Clinton Competing With Biden For Gaffiest Obama Official
Thursday, August 13th, 2009
OMG did you hear what Hillary Clinton said, in Nigeria? “You know we’ve had all kinds of problems in some of our past elections as you might remember. In 2000, our presidential election came down to one state where the brother of the man running for president was the governor of the state, so we have our problems, too.” Which is true, for sure, but sounds a little odd coming out of the mouth of the wife of a former president who wanted to be president herself but settled for secretary of state after serving as a senator of a state she barely lived in. [ABC News]
Maurice Carroll, director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute, says that two-thirds of New Jerseyites “feel personally embarrassed to live in a state where politicians are pictured in handcuffs.” The remaining one-third are imprisoned politicians. [
Poor Ex-Congressman William “Dollar Bill” Jefferson of Louisiana! All the man did was use his seat on the Ways and Means Committee to secretly broker a deal between a Virginia telecom company and the Nigerian vice president, the $90,000 bribe for which he laundered in emptied food wrappers in his home freezer, and now some do-gooder activist Alexandria jury has found him guilty on 11 of 16 corruption counts for a possible sentencing of 115 years in jail. What’s the point of being a congressman, then? [
Were you in northern New Jersey this morning? Ha ha, now you are in jail, maybe! Seems the FBI arbitrarily decided that today would be a good day to just 
OMG IT IS NEWS, TODAY, BUT NOT ABOUT TEA OR BAGS.
Ha! We get a tip that says “oh, good grief” with a link to some page called “Support Burris,” and we figured it was just some dumb petition to try to keep Roland Burris in office even though his 15 minutes as Senate Clown from Illinois are up. But no, Roland Burris’s ambitions appear to extend far beyond maintaining the most tenuous of grips on his two-year Senate appointment. 
Do not despair, jobless people! You’re not alone. Several members of Congress who lost their positions in the 2008 elections have yet to find gainful employment, and perennial loser Alberto Gonzales also remains at loose ends because George Bush was the only person left in America who would hire him. 
Roland Burris! This guy! The respected Chicago politician who has his own glamorous mausoleum already built and who repeatedly lost in his many attempts at seeking a public office higher than dog catcher managed to weasel his way into the Senate by calling Harry Reid a racist. As we watched events unfold in December and January we were frankly amazed by his PR strategy which involved, number one, accepting an appointment by a TAINTED governor that literally no other self-respecting Democrat in the state would take, and number two, again, calling Harry Reid a racist. 
Oh dang there goes yet another candidate for President Obama’s cabinet, felled by a cloud of money-scandal! Sarah Palin would have made a wonderful Commerce Secretary — after all, she’s a Republican, and knows all about international trade after her clothes-buying tour of the People’s Republic of Manhattan. However, her prospects have been dashed on account of her owing TAXES TAXES TAXES on the per diem meal-and-incidental stipend she charged the state of Alaska while living in her Wasilla trash palace instead of the governor’s mansion in Juneau. 