Wonkette

If you take a cop’s parking space in Washington, he will leave a neatly typed note on your windshield blaming the liberals in Congress and wishing you would behave like the nice white heterosexual George Allen supporters in Virginia. And then he has your car towed. And planted with drugs.

Thanks to tipster “JSJ” for scanning the note.

We’re getting to this important news a whole 15 hours late, due to everything and everybody going insane. MORE »

Instead of protecting and serving, local cops have launched a jihad against the crippled and sickly.

Here we have a D.C. Metro Police cruiser parked in a handicapped space at the Harris Teeter in Pentagon Row. We know it is a crowded parking lot, but the handicapped spot? What kind of grocery emergency could warrant that, especially when the fire lane and loading zone were wide open?

Oh well. At least they’re not shooting everybody, like the cops in Prince George’s County. And at least Cynthia McKinney didn’t hurt anybody.

Two Prince George’s County police officers shot and killed a shoplifting suspect, another officer accidentally shot his own mother, and a third officer shot a man in a grocery store — all within a few hours Sunday and Monday, police said.

Officials Officially Cross the Line [DCist] MORE »

• In case there was still any doubt as to why MTV will never do a season of Real World in DC: a Francis Fukuyama/Charles Krauthammer blowjob scene. [The Corsair]

• If a journalist writes 4000 words on the relevance of journalism in the internet age, and every reader does the first-n-last paragraph scan, do the other 3900 words exist? [New Yorker]
• Referring to the large number of Boston police officers testing positive for marijuana, Urban League CEO says, “it seems like it’s a chronic problem.” [Boston Globe]
• Mention the Washington Time and bad puns spew forth like diarrhea from the mouth. [Fishbowl DC]

• Jordanian hipsters are ahead of the curve, already discussing Middle Eastern “crisis” with detached irony. [My Occupied Territory] MORE »

• DC Cops still believe arresting murderers who purchase Swedish made penis enlargers with stolen credit cards ain’t in their job description. [Velvet In Dupont]

• Not that it matters — in DC you can stack papers with out ever looking at the stack of paper on your desk. [Cut DC Taxes]
• There’s even money to be made selling tourists a little piece of the pretending-to-work culture. [Are Seven]
• Sorry hippie, these blurbs on the mayoral candidates won’t mean shit to you unless you’re a registered Democrat. [Til Human Voices Wake Us, And We Drown]
• Is it hot in here? Or is Obama talking about STD’s again? [ An Orange County Girl]
• In junior high, calling it a “needle” was an insult. [Grace's Poppies]

• Crime emergency continues as corn-rolled City-council-candidate-car-killer kicks out window, escapes police, vows Cropp is next. [Stop, Blog, And Roll]

• DC braces for the coming throngs of “an unholy army of undead mice.” [Pie Pants]
• Discovery Channel’s new marketing strategy involves catch phrase “I want a mother fucking shark up on this mother fucking building!” [I Am A Lefty; Silver Spring, Singular]
• “Screen On The Green” begins tonight as soon as the sun stops blazing, meaning you can start. [DCist]
• Wired editor and Web 2.0 ethos-definer Chris Anderson was, like everyone else, in a DC postpunk band. [Valleywag]

• No reason to get shook, it’s just a little crime. Sounds like someone’s been watching too much of The Warriors. [America Blog]

• Er, rather it’s a “crime emergency.” Quick! Everyone watch The Warriors for survival tips. [Cut DC Taxes]
• Old people and fat asses are your best friends if you just dropped ass on the Metro. [Sarcastic and Cynical]
• 7-11: Too lazy to keep all the slurpee flavors properly frozen and too cheap to give any of their precious colored sugar water away. [DCist]
• Tucker Carlson’s new show has yet to hit its stride. [Two-Timing the Cosmos]

* Paging: N.W.A. [Velvet In Dupont] MORE »

• See the bright green gas station, see how harmless it is — so shiny and clean. [Jeff Matthews Is Not Making This Up]

• Rep. Steven King — just as scary, if not quite as good a writer. [PageOneQ]
• Math is a tricky mistress. [Whiskey Bar]
• Oh, police state, how do we love thee — let us count the ways. [100% Pure Petroleum Jelliffe]
• Immigration problem: solved. [Jim VanBlaricum]