Tag Archives: cook county

  and speaking of thankful...

Nice Time / Cry Time: Illinois Judge Orders Expedited Gay Wedding For Lady With Terminal Cancer

Let’s have a round of applause for U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Durkin, and a congratulatory toast, plus a few buckets of tears, for Vernita Gray and Patricia Ewert, who thanks to Judge Durkin became the first couple to wed under Illinois’ new law allowing same-sex marriage. The law doesn’t officially go into effect until June 1, 2014, but Durkin ordered the Cook County Clerk’s office to issue a marriage license immediately, since Gray has terminal cancer and may not live that long. She wanted to ensure that Ewert will have all of the spousal rights she’s entitled to. County Clerk David Orr complied with the order and granted the marriage license without any need for a 106-mile car chase or a SWAT team rapelling down the side of the County Building at the Richard J Daley Center, the one with the Picasso sculpture. (Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!) Gray and Ewert were married Wednesday in a private ceremony at their home. Three cheers for judicial activism, please. Read more on Nice Time / Cry Time: Illinois Judge Orders Expedited Gay Wedding For Lady With Terminal Cancer…
  in my arms she was always lolita

Court To Cook County Attorney: No More Creeping On Teenagers, Please

It just isn’t a good time to be a public figure in the Chicago area if you’re into the teen girl thing. First everyone threw up in their mouths a little when Mel Reynolds announced he would run for Illinois’ 2nd Congressional District. Now, teen-romance man/Cook County* Attorney Tim Scannell has himself a Harassment Restraining Order for using too many cliches in his tortured love poems to minors. Read more on Court To Cook County Attorney: No More Creeping On Teenagers, Please…
  go ahead

Illinois Republicans Bravely Propose To Secede From Chicago

Two brave Illinois GOP state legislators are so sick of Chicago’s gays and liberals and their gay liberal mayor and its gay $532 billion economy and its gay St. Patrick’s Day Parade that they have finally just proposed the obvious: wall the damn place off, and let everyone else in Illinois form their own state. Chicago will get to keep everything that is currently located there, and the freedom-loving hillbillies will get to keep the other 16% of the state’s $630 billion economy and the state prisons. (PSSST, TAKE THE DEAL, CHICAGO.) Because, why not? Illinois is America’s “microcosm,” so what better place to finally give up on “America” as a place where competing viewpoints work to coexist and just hold this experiment already? Read more on Illinois Republicans Bravely Propose To Secede From Chicago…