Tag: cops

Donald Trump Says Hillary Clinton Better Say She’s REAL Sorry For Stating The Obvious

Trump says if Hillary won't apologize, she better drop out! We bet Hillz is SO SCARED RIGHT NOW.

Donald Trump’s Dallas Statement Full Of Ennui Over Racial Tensions He Actively Incited

He's sending thoughts and prayers though!
Freedumb fighter

Michele Fiore At War With Pussy Nevada Cops Who Lack The Balls To Let Her Shoot Them

Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore is sick and tired of people misunderstanding her important thoughts about the need to shoot federal agents who aren't really cops. A while back, she did a teevee interview in which she said it's perfectly...

Is That A Dick In Michele Fiore’s Cop Boyfriend’s Pocket, Or Is He Going To Shoot Her?

Our favorite Nevada lawmaker loves the Men in Blue very literally, and would only point a gun at terrorist federal agents.
To serve, protect, and pass to the right

Orange County Cops Charged After They Eated All The Snacks In Pot Dispensary Raid

You wacky stoners might remember -- were your synapses not fried by the Demon Weed -- those cops in Santa Ana, California, who were caught on video apparently sampling the inventory of a local marijuana dispensary they raided last...

Donald Trump Politely Pats Competitors On Butts, Says ‘Good Game’

It's a new day in America, because Donald Trump said so, and it's time for the Republicans to act sweet and come together so Trump can Make America Great Again and bomb the shit out of ISIS and make...

Texas Gleefully Jizzing Itself Over All The Poor Folks It’s About To Arrest

Ahhhhh, March! The weather's getting warmer, the bumblebees are bzzzzzzzing out of their bumblebee holes (that's where they live), and in Texas, law enforcement officers and judges are coming together (literally) in one big mesquite BBQ-flavored jizzfest over the Great...

Tennessee Sheriff So Mad Beyoncé Shot Up His House

Hey white people, how's that Beyoncé freakout going for you? Still in a corner crying about the part of the "Formation" video where a tiny little black child murders every cop in the world, with dancing? A child who might...
Can't you see how she's dividing America right here?

Beyoncé Super Bowl Show Features Black People, Wingnuts Super Outraged

Sunday's Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show at Levi's Stadium in Facebook, California, was tinged with controversy. In an astonishing move, the NFL chose Coldplay to headline as an obvious diversity hire. Some more sensitive types were unsettled by...
Lesbian outlaws

Lesbians Terrorize Hawaii Supermarket With Kisses, Lesbianism

Same old story. Go on Hawaiian vacation, go to grocery store with lesbian lover lady, research various melons (the produce kind, not each other's), kiss lesbian lover on cheek, end up in jail for a couple days for allegedly...
The internet is a wonderful thing

Pot-Munching Cops Too High To Destroy All The Hidden Cameras, Oops

Today our parable comes from the Book Of Chootzpah: In the Year Of the Bad Cop, the City of Santa Ana did decide that there were too many medical marijuana dispensaries operating without a license, and lo, they did...
Pppppplease!

Mean GoFundMe Refuses To Raise Cash For Allegedly Murderous Baltimore Cops

Why does GoFundMe hate the wingnuts so much? It seems like every day, somebody is putting up a campaign, only to have it canceled, just because the beneficiaries of the sweet wingnut cash quote unquote "broke laws." First you...
Meth, baby

Mind If We Grab Your Ass? Your Florida Roundup

Florida. It’s a marvelous place, no? A place so resplendent that millionaire Major League Baseball players choose not only to call the state home, but to live in a camper behind a Florida Walmart, because Florida is just that...

Greetings From The Freest* State In The Land, Suckers: Your Florida Roundup

Good news, everyone! According to some outfit called the John Locke Foundation, which is based in North Carolina and apparently doesn’t visit often, Florida is not only the state where half-senile olds turn out in droves to elect baldheaded,...

Louisiana Police Love Retro So Much, Decide to Bring Back Vintage Sodomy Laws

Baton Rouge police have shown themselves to be the ultimate in hipster law enforcement by arresting two men on charges of sodomy, a "crime" that hasn't been illegal for almost twelve years. Ooh, vintage! For those of you who keep up...
Can we still say 'he seems nice' when he actually does seem nice?

Decent Seattle Police Union Head Risks Getting Thrown Out Of Police Union Head Union

This week, the Seattle police union went out of its way to tell cops that they'd better be OK with diversity, or go elsewhere. On its Facebook page, the Seattle Police Officers Guild reminded officers not to be assholes...