constitution

Wonketanians, we have failed you, and for that we are humbly sorry. How have we let you down? Because it has been three whole days since this shining diamond of dumb, GOP gubernatorial candidate Taylor Haynes, elbowed his way over the Wyoming horizon to open his mouth and let spew forth a veritable gusher of […]

“He said, ‘If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.’ Oh yeah?” This was my mother yelling at the president, which I hadn’t heard her do since Bush II. This was a woman who can hardly believe how much the Republican Party has changed since she registered to vote for Richard Nixon. Who voted […]

We only started to pay attention to exciting new minor league wingnut Michael Peroutka a few months ago when he explained how evolution was against the Constitution. Little did we know that he is running (as a Republican, natch) for office in Anne Arundel County, Maryland. In fact, as of late Tuesday, he’s leading the […]

In today’s Republican primary run-off election, a Texas businessman who homeschools one of his two kids is the Tea Party-backed primary challenger for the nomination to a seat on the State Board of Education. Eric Mahroum says that there have been entirely too many people on the Board who have worked in schools, and that […]

You guys all remember Judge Roy Moore, the Alabama Hero who was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court after refusing to comply with a U.S. Supreme Court order to remove a two-ton Ten Commandments monument that he’d installed at the court. That was back in 2003, don’t you feel old? And then he got reelected […]

It’s been a little while since we’ve checked in with America’s Worst “Historian,” David Barton; last time we talked about him was in November, when he was explaining the science of how Abortion causes climate change. Following that detour into the sciences, he seems to have returned to his primary field of study, lying about […]

Say hello to John Stone and his little friend! His ancestor, he tells us, “used a cannon like this to fight the British in Savannah and win us the Constitution,” which doesn’t make one lick of sense since any fool knows that John Stone’s ancestor was actually fighting for the Articles of Confederation. But perhaps […]

Today, Georgians with a hyperinflated sense of ego-driven invincibility rejoiced as Governor Nathan Deal signed into law a bill that allows them to protect innocent victims virtually anywhere they wish, like when they’re drinking or when someone gives them the sideeye for not putting anything in the collection plate. Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal signed a wide-ranging […]

A new ad implies that South Carolina’s Democratic candidate for governor, Vincent Sheheen, advocates punching your girlfriend in the face. Allegedly, Sheheen is not just soft on crime, he actually sides with criminals, supporting your right to rape and pillage. It must be true: the Republican Governors Association told us so. Rachel Maddow, and everyone […]

Now look, maybe you commie hippies think that the Civil Rights Act was a pretty good idea. It was was signed into law 50 years ago, George Bush celebrated its anniversary last week with a Lyndon Johnsonesque dick joke and all. But have you given any thought to whether it’s actually legal? Freshman Florida congressbagger […]

Earlier this year, Tennessee faced the terrifying possibility that workers at a Volkswagen plant in Chattanooga might vote to unionize. And while the UAW ultimately lost the election, the wise Republicans who control the Tennessee House of Representatives know that the state needs to be vigilant. So they introduced a bill to outlaw “mass picketing” […]

Remember that mean teacher in Louisiana who told one of her kids he was “stupid” for being a Buddhist? And remember how his parents sued and the ACLU was all, “Hey, mean lady, you can’t go around saying stuff like that in the public schools,” and her parish school superintendent was all, “Yeah, huh, she […]

Michele Bachmann leads a rough life. Despite being a Congresswoman, former presidential front-runner, and a national spokesperson for Crazy Eye Syndrome, she has a problem. As a straight person, she is tired of being bullied by the gays all the time. Bachmann recently went on the Lars Larson show to discuss CPAC, and discussed being […]

George Will sucks. He has managed to garble together some wordthings in the Washington Post about Lois Lerner and the IRS scandal, and eleventy million percent of them are full of suckitude. It is like a universal ball of suck shat out a person-sized suck-turd and named it George Will, and now we are stuck […]

“Why isn’t Obama talking about black-on-white violence? Why won’t Obama acknowledge that minorities are doing crimes? When will Obama tell young men of color to be responsible and get married and don’t do crimes?” Asking these questions — indignantly and at length — is as close as many commentators on the right will get to the […]