Tag: corn

Did Ted Cruz Eated A Booger During Republican Debate?

While the most important policy issue of Thursday's Republican debate was indisputably Donald Trump's declaration that the State of His Penis was adequate, we would be remiss if we ignored the question of what issued from Ted Cruz's nose,...

Wingnut GOP Candidate Declares Self Senator In *Real* U.S. Government Because Sekrit 1871 Law Stole Constitution

Let's say you want to be a member of the Iowa Senate, but you decide that actually running for the seat is expensive and tedious, and you realize that even if you win, you're mostly going to be voting...

Romney, Bachmann, Other Various Losers Collect Like Dust In Iowa

Oh golly, just another eight months or so before the Iowa Caucus, which means it's time for Wonkette to go into high gear. Mitt Romney is in Iowa! Michele Bachmann is planning an announcement at her personal Waterloo, which...

Fictional ‘Tim Pawlenty’ Candidate Vows To End Medicare, Social Security

How might make-believe GOP candidate Tim Pawlenty distinguish himself with the elderly Tea Party voters? By taking away their Medicare and Social Security, so they will die! This is a very tricky strategy that only a fictional Minnesota superhero...

Chuck Grassley’s Manic Twitter Behavior Is Ruining His Marriage

We all know what happens when Chuck Grassley isn't sleeping or unconscious: He uploads, uh, "bytes" to his Twitter Page. Mrs. Barbara Grassley has had enough. But every time she asks her husband politely, "Don't you think you've done...

OMG It’s Fall, Part I

Well it's fall. Summer was fun, but, hey, it's gone, and now it's fall. Fall brings pretty leaves, perhaps a political affair (nesting occurs more during these months), maybe a public option, and who knows what else! And for...

Deep Space Aliens Destroy Corn Field With Sarah Palin Cutout

Did you see the movie Signs, where, uh, Jack Bauer or whatever was the alien preacher and destroyed Jesus' corn fields and then was killed by water? Well it was a weird movie and now look at this: a...