cops
How Much Pain Can Cops Inflict On You? John Roberts To Decide This, Ugh
Hey, fun exercise: imagine nine people getting together to talk about tiny little gadgets that were invented specifically to cause agonizing pain, and figure out the parameters of who is allowed to use them on you, and in what context? Sounds awesome, right? Now, what if one of these nine people were, say, Antonin Scalia, [...]
Fat Chicago Cop Chokes Kid Out to Rousing Applause of ‘Fox Nation’
Here is a kid probably being an asshole. He is all aggro and in this fat cop’s face even while some pretty girl with long luscious hair tries to stop him by distracting him with her young nubile body. Yup, total jerkwad move, kid. We get it, you have testosterone now. Maybe go smoke a [...]
Pot Fanatics Ruin Obama’s Attempt to Talk About Serious Things Again
In another failed attempt to have a Serious Discussion about things that allegedly matter to the American people, like the invisibility of jobs, the mirage-like appearance of money and the light-as-air noggins of the land’s lawmakers, the White House held a contest to see which American person-submitted questions President Obama should answer in a YouTube [...]
Sketchy ‘Activist’ Trying To Sex You Is Just an Undercover Cop, Probably
Do you like to protest against the 1% and also rage against the machine and also find sex partners at the various activist actions? WATCH OUT, and not just for the usual reasons of venereal disease and having some dude never leave your couch. Undercover police are increasingly being given orders to have sexytime with [...]
Vacant DC Building Claimed As ‘Public Property Under Community Control’
Everywhere, there is vacant real estate. Vacant storefronts, vacant warehouses, vacant McMansions and barns and especially big-city buildings stuck in some twilight of redevelopment or property speculation or repossession. The collapse of the Great Global Real Estate Bubble may have destroyed a lot of theoretical wealth, but it also left an abundance of places to [...]
A Children’s Treasury of American Cops Brutally Attacking Citizens
How did America’s heavily militarized security guards for the 1% spend the work week? Oh, just pepper-spraying sitting students in the face, macing old ladies, stomping peaceful protesters, yanking women around by their ponytails, destroying libraries and bloodying the faces of America’s citizens. You know, what they’ve dreamed of doing for decades.
Surprise, Homeland Security Coordinates #OWS Crackdowns
Remember when people were freaking out over the Patriot Act and Homeland Security and all this other conveniently ready-to-go post-9/11 police state stuff, because it would obviously be just a matter of time before the whole apparatus was turned against non-Muslim Americans when they started getting complain-y about the social injustice and economic injustice and [...]
500 Riot Cops Attack #OccupyOakland With Tear Gas, Rubber Bullets
What will it be like when America’s tensed-up trigger-finger cops are finally let loose upon the populist demonstrations all over the country? We got a pretty good preview early this morning in Oakland, where the Darth Vader-masked shock troops were set upon the peaceful protesters in their small, peaceful encampment. According to witnesses calling in [...]
Fox Clown Bill O’Reilly Goes Nuts When His Wife Dumps Him For a Cop
Narcissistic sex creep and fizzled-out teevee goon Bill O’Reilly apparently has a wife! Who would marry such a festering turd and try to compete with the attention of the mirror? And who would stay married to him after the worldwide exposure of his comically perverse sex tapes about a loofah, themselves the result of his [...]
Missouri Cops Repeatedly Shoot Concrete Alligator, Fail To Kill It
Police in Keystone Independence, Missouri, knew just what to do when somebody called about seeing an alleged alligator not bothering anybody on some wooded property somewhere: They drove right over and tried to kill it, by shooting it repeatedly with their rifles. But, eventually, they figured out it was just a concrete lawn ornament. So [...]
Right-Wing Radio Nut/Ex-Cop Accused of Murdering Neighbor
A former Baltimore cop, carpet installer and wingnut host of some web-only thing called “Liberty Works Radio Network” has been arrested for the shooting murder of his next-door neighbor, because the neighbor’s dog allegedly wouldn’t stay in its own yard. Charles “Pete” Richter (?), a 66-year-old ex-cop and failed candidate for Queen Anne’s County sheriff [...]
Dan Maes LIED About His Secret Agent Secret Life
Colorado gubernatorial candidate and United Nations bicycle conspiracy whistleblower Dan Maes will win the War on Drugs, because he is a former undercover police officer who knows how to drug-raid the wrong house and then shoot the evil drug dealer/harmless old man’s violent pit bull/miniature poodle. (When Dan Maes is governor the first thing he [...]
Al Gore Is Super Excited For Everyone To Hear About His Groping, Also He Likes Porn a Lot
Police in Portland have announced they are re-re-opening the investigation into that time Al Gore allegedly groped a masseuse at a hotel four years ago. Third time’s the charm when it comes to cock-grabbing incidents, apparently. As for Gore, did you expect him to offer No Comment on this? YOU GUESSED WRONG. Al Gore is [...]
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