Tag: cory booker

All The Cool Dems Deciding They LOVE Single Payer, HATE Medical Bankruptcy

So many sexxxy Democrats don't want you to lose your house just because your kid got sick!

Once Jeff Sessions Ends Scourge Of Legal Weed, All The Violent Crime Will Go Away

Marijuana is a driver of 'violent crime'? Duuuude, that's not right.

Senate Dems R On Ur Capitol Steps, Restoring Ur Faith In Democracy

Despite all the attempts to break it, sometimes it looks like democracy works. (Cue the wingnut uncles bellowing, 'It's not a democracy, it's a republic!!!')
Hope you've been making regular contributions to your health savings account...

Senate Dems Skip College Sportsball Game To Talk All Night About Obamacare. Is That Even Legal?

Senate Democrats held a talkathon to call attention to how Americans will be hurt if the ACA is repealed. Now get talking to your own senators and representatives.
This is actually an adult doggie now. Good dog, Champ!

Joe Biden Says He’s Running In 2020, And LOL OK STOP TEASING!

It could happen! But let's also start talking about the new generation of badass Democrat leaders, too.
True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself

Harry Reid, Democrats Ask Donald Trump To Deport Steve Bannon Back To 1938

People seem not to like this Steve Bannon. Maybe it's the haircut. Or the fascism.
Or a reptilian shape shifter. Not mutually exclusive.

Sad! Donald Trump’s Live-Tweets Of DNC Very Low-Energy. Pathetic!

Like other great media analysts, Donald J. Trump had thoughts on the first night of the Democratic Convention. They were silly thoughts.

Are You Saying Boo, Or Boo-nie Sanders?

There were a lot of boo-birds at the first night of the DNC. Or were there that many, really?

DNC Night One: Let’s All Just Scream At Each Other Forever! A Livebloog Experience

Hooray, it's time for the great big Democratic Unity Lovefest, isn't it? Everybody's been pretty well-behaved so far, we hear, with only a couple of completely embarrassing outbreaks of rude screaming by Toddlers For Bernie. We bet that nonsense...

Wonkette Ranks Hillary’s VP Picks By Hotness, Because We’re Shallow Like That

This is important journalism, you MUST CLICK NOW.
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

New Jersey Likes Indicted Senator Crook Man Better Than Chris Christie. Hmmmmm!

Chris Christie is less popular in New Jersey than the state legislature, an indicted senator, and the zika virus. We made one of those up, but it might still be true.
The latest Stoned Pony

Suddenly Everyone* Wants To Legalize Weed (*Not Everyone)

To bring to life the old cliché that libertarians are just Republicans who want to get high, a couple of conservatives have unexpectedly supported various changes to marijuana laws this week. What's more, there's even a bill in the...
We were in a hurry, but you can still photoshop the sex toy of your choice in there.

New York Pol: Hackers Made Me Follow That Porn Star On Twitter! HACKERS!!!

Here's a Dicktember item for your Likely Explanations bin: A county official in New York knows exactly why he's "following" a porn star on his Twitter account: He was hacked! Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone, a Democrat, explained to the...
And it's been all downhill since 1919

GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote

Sen. Cory Booker's Republican opponent in the New Jersey race for U.S. Senate, Jeff Bell, has an excellent theory (which is his and was invented by him) about why he's way, way behind Booker in the polls: It's those...

The Thirteen Greatest Achievements In Throat Cramming Of 2013

Like most years when there's a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America's) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to...