Wonkette

Maverick John McCain is at it again, sticking his finger in the eye of the Republican establishment by saying he wouldn’t rule out a pro-choice running mate. Two names came to mind — Tom Ridge and Michael Bloomberg — and in a recent interview with the Weekly Standard McCain strained to point out that Ridge was far more appealing because he only loved abortions, not both abortions and The Gays. MORE »

Hey, maybe Jeremiah Wright wants Barack Obama to be president after all! Following EXPLOSIVE reports that he was going to publish a picture book in October featuring Barack Obama getting AIDS from the Muslim prophet Mohammad, Reverend Wright’s daughter now says that he has absolutely no plans to write a book any time soon. She also says her father would respond personally to email inquiries, but he is in “email hell,” which we are informed means “a place in Ghana where it’s difficult to send and receive email.” When will Barack Obama apologize for his former pastor’s daughter using the word “hell” so glibly? [The Roland Report]

Hey, at least that’s a welcome bit of good news in all this… wait, sorry…
Ahem. Well. Suppose you’re gonna tell us there’s a downside to all this good-natured anti-immigration fervor next, huh, SPLC? Killjoys. MORE »

Happy Memorial Day! Depending on whether the CAPITOL HILL MAYBE SHOOTING can keep our interest much longer, we at Wonkette will probably be taking the rest of the day off. But our nation’s cartoonists don’t have that option — news can break any time, and it’s not going to take cheap, easy shots at itself, you know.

So, as we do every Friday, we’ve brought in the Comics Curmudgeon to comb through Today’s Cartoons and analyze them for your amusement. Corruption, intelligence, controversy, and dead guys, after the jump.

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Some of the networks were said to be annoyed that the White House had timed the Oval Office address during the May Sweeps, that critical time in the broadcast year when the networks and their affiliates fight for ratings.

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Sorry for the hiatus, folks. But between the dodgy servers and pictures of Katherine Harris’s breasts did you even notice? If I had to sum up yesterday’s chatfest with one word, it would be this: amneleaksty. Immigration and Fitzgerald investigation dominated — which makes sense when you realize that Fitzgerald’s grandparents were probably immigrants.

Hot topics:
• Immigration bill: “bureaucracy of rubber stamps” or “lack[ing] compassion”?
• Leak investigation: Specter says the President needs to come clean, Kerry says “This was not a declassification to educate America, this was a declassification to mislead America.”
• Nuking Iran. Scary!

Quotes to live by:
• Stephanopoulos wonders “how do you solve this Rubik’s cube” of the budget?
• Dionne asks “What did the president forget and when did he forget it?”
• George Will gets legalistic: The President “was trying to discredit, punish, or seek revenge against a critic… where in the federal statues does it say that is forbidden?”
• And in case you’re wondering why he lost: Russert introduces Kerry thusly as the man who won “48.3 percent” of the popular vote.

Kerry: “I thought it was 49.2″
Tim: “48.3 — But who’s counting?”

After the jump: The most optimistic man in America, the calm and cool Joe Wilson (really), and a testy Schieffer.

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* Bush pines for his Crawford crib. [HuffPo]
* Tell Congress exactly whose house America is. [PowerLine]
* Looking for a split-level in a good school district with minimal air raid attacks? Check out a liberal democracy. [Dean's World]
* Move to Massachusetts and break your legs. Don’t cost nothin’. [Q and O]
* Or stay home; can you really afford not to? [Boi From Troy]

An Exclusive News Analysis
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* Feingold cozies up to fringe liberals and same-sex couples; Dems take back his friendship bracelet. [Captain's Quarters]
* The Religious Right parties with Catholics, Mormons, and Muslims to propagate a pro-life agenda. Venue of choice: the United Nations. [Political Cortex]
* Meet Vikas and Oswaldo, two foreigners working in America. One arrived by plane, the other by a flatbed truck under a pile of hay. One lived like a eunuch, the other like a man who saw flashing FREE DAYCARE lights above P.S. 127. Guess which one’s not a welcome guest, even if McCain and Kennedy say so. [Right Wing News]
* Dems flirt with two-jobs-and-18-credit-hours college girls on the Pill. [The Fly Trap]
* DeLay’s stale cologne lingers on our shirts. Who’s strong enough to get theirs dry-cleaned? [DailyKos]

Here’s where we stood as of yesterday:

* Regnery dismissed blogosphere pariah Ben Domenech before the Post was embarrassed into it because of, so they claimed, simple conflict of interest issues.
* Domenech — along with a couple others in positions to know — told us quite clearly that there wasn’t anything more to the story.
* But we also heard better, more interesting stuff.

What we’ve heard today, along with a little bit o’ reporting, is after the jump:

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