Tag: constitution

Kellyanne Conway Can’t Delete Donald Trump’s Twitter, Because She’s Not His Real Dad

We sort of have sympathy for Kellyanne Conway. SORT OF.

BREAKING! Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Judge And His Wife Are *Not* Banging Their Houseboy, Nosario

Judge Tim Philpot says gay marriage is just like jumbo shrimp and magnificent chihuahuas. THOSE THINGS AREN'T EVEN REAL!

Donald Trump’s Campaign Manager Curious About This ‘Constitution’ You Keep Mentioning

Kellyanne Conway sat for a long interview with Rachel Maddow on Wednesday night. It did not go well for Kellyanne!

Ben Carson Wishes That Mean Muslim Khan Couple Would Say Sorry To Donald Trump

Ben Carson needs to STFU and get off our television, that is what we say.

Wonkagenda: Friday, 07/29/2016

Here's you morning newz breif! YOU READ IT RIGHT NOW!
He gets cranky if there's no pudding

Good News, Donald Trump Might Not Even Serve As President If He’s Elected!

In this constitutional scenario, the new president would be either Ivanka Trump or dead Ronald Reagan's corpse farts.

Good Mississippi Christians Can’t Discriminate Against Yucky Gay Homos No More, Unfair!

A mean federal judge says Mississippi's entire gay-hatin' law is unconstitutional. Does the U.S. Constitution even APPLY to Mississippi?

Fox News Idiots Worried Anderson Cooper Too Flaming Gay To Report On Orlando Mass Shootings

How dare Anderson Cooper be mean to that nice bigot lady who's just trying to help?

Ben Shapiro Making Trouser Starbursts Over Sexy New Candidate David French (Who?)

Well, we guess Ben Shapiro, former lover of all things Breitbart, is one of the Renegade Jewishes now, officially, as he is drenching the front part of his bathing suit region with Embarrassment Stains over Bill Kristol's boy wonder independent...
ryan c, man's pocket Constitution says this is some bullshit, man.

Ryan Bundy Doesn’t Understand Why He Can’t Have His Guns. In Jail.

Why is jail so much like jail?

New #NeverTrump Plan To Stop Donald Trump Is BRB CAN’T STOP GIGGLING

Maybe this would work! Or maybe there would be riots!
Guys with beards this epic are either brilliant or fucking nuts

Arkansas Gentleman In Jail Just For Loving Bible Too Much, Threatening To Kill Seven Mayors

Guy who threatened seven mayors insisted that learning the 10 Commandments along with his ABCs made him the man he is today. Hmm.
Hold on, hold on, still thinkin' ...

Ted Cruz Knows Dildos Are Slippery Slope To Banging Your Sister

<a href="http://wonkette.com/600562/good-christian-girls-riding-dildos-straight-to-hell"></a>Tuesday, we told you about a disturbing trend Astrogliding its way across America, wherein otherwise pure Christian lady humans are losing their Christian salvation by playing with dildos all the time. If only somebody was willing to ride...
Strange, we keep finding reasons to use this

Mississippi: You Call That A Gay-Hatin’ Bill, North Carolina? THIS Is A Gay-Hatin’ Bill!

Doesn't it feel like we're taking a little bus tour of U.S. America these days, to see the new, enchanted ways everybody's coming up with to screw the gays and the BLTs? Today we are in Mississippi, where Republican Gov....
This would fix everything

Shame If Someone Had To Shoot SCOTUS Nominee To Teach Him About Second Amendment

In case you were wondering if we have reached peak foaming-at-the-mouth outrage yet over President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, hahaha, aren't you adorable? We have, however, reached the part of our civilized national debate where Very Concerned Citizens casually...

GOP To Hold Its Breath Until It Turns Blue, Or Until Hillary Wins White House

As promised, Oval-Office-thiever-in-chief Barry B. Bamz O'Baby YoMama nominated a perfectly reasonable and qualified white dude to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court. As also promised, congressional Republicans took all of zero seconds to say "NO WAY, HOMBRE!" because "principles"...