Tag: conspiracy theory

Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clinton’s Child Sex Ring, As One Does.

Fake News begets real news, which begets fake news that real news is fake.
Gosh, these terrible Clinton supporters are so terrible

Lou Dobbs Accidentally Doxxes Trump Accuser, Oops! Stuff Happens, Doesn’t It?

Lou Dobbs is right. This campaign is ugly. Wish he hadn't helped make it uglier.
It's not the Bilberberger that'll get you. It's the secret sauce. Which is made of PEOPLE!

Alex Jones Rants About She-Devil Globalist Witch Angelina Jolie, In Better Times

Brangelina is no more. Try some Alexina Jonelie instead.

Julian Assange Warns Hillary Clinton Is A Demon Who’ll Murder Us All, Unlike That Nice Mr. Putin

Julian Assange says thing, Wonkette prepares for shitstorm in the comments.

Hillary Clinton Threatened To Murder Bernie Sanders, Says Credible Not-Russian-Sounding News Site

Did you know that Hillary Clinton threatened to kill Bernie Sanders if he didn't drop out of the primaries? It's on the internet, so it must be true.
Might even get Dr. Spaceman as your primary care physician...

Donald Trump’s Doctor Every Bit As Professional As Anyone Else In His Organization, God Help Us

Donald Trump's doctor, boy, I don't know.
The bowl of petunias only said, 'Oh no, not again.'

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hey, Libturds, A Jar Of Pickles Is Not A Medical Exam!

In which our deleted commenters treat a comedy sketch like the Zapruder film. We can hardly wait for the Dinesh D'Souza feature-length documentary on Picklegate.
Everybody in his club has to get this hat.

WND Publisher Just Asking: Will Obama Indict Hillary To Stay In Office Forever? (Yes, Obviously)

Joseph Farah, America's top conspiracy theorist, has figured out yet another way Barack Obama might make himself dictator for life. We're persuaded!
Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Julian Assange Is Pretty Sure Hillary Killed A DNC Staffer Because The Internet Said So

Julian Assange just threw another body on the Clinton murder mystery machine.
He really doesn't "get" jail.

Ryan Bundy Moved To Higher Security Cell After Attempting Aggravated Liberty On Deputies

Oregon wildlife refuge standoff leader Ryan Bundy was put into "disciplinary housing" following a scuffle that ensued when he didn't want to be removed from his cell. Conspiracy loons are pretty sure this is a crisis.
This just might be photoshopped.

U.S., Mexico, Canada Gonna Trilaterally Fix Climate Change, Make You Eat Poutine Burritos

The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced an ambitious plan to curb emissions of greenhouse gases, and we're wondering why no conspiracy theories have yet sprung up around it.
It's a plausible theory, at least

Utah Rep Being Bit Of A Racist, Lying Dick To The Indians

We've got Bundyite sovereign citizens, liars, and racists against the Bears Ears national monument proposal. Hell, all we need now is some good old-fashioned ratfucking.
Let us also assume you're running for Congress. Ah, but I repeat myself.

Obscure Congressional Candidate Shares Porn Habits With World, Finally Gets Noticed

Mike Webb will find the real porners if it's the last thing he does. Also, is definitely not crazy.