Three notable pieces were published this weekend on the painfully slow-moving hookers ‘n’ Congressmen ‘n’ spooks scandal.

• Newsweek’s Brent Wilkes profile

• Ken Silverstein’s “Nine Fingers” Basset story
• The San Diego Union-Tribune’s poker party report

While they are all rich with color (a Nine Fingers “prank letter” filled with sexually explicit talk was intercepted by the KGB, who then tried to blackmail him), they are also all short on hookers (with Newsweek not mentioning them at all). Closer looks, after the jump.

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Let’s return, shall we, to Katherine Harris. Firstly, we’re hearing vague rumors of further implication in WatergateGate (the bit with contractors and bribery, not necessarily the poker parties, unfortunately). Considering the dinner date scandal, it’s not that surprising or far-fetched.

Secondly, we deeply apologize for forgetting to include a bunch of salacious insinuations and double-entendre in our earlier post re. Harris “dating” Charlie Crist, who, as we all remember, is a closet liberal. Who loves women. Women like Katherine Harris, the womanest woman on Capitol Hill. Seriously, we’d take her over Bo Derek any day, if we had to suggest an air of undeniable hetereosexuality. So, yeah, Katy “dated” Crist in the late ’80s. Titter titter. Seriously, it’s a weird story overall, and we think there’s very probably a reason why it came out (so to speak) now, and not any other time in the last 20 years. Some of the less respectable journalists in FLA oughtta look into it.

Then there’s this brilliant Robin Givhanesque piece in the St. Petersburg Times, quickly becoming our favorite newspaper in the country, all about Harris’ outfit from the now famous minute-long tarmac handshake with the President.

The suit is “very sexy, very alluring, but I don’t think that’s the kind of message she wants to send,” said Kelly Machbitz, a member of the Association of Image Consultants International and a monthly makeover contributor to WTVT-Ch. 13’s Good Day Tampa Bay.

PLEASE KEEP THE MAKEOVER PEOPLE AWAY FROM OUR KATY. We love her just the way she is, as God and medical science made her.

Finally, after the jump, watch Harris-mania spread across Florida like sensationalist alligator-attack articles.

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The connection between Mitchell Wade and Porter Goss is so open and obvious that it’s ridiculous how long it took to be brought up. But we hear the Post has some sort of exclusive (whaddya you wanna bet it’ll mention Wade but not hookers) coming up tonight. We’re guessing it’ll be something like: “Porter Goss got lots of money from Brent Wilkes and then promoted his unqualified friend and refused to fire him,” which we already knew. If it’s about the Watergate (and Westin) cards-’n'-hookers parties, we’ll be fucking THRILLED. There’s always the chance that physical evidence linking Goss to the Watergate parties has turned up — like Ken Silverstein’s photos, for example. MORE »

“…so you say there’s a limo on the way, Representative Harris?” MORE »

Yes! We haven’t heard anything interesting about Abramoff in days, Fitzgerald is taking his sweet-ass time, and gas prices are the lamest hot button issue we can think of, so thank god for Duke Cunningham: MORE »

* If only Jude Law would sleep with a nanny in a gerrymandered district . . . [HuffPo]
* Future Iraqi Wal-Mart Super Center, this is your cue. [AMERICAblog]
* After a long day of terror plotting, extremists just want to kick back with a little XXX porn. [The Jawa Report]
* Everybody’s buzzing about it. Michelle Malkin’s starting a conservative video-blogging network. In related news, the Columbia School of Journalism has just violently imploded. [Michelle Malkin]
* According to complicated algorithms and several parabolic curves, Amnesty International shouldn’t publish things where TI-83 users can find them. [Harry's Place]

This is not satire: MORE »

• Joseph Ellis smashes together second term metaphors with abandon: “Lame ducks that can’t enforce discipline on their own party, chickens come home to roost, and you get in a bubble or a cocoon inside your own White House.” [Face the Nation]
• Wonkette family fave comic “Get Fuzzy” gets political. “I hereby call for the immediate release of Scooter Libby!” [Comics.com]
• One of the most awesomest things about living in D.C. are the ads for fighter planes on the Metro. Because, you know, sometimes you think, “Well, if I had a couple billion….” Finally, someone explains why those ads exist. [WP]
• WaPo wants its readers to “remix” it. Can we do something with the Style section? [WashingtonPost.com]
• “I Can’t Be The Only Person Who Is Reminded Of Spinal Tap” [INDC Journal]