is JUST WHAT THEY WOULD SAY. Read more on Costco Pulls Dinesh D’Souza’s D’Book From Shelves Over Poor Sales, Replaces With Wrath Of The Wingnuts…
  no jenny mccarthy you can't comment either

Deleted Comments Of The Day: If You Love Vaccines So Much, Wonket, Why Don’t You Go Put Some On Your Ice Cream?

Who’d have ever guessed that a post about Alex Jones shouting like a moron would draw nutty comments? Would-be commenter “Aleksiev1” was especially unhappy that we mocked Mr. Jones’ assertion that immunizations are full of cancer viruses, to do eugenics. Our skepticism did not sit well with Aleksiev1! If there are no cancer viruses in the vaccines, I dare each one of you who think that to go and get vaccinated right now. Stop living in lalaland and research all this things by yourself and you’ll see it’s true. Damn, guess he’s got us there. We only vaccinated our kid, and get a flu vaccine every year. But otherwise, we are such cowards that we never run out and say, “Hey, how about a vaccine today? Anything you got.” Also, kudos to Aleksiev1 for the “go research this yourself and you’ll see,” which is really rather touching in its apparent certainty that anyone who simply takes the time to read up on vaccines at Infowars will be struck with the blinding light of TRVTH. Aleksiev1 followed this up with an angry dismissal of Wonket’s integrity: “All of you guys are in denial because either 1 you’re all wimps, or you’re just plain evil.” And there you have an Alex Jones fan: Too angry or dumb to remember they were counting to “two.” Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: If You Love Vaccines So Much, Wonket, Why Don’t You Go Put Some On Your Ice Cream?…
  bulk-rate persecution on aisle six

Costco Persecuting All The Christians Again, Labels Book About Talking Snake Handing Out Fruit As ‘Fiction’

Uh-oh, you guys. It looks like Costco has made White American Jesus shed some tears from his shiny, manly blue eyes. In an obvious move to persecute Christians, Costco set up a lion pit and began throwing Christians into it. Not really, because that would actually be persecution. Rather, Costco accidentally labeled some Bibles as fiction. But not all Costcos — just one store in California. Clearly, there are only two options to rectify this: repeal Obamacare or INPEACH Costco. Probably both, to be on the safe side. Logic, bitches.  Read more on Costco Persecuting All The Christians Again, Labels Book About Talking Snake Handing Out Fruit As ‘Fiction’…
  We Still Call It Price Club So Get Off Our Lawn

Sad Slob Mitt Romney Just Deliberately Messing With Our Heads Now

Hey, remember that Mitt Romney guy? Yeah, us neither, really, but apparently he was expecting to be president, since it was his birthright or something? And now, he’s just wandering around in a sad daze, with only his hundreds of millions of dollars for company. Poor dude. So like any US American who’s feeling a little down, he went shopping. And, apparently because he is something of a masochist, he went to CostCo, inviting mocking comparisons to Old Handsome Joe Biden, who recently pushed a cart around at the very same discount warehouse chain for the good of the economy. Read more on Sad Slob Mitt Romney Just Deliberately Messing With Our Heads Now…
  there will be no hard news ever again

Please Read This Joe Biden Story So We Can Sell You Things

Let’s be honest. There has been a shortage, nay, a dearth, of news lately. Did we use up all the news during the election? Because good lord every media outlet we can find is covering the fact that Joe Biden went to Costco:  Vice President Joe Biden bought a wide variety of things during his Thursday morning shopping spree at Costco in Washington, D.C., according to a White House pool report. Biden’s shopping cart was filled with, among other things, “children’s’ books, fire logs, a 32 inch Panasonic TV and a big apple pie.” It’s unclear whether the vice president bought a watch. Read more on Please Read This Joe Biden Story So We Can Sell You Things…
  good thing they don't sell eggs or pies

Costco Removes Tomatoes In Anticipation Of Palin Visit

Once upon a time a very long time ago (last week), a man attempted to throw a tomato at Sarah Palin and missed. The Salt Lake City Costco, determined not to allow the greatest possible attempted horror in world history to repeat itself on Costco premises, reportedly took all of its tomatoes of its shelves during Sarah Palin’s recent book-signing visit. And thank goodness the brave management of this Costco ordered this smart and prescient action, because everybody knows that tomatoes are the only food item ever to be used as a projectile. [Salt Lake Tribune] Read more on Costco Removes Tomatoes In Anticipation Of Palin Visit…
 

America’s Hot New Political Trend: Hoarding Food

From the New York Times to the, uh, New York Sun, newspapers are reporting the hot new American trend: survivalism. The NYT was first to note the fad earlier this month in its Fashion & Style section, but the Sun has the news angle. Want to stock up on sacks of rice and cooking oil and flour and other such staples to survive the Coming Shitstorm? Too late! CostCo is limiting how many sacks of rice you can buy! Read more on America’s Hot New Political Trend: Hoarding Food…
 

Weekend Wonk’d: It’s Hard Out There for an Ex-Chief of Staff

Normally we’d hold off and pass this along with the rest of our Wonk’d celebrity sightings. But since Andrew Card has been in the news a lot lately, after announcing his resignation as White House chief of staff last week, we wanted to pass it along without delay: Read more on Weekend Wonk’d: It’s Hard Out There for an Ex-Chief of Staff…