Tag Archives: contests

  but where's bristol palin?

Wow, 50 People Did That Washington Post Win-a-Date-With-Broder Contest

That dumb Washington Post op-ed contest has put up the entries of its first-round winners or whatever, so the future of American thought has been secured. And there are 50 of them, because somehow more than 2 people entered this thing! You can also click to “vote” for some of the op-eds. Some guy named Bria Ho is currently leading that with only 106 votes, and his op-ed is about how the Washington Post should not have this contest because the Internet is filthy or something like that. What? He also mentions “‘lulz catz,'” to prove to us that he doesn’t know proper Internet terminology because he doesn’t use the Internet at all, despite being in an Internet contest. But more importantly, somebody e-mailed us and said one of our very own Wonketteers is in the running for this. Our condolences. Read more on Wow, 50 People Did That Washington Post Win-a-Date-With-Broder Contest…
  the future of test prep

Washington Post Doing Another ‘America’s Next Great Pundit’ Thing

As the air turns crisp and the leaves begin to fall, the Washington Post has once again launched a dumb contest to select new dumb op-ed contributors. They sent us an e-mail about this because they know we are fans of their opinion page, and apparently they are calling this “America’s Next Great Pundit, Season II,” which makes it sound like a real teevee show! Wow, if only! That would certainly get ratings. So you are once again invited to submit an entry into this contest, but please no minorities or women or people younger than 55. That was the problem they had with last year’s contest. Read more on Washington Post Doing Another ‘America’s Next Great Pundit’ Thing…
  helping our blog friends

RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest

With nothing else to talk about today, despite the fact that Sharia is slowly being added to law books all over the country, RedState decided they were gonna have themselves a good ol’ Photoshoppin’ contest with a photo of the newly made-over Oval Office. But three hours later, why has no one entered yet? “Da Rules: Don’t be profane, don’t be disgusting, don’t be crazy. This is for fun.” First of all, “Da”? That sounds BLACK. And it’s impossible not to be profane or disgusting or crazy when you make a racist Photoshop. And also Photoshops of the Oval Office are VERY SERIOUS MATTERS for conservatives, not “for fun.” So we are providing a Photoshopped image of a floating Erick Erickson with his trusty laptop in this version of RedState’s Oval Office photo, and we are holding a Blingee contest! Read more on RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest…
  bush told us to go shopping

SEND US SEXY PICTURES OF *YOU* IN YOUR WONKETTE T-SHIRTS: We learned from the Comics Curmudgeon (who is also your morning editor Josh Fruhlinger) that readers love to see fellow readers wearing funny shirts from the site they’re all reading. Why? Probably something about psychology or pornography. Read more on …
  so does this mean osama lost or *won*?

SEMI-MUSLIM UNDERWEAR MODEL WINS TEEVEE PRIZE: Ever since that “Miss USA Teenager” show with that dumb gal from South Carolina who, ultimately, is much smarter than Sarah Palin, we have closely followed the teevee beauty pageants put on by Donald Trump. Today that hard work paid off when we noticed some gal from Michigan won the “Miss USA Barely Legal” contest even though she tripped on her nightgown and is “kinda Muslim.” Welcome to the real America, underwear model Rima Fakih! [NYT/E-Online] Read more on …
  taking the bait

Verdict: WaPo Pundit Contestants All Massively Better Than Richard Cohen

We’ve read these ten columns from the Washington Post–Newsweek Interactive Kaplan Test Prep Daily’s Actual Sex Contest, and not a single one pissed us off as much as an average column by George Will, Richard Cohen, Charles Krauthammer, David Ignatius, Bill Kristol, Fred Hiatt, Jackson Diehl, Ruth Marcus, Michael Gerson, David Broder, etc. But maybe we just don’t know them yet? Read more on Verdict: WaPo Pundit Contestants All Massively Better Than Richard Cohen…
  it doesn't have to be good

Washington Post Pundit Contest Submission Period Ends Tonight, You Guys!

You have until 11:59 p.m. to submit your essay to the Washington Post‘s “America’s Next Great Pundit” contest, the winner of which receives two doses of Richard Cohen’s “orange” flavor Metamucil! Supposedly the judging and elimination rounds will begin late next week and… oh god… we are just not prepared for this avalanche of comedy. [Washington Post] Read more on Washington Post Pundit Contest Submission Period Ends Tonight, You Guys!…
  you're a wiener!

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR THE PROMISED WORLD WINNERS: Miss Natalie Elder quoted “Take the ‘A’ Train,” John Downs dropped “Let’s Fall In Love,” and Philip Bender mentioned “Blue Skies,” so they have defeated the Puzzle of Weirdness and shall each receive a copy of Lisa Tucker’s new novel, hooray! Thanks to the crazy number of Wonkette Readers who took part in the contest! Read more on …
  contests and books together at last

Win a Copy of Lisa Tucker’s ‘The Promised World,’ By Proving You Can Read!

We’ve got three (3) copies of bestselling author Lisa Tucker’s crazily well-reviewed new novel, The Promised World, available as special Wonkette Prizes for three readers who solve the Puzzle of Weirdness. UPDATE: WE HAVE WINNERS, NO MORE EMAILS PLEASE! Read more on Win a Copy of Lisa Tucker’s ‘The Promised World,’ By Proving You Can Read!…
  death

A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu

Back in May or February or some other month, the world went nuts over a bunch of Mexicans giving everyone flu, from pigs, in an attempt to take over the world. But when Americans actually got this flu, they did not find it much worse than “regular American flu,” which only kills old people, gremlins, and dragons. This false alarm did not stop the government, a.k.a. “that Sebelius lady,” from launching a YouTube contest in JULY to “create a 15, 30, or 60 second video Public Service Announcement (PSA) that will inform and motivate people to take steps that will help prevent the spread of the flu.” That means any flu! The submission period ends tonight at midnight, and the winner will receive $2,500 while his or her winning video will “be featured on broadcast TV and on government Web sites.” Your Wonkette has viewed all 155 submissions (read: like six or seven), and… uh… you’re in a bit of a bind, Sebelius. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu…
  the greatest american since jesus

Everyone Participate In Mitt Romney’s Baseball Essay Contest!

First: HOW HOT is Mittens in high definition? Mmm, 1080p of crisp, orange-pored lies. But what does he want? It’s a contest! Mittens knows that there are radical terrorists literally everywhere trying to end America and specifically you. What we need now, Mittens suggests, are more Essays. An Essay Contest. Winner gets to sit on his lap at the baseball field. Read more on Everyone Participate In Mitt Romney’s Baseball Essay Contest!…
  rigged soviet-style elections

Liz Kucinich on ‘Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars’

The hot wife of lovable libtard Congressman Dennis Kucinich has entered some dancing-type contest in her adopted city of Cleveland, home of downtown shooting victims, accused mutilators, and drunken wreckers of motorized bar stools. Congressman Kucinich would like you to vote for Elizabeth on Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars, a vigorous competition featuring Cleveland celebrities. Tune in to News Channel 5 between 5am and 7am on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and then vote or whatever. Just vote. How do you vote? Who knows, your editor can’t even make the videos work on that news site. [The Hill] Read more on Liz Kucinich on ‘Cleveland’s Dancing with the Stars’…
  furry fandom

Plushie Exhibit Submissions Welcome Now!

Art Whino Gallery and Licorice Tree (a maker of super creepy plushies with, uhh, human teeth) are looking for submissions for a plushies group exhibit, “Mortal Plush: I Am Not Your Toy” set for July 11. Read more on Plushie Exhibit Submissions Welcome Now!…
  pagan rituals

Call for Submissions: WaPo’s Annual Peep Show

Here’s a Peep Show for the whole family: The Washington Post is now accepting submissions for its third annual Peeps Diorama Contest, in celebration of the “candy” Peeps that are somehow representative of Easter, in America. Read more on Call for Submissions: WaPo’s Annual Peep Show…