Here is some footage of Rod Blagojevich being crazy all over the place. How fantastic is it that this egomaniacal kook has run circles around such very important and serious men as Barack Obama, Harry Reid, and Patrick Fitzgerald, simply by pulling a series of comically weird political stunts that seemed too tasteless and bizarre to be real? MORE »

There’s some corruption in New Mexico! (Allegedly.) A California business got a contract maybe through some agency (?) in New Mexico, and this is tied to the Governor’s Department, and Bill Richardson is (still) the governor of N.M., so now he is bowing out of the Commerce Department cabinet post because of the Great Cloud of Scandal, which could get its Taint on Big Bill, and that’s it for Hispanics in Politics, the end. This is all Rod Blagojevich’s fault! [Washington Post/Top of the Ticket]

So Blagojevich tried to shake down Jesse Junior for $25K years ago, and Jesse was all, “I don’t think so,” and then Blaggy somehow made Mrs. Jesse Jackson Junior not get some sweet job, and then he was all, “Now you see what $25,000 is worth, you punk,” and Jesse Junior thought this over, for a couple of years, and then went straight to the U.S. Attorney’s office. Illinois is incredible. [CNN]

Rod Blagojevich, the fifth Beatle, was arrested just three days ago for being a comical idiot who got caught on tape swearing his face off while plotting to sell Barack Obama’s vacated Illinois Senate seat. But he’s not letting anything like an arrest and national humiliation get him down, oh no! He is upbeat and positive about, uh, ignoring all the polls that say he should resign, because a terribly disgraced and effectively powerless governor has many important things to attend to — things he cannot possibly hope to affect in the slightest! MORE »

• ALL IS FORGIVEN, PEGGY: OK so last week she forgot that George Bush was President during the 9/11 attacks, but this week holy crap! Here’s what Peggy Noonan calls Rod Blagojevich in a column titled “Rectitude Chic”: “a lipless, dull-featured, wig-wearing moron with a foul-mouthed harridan of a wife.” HA HA HA HA HA we may return to her column for more “analysis” later in the day, after we have had a few more cups of coffee and an 8-ball. [Wall Street Journal]

Well FINALLY we have a state we can make fun of here on the Wonkette because none of its fourteen (14) residents have time to read this dumb Web site — they’re all still busy staying employed, at actual jobs! (The recession, which loses velocity as it cools, has not yet crept into the snowy north.) So let’s talk some shit about North Dakota while all those lamers toil at the wheel of industry. Let’s see, uh, North Dakota is the Mexico of Canada! Also, all of its politicians are crooks, all two of them. MORE »

Good gravy, we really did not intend to do nothing today except make dirty jokes about lascivious demons with fiendishly specialized sexual equipment, but then Time throws out this headline, and what are we supposed to do, ignore it? The lower half of this photograph (not pictured) shows Barack Obama furtively shielding his genitals from Rod Blagojevich’s insidious, creeping taint. RUN, BARRY!!! [Time]

Well, we had to do this post at some point (not really!). Thank you to The Smoking Gun for providing this juicy excerpt from the FBI’s affadavit re: the various stupid crimes of Illinois Governor Rod “Blaggy” Blagojevich in his attempt to sell a United States Senate seat for a cushy job, a cushy job for his wife, or just some cold motherfuckin’ cash, preferably from Warren Buffett, who has lots of it. MORE »

• BLAGOJEVICH CALLED OUR BARRY A ‘MOTHERFUCKER’! Jesus, show a little respect for the president-elect! From the Politico: “He also appears to think little of the president-elect, whom he calls a ‘motherf***er’ at one point.” [Politico]

Rod Blagojevich, the comically corrupt governor of Illinois, was arrested at his house this morning, by the Feds, for an absolutely insane amount of (alleged) crimes, including a brazen attempt to SELL Barack Obama’s old Senate seat to, literally, the highest bidder. Blagojevich also wanted the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune fired, in exchange for his approval of the Wrigley Field sale by Tribune Co., because the paper kept calling for his impeachment. Everybody knew Blagojevich was an insane crook, including Blagojevich himself, which is why yet another part of his crazy plot was to appoint himself senator, so he could … uh, get more money, to pay lawyers, when he got indicted. Also, a U.S. Senator can’t be impeached as governor of Illinois, right? MORE »

UNCLE TED TO DELIVER HEARTBREAKING SWAN SONG: Ooooh this will be good! We hear that Ted Stevens will be giving his valedictory address to the Senate at 11am Eastern, so we will be liveblogging that. Get yourself a carton of caribou jerkey and we’ll see you back here in an hour. [Washington Post]