constitution
Arkansas GOP Hero Proposes Hilarious Amendment To Put Liz Cheney In Jail
We all have family members who are fuck-ups, right? Uncle Larry who gives a creepy smile to the 14-year-old cousins at the family reunion, or Aunt Peg who has four DUIs. Back in Biblical times, the sins of family were sometimes used to punish innocent people. But that was long ago when people still believed [...]
Boston Manhunt Ends Without Need For Waterboarding Or Wayne LaPierre
OK, Wonketteers, what seemed extremely unlikely has actually happened: Johnny Law has captured Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, and they did so without having to torture anyone, disregard the Constitution, or rely on a self-appointed army of Barney Fifes to do it. And since he was captured rather than shot [...]
James O’Keefe: ‘History Will Absolve Me! Also Send Cash!’
Yesterday, as first reported by your Wonkette (<–COPY LINK HERE, LA TIMES), the world rejoiced upon news that the insufferable date-rapey Dennis the Menace clone known as James O’Keefe III had settled his lawsuit with a former ACORN employee to the tune of $100,000 plus one weak ass nonpology. Twitter erupted in a sea of Nelson [...]
How Are Arizona Republicans Performing Patriot Fellatio Today? (SFW)
Hey! Want to get scared shitless today? That’s great, because Arizona still exists, and all we have to do is say, “What are they doing?” and boom things instantly get weird and awful. So… what are they doing? Well, there’s a Democrat who’s trying to make it a felony to intentionally give someone an STD, [...]
Fourteen-Year-Old Actor Wants Buxom Pretty Sit-Com Lady To Be President, Is Idiot
We have nothing against Sofia Vergara. She is quite fetching! She is very funny, without being fat, ugly, or Jewish, fuck you Christopher Hitchens! But we feel like maybe she is not the first person you would think of to be president of the United States, despite this Washington Examiner story, reproduced here in total: [...]
Creative Legal Thinker John Yoo: Not Deporting Children Is More Unconstitutional Than Crushing Their Balls
In these uncertain times, it is comforting to know some things never change. Like John Yoo, who you may remember as the author of the Torture Memos during the Bush Administration! Has he had a change of heart about helping the American government justify its use of torture on detainees captured in the course of [...]
Wonkette’s Handy Explainer Of Pennsylvania’s Voter ID Supreme Court Case, With Dick Jokes
Yesterday, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court voted 4-2 (with IDs???) to send the challenge to the Pennsylvania voter ID law back to the lower state court that found the law was constitutional. The Supreme Court told Commonwealth Court Judge Robert Simpson that he must put the voter-ID law on hold if he determines that it will [...]
NH Sheriff Candidate: The Constitution Demands I Kill Abortion Doctors
Oh, for fuck’s sake. A Republican candidate for Hillsborough County Sheriff said Wednesday that he believes elective abortions are unlawful and he wouldn’t reject the use of deadly force to stop them. This is a position we would like to see more fully fleshed out before we reject it out of hand. Possibly a marauding [...]
Protesting Now Illegal, Basically
Look at what the freedom-hating Chinese government has done! They’ve gone and passed a law saying that it is illegal to enter a “restricted” area even if you didn’t know that the space was restricted, and also made it illegal to protest in said “restricted” area or do anything that could be “disruptive,” like booing. [...]
A Brief Interlude From Rand Paul
“Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so. The whole thing remains unconstitutional.” Have a good weekend, Rand Paul! [Politico]
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