• Barack Obama has everything he needs to take over the world (1,000 kilos of moutarde de Dijon, his mother-in-law’s crystal ball, and uh, Brookstone Tempur-Pedic Comfort-Step slippers). [TPM]
• In the words of Lenin: “A lie told often enough helps Jim Inhofe manage a chubby.” [Think Progress]
• L’Alberto, a new opera by the great Monteverdi, retells the Greek tragedy of an attorney general who ventures to the Underworld, but then doesn’t recall how or why. [The Daily Dish]
• Azerbaijan, also known as “Egypt” if you subscribe to Fox News Geographic, is very sensitive about donkeys. And human rights. Best not to bring either up, if you happen to visit Cairo. [AMERICAblog]
• For Pete’s sake, how much cocaine did you people snort in the ’80s? Were you brushing your teeth with powder? Apparently, because according to Matt’s fancy Excel graph, you all got totally ripped and bought a new Porsche every day. Props. [Matt Yglesias]

Well, this is the topper. Barack Obama cannot be the American president because he refuses to participate in our glorious national tradition of giving our children lots of expensive plastic shit for them to choke on all the time. These communist Obamas throw birthday parties for their tots but do not give them actual presents. What other subversive values are the Obamas teaching their children? MORE »