Tag: cory booker

This is actually an adult doggie now. Good dog, Champ!

Joe Biden Says He’s Running In 2020, And LOL OK STOP TEASING!

It could happen! But let's also start talking about the new generation of badass Democrat leaders, too.
True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself

Harry Reid, Democrats Ask Donald Trump To Deport Steve Bannon Back To 1938

People seem not to like this Steve Bannon. Maybe it's the haircut. Or the fascism.
Or a reptilian shape shifter. Not mutually exclusive.

Sad! Donald Trump’s Live-Tweets Of DNC Very Low-Energy. Pathetic!

Like other great media analysts, Donald J. Trump had thoughts on the first night of the Democratic Convention. They were silly thoughts.

Are You Saying Boo, Or Boo-nie Sanders?

There were a lot of boo-birds at the first night of the DNC. Or were there that many, really?

DNC Night One: Let’s All Just Scream At Each Other Forever! A Livebloog Experience

Hooray, it's time for the great big Democratic Unity Lovefest, isn't it? Everybody's been pretty well-behaved so far, we hear, with only a couple of completely embarrassing outbreaks of rude screaming by Toddlers For Bernie. We bet that nonsense...

Wonkette Ranks Hillary’s VP Picks By Hotness, Because We’re Shallow Like That

This is important journalism, you MUST CLICK NOW.
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

New Jersey Likes Indicted Senator Crook Man Better Than Chris Christie. Hmmmmm!

Chris Christie is less popular in New Jersey than the state legislature, an indicted senator, and the zika virus. We made one of those up, but it might still be true.
The latest Stoned Pony

Suddenly Everyone* Wants To Legalize Weed (*Not Everyone)

To bring to life the old cliché that libertarians are just Republicans who want to get high, a couple of conservatives have unexpectedly supported various changes to marijuana laws this week. What's more, there's even a bill in the...
We were in a hurry, but you can still photoshop the sex toy of your choice in there.

New York Pol: Hackers Made Me Follow That Porn Star On Twitter! HACKERS!!!

Here's a Dicktember item for your Likely Explanations bin: A county official in New York knows exactly why he's "following" a porn star on his Twitter account: He was hacked! Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone, a Democrat, explained to the...
And it's been all downhill since 1919

GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote

Sen. Cory Booker's Republican opponent in the New Jersey race for U.S. Senate, Jeff Bell, has an excellent theory (which is his and was invented by him) about why he's way, way behind Booker in the polls: It's those...

The Thirteen Greatest Achievements In Throat Cramming Of 2013

Like most years when there's a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America's) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to...

Rand Paul Wars On Christmas With Festivus Grievance Tweets

As if it weren't bad enough that the right has turned "Merry Christmas" into a shibboleth, now they're trying to co-opt Festivus.* Senator Rand Paul (R-Galt's Gulch) announced yesterday that he would be tweeting his very own "airing of...

Senate Welcomes Cory Booker With Traditional Obstructionism

Cory Booker, welcome to the Senate. On a day better known for scary costumes, you are one good-looking piece of eye-candy that we are very excited to see more of! And you were sworn in by the only man...

New Jersey Senate Loser Steve Lonegan Would Have Won If It Weren’t For That Darn Government Shutdown

There's a very simple explanation for why Steve Lonegan lost last week's special election for U.S. Senate to Cory Booker: The government shutdown. OK, that, and Lonegan's being a loathsome asshat, maybe. But mostly the government shutdown, Lonegan told...

Cory Booker Marries All The Gays, Destroys Good Christian Heckler In Two-Fer Of Evil (Video)

Here's your Nice Time video for the day: Newark Mayor and Senator-Elect Cory Booker officiating at the city's first same-sex weddings, marrying nine couples just after midnight, when New Jersey joined the rest of the 21st century. Did everything...

Daily Caller Shocker: Carpetbagging Cory Booker Does Not Even Live In Newark Maybe, Conspiracy Goes All The Way To The Top

Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller, everyone's favorite home for racists who can't read good and stuff, has quite the little scoopty scoop, and that is that Cory Booker, who is a better human being than you, is NOT a better...