contests
Can You Identify the Candidate Goblins In Our GOP Debate Blingee?
We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night’s debate liveblogging — this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers ‘n lamers who must be banned — but a cursory glance last night revealed that nobody matched the goblins in our Republican Debate Blingee [...]
SEND US SEXY PICTURES OF *YOU* IN YOUR WONKETTE T-SHIRTS: We learned from the Comics Curmudgeon (who is also your morning editor Josh Fruhlinger) that readers love to see fellow readers wearing funny shirts from the site they’re all reading. Why? Probably something about psychology or pornography.
SEMI-MUSLIM UNDERWEAR MODEL WINS TEEVEE PRIZE: Ever since that “Miss USA Teenager” show with that dumb gal from South Carolina who, ultimately, is much smarter than Sarah Palin, we have closely followed the teevee beauty pageants put on by Donald Trump. Today that hard work paid off when we noticed some gal from Michigan won [...]
CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR THE PROMISED WORLD WINNERS: Miss Natalie Elder quoted “Take the ‘A’ Train,” John Downs dropped “Let’s Fall In Love,” and Philip Bender mentioned “Blue Skies,” so they have defeated the Puzzle of Weirdness and shall each receive a copy of Lisa Tucker’s new novel, hooray! Thanks to the crazy number of Wonkette [...]
Win a Copy of Lisa Tucker’s ‘The Promised World,’ By Proving You Can Read!
We’ve got three (3) copies of bestselling author Lisa Tucker’s crazily well-reviewed new novel, The Promised World, available as special Wonkette Prizes for three readers who solve the Puzzle of Weirdness. UPDATE: WE HAVE WINNERS, NO MORE EMAILS PLEASE!
A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu
Back in May or February or some other month, the world went nuts over a bunch of Mexicans giving everyone flu, from pigs, in an attempt to take over the world. But when Americans actually got this flu, they did not find it much worse than “regular American flu,” which only kills old people, gremlins, [...]
Everyone Participate In Mitt Romney’s Baseball Essay Contest!
First: HOW HOT is Mittens in high definition? Mmm, 1080p of crisp, orange-pored lies. But what does he want? It’s a contest! Mittens knows that there are radical terrorists literally everywhere trying to end America and specifically you. What we need now, Mittens suggests, are more Essays. An Essay Contest. Winner gets to sit on [...]
Liz Kucinich on ‘Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars’
The hot wife of lovable libtard Congressman Dennis Kucinich has entered some dancing-type contest in her adopted city of Cleveland, home of downtown shooting victims, accused mutilators, and drunken wreckers of motorized bar stools. Congressman Kucinich would like you to vote for Elizabeth on Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars, a vigorous competition featuring Cleveland celebrities. [...]
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